I really don't want to be alone right now

no I'm genuinely going to fucking flip my shit this is so fucked everything is fucked

dawg you know what just put a bullet in me idc anymore

AND I STILL HAVE $700 COLLEGE DEBT THAT I NEED TO TRY AND APPEAL BECAUSE I CAN'T PAY THAT. BECAUSE YOU KNOW, I'M FUCKING HOMELESS AND UNEMPLOYED! MY LIFE IS SO EPIC THANK YOU

they told me I need to get my ID updated with the name I use now or else I'll be in trouble with them or whatever so I guess it's pay $300+ for the court order (the rest of my survival funds I earned) or die!!! amazing!

god, now ICE has been spotted around here, and they've already raided a women's shelter... they'll definitely come here if they can. ugh...

I think there are some things that people are misunderstanding about Neuro-Sama. First off, she isn't only a chatbot that reads off Twitch chat with no input from her creator. There are multiple paid illustrators, musicians, and animators behind her (I'll link them at the end of the thread)

(Dandadan spoilers) this was honestly the sickest part of season 2. can't stop thinking about how awesome this scene is. youtu.be/XoodunTw0kw?...

therapist explained to me that she sees all the little ways I try and is impressed that I keep going and trying the way I do despite how hard it is and I burst into tears

Face reveal. Wrong answers only

I really need to stop replying to transphobes

lately I've been wondering if my ideal woman is someone who is like tough and dominant and likes horror movies and stuff to kind of contrast me, or a cuddly dork who is submissive

sorry I'm so fuckin weird

sooo they're just not serving food here anymore I guess. coooool

having a terrible day. why does nothing ever go right?

this looks awesome im excited to get some gock

salivating at the thought of eating the chocoshrooms in my purse... but what if my roommate hears me eating... I could get in trouble... oughhh

ough I want to go to the places for voice therapy and laser hair removal because everything is all set up but I'm really bad with directions and I usually rely on Google maps for like bus routes and shit but I'm totally out of data... and I'm broke so I really don't want to buy more

when I go to the doctor's, for some reason they just let me see their computer screen the entire time and when she opened up my chart there was like a bunch of boxes and one of them was massive, taking up like 70% of the screen, and it said "GENDER DYSPHORIA IN ADULT"

can FFS save me

oh yeah today someone came up to me at the train station and got me to take out my earbuds and she was asking me to take these religious pamphlets or something and without thinking I just said "oh, no, jesus doesn't love me" very confidently and she left

type of shit I see walking around Seattle (I'm so jealous why can't I draw like this)

my boobs hurt so bad today

I am still very intimidated by cishet neurotypical people because it always feels like they're judging me. especially those who are much older than me. and especially women because I never had any female friends growing up. sometimes I feel like I'm just some shitty imitation to them

genetically modified orgasms

I don't miss her anymore but I do miss having a gf that would dress me up in her alt girl clothes and makeup like I'm a little doll for her to decorate for her amusement and she can take me around town and show me off as I nervously cling to her arm no I swear I don't like her anymore

Americans think everyone hates America because we're jealous but it's actually because America is a loud and tacky dystopia. Really doing cyberpunk and robocop and mad max and children of men all at once

theres this guy at the youth home who I'm sure is some flavor of gay but I keep thinking he'd look good in a skirt

sometimes I wake up with a random thought in my head, usually nothing even related to my dream if I had one, but today's was "if I had a Ralsei I would make him do my taxes"

had a dream I was back in college and couldn't do anything right

I actually do well in social situations when someone asks like "what does the ashli think of (blank)" as long as it's like. actually something I know about. I do have interesting things to say hidden in my brain, I just don't say them unless prompted.

I don't really like Palworld or Hytale but I pretend to because I want Pokémon and Mojang to be scared into making better games

I hate when I have the perfect setup to make a super gay joke but the person I'm talking to is too straight to think it's funny

new programming socks. haven't had any for a while now

my new choker :3

I remember one time I was explaining to a "friend" the various terms referring to trans people and which ones were more offensive than others and the dude asked me "what about troon?" and I was like hmmmm where did you learn that term

I made a deal with the other side of myself to acknowledge her existence more as long as she would help out... so yeah. guess I'm bringing up Camilla on my account now, and not like... discrediting her existence

I actually chose the name Ashli to fit both sides of me... but coming to the realization that I might be two separate people makes me feel weird about the name I chose... like, which one of us is more like "Ashli"

I've been told by several people that I could become a model. but I don't really fit the beauty standards that cis people set... plus I have fucked up teeth. and I don't think trans models are in demand or anything. is it just because I'm thinner than most Americans?

I want to go home

am I still in the baby trans phase

if I can reduce the size of my brow bone and my jaw maybe I can be happy with my face

the desire to have something visibly wrong with me instead of invisibly wrong with me

bweh

I'm a bad influence. I shouldn't be here

based on a real story

if I kms I won't have to pay off my debt

bluesky implemented going live but still no private accounts