My sister THE MAYOR OF BERKELEY hosted our family reunion so I made a shirt to explain my role in our familial unit. See: -The mayor gave a chartered bus tour of her city, then helped cook breakfast for 50 people while on a zoom. -I found a decomposing wild turkey carcass & poked it with a stick.

When I find myself in times of trouble Feathers flurry through my door Speaking words of wisdom Nevermore

Falling asleep in safety is one of the best feelings in the world and many don’t appreciate it enough and it shows

Passed my level 5 Advanced Veterinary Nursing qualification . Exhausted and sobbing.

Check in from #veterinarynurse front lines. Conversion with colleague about how we can't tell whether we're sweating cos its hot and they won't buy us aircon, we're perimenopausal, or half the team is on Sertraline. Please be nice to your vet team, people. We are not ok.

My coworker forgot the word for a veterinarian so he just called it a "horse mechanic"

Fuck me that was tense #eurovision

one thing that has become clear to me after watching years of kid shows with my children: playing a bad guy who gets to cackle evilly is clearly the best role

Even the Babylon Bee Gets it #HamasForceOne #SwampForceOnce ✈️

New Zealand Government to 100s of thousands of working women: "I acknowledge that your current job needs to be done, but I think whomever does that job deserves to be in poverty." #PayEquity #NzPol

I recently met with Sally Denton at the Nottingham Law Centre to discuss the issues and challenges the organisation is facing in service provision, as well as exploring options to raise these concerns both locally and nationally. Thank you to staff for the essential work you do.

Just having my morning sob to Brandi Carlile like the sad queer I am

My partner got weirded out by how much my new calathea plant wiggles during the day, so of course I had to capture an 11 hour timelapse of it wiggling.

Nerrrrrd 😆 sec c

Me in the national security team group chat

EXPLORER 1: what should we name this new land we found EXPLORER 2: how bout Newfoundland EXPLORER 1: damn that’s fucken good

Parenting is .. Knowing that if he takes his Sonic the hedgehog toys swimming there's a chance they'll get lost, but that if I don't bring them with us he'll be just as upset as if they got lost, so either way I cannot win

Dear Every Streaming Service: When the end credits of the movie start playing, i will be experiencing An Emotion and will want to listen to the music for a bit. I DO NOT WANT you to pick some random completely unrelated movie and start playing that instead. 😡

Ma dawg is 8 today. Please wish Crumpet Elton John Lukehurst a very happy birthday. He really is the best dog ever 🐶

I am 43 years old and I, too, still feel deeply compelled to go down on all fours when running up stairs.

you’re fired. wait you’re rehired. email us a list of things you’ve done today wait forget it you’re fired again. come back your job was important. you’re fired. or hired. come in to the office. wait the office has no computers go home. we are the department of government efficiency.

I’m like 99% sure that mice don’t even have genders.

Just FYI, yesterday as a Friday shift was deffo no better

@fuseblues.bsky.social this feels like an "us" podcast....

It took seeing adult bullies to understand that my childhood bullies didn’t even really want to hurt me, they just wanted to feel powerful and how I felt about it wasn’t even in the equation. I can’t imagine someone not outgrowing that, but apparently it happens quite a lot!

womp womp. Keep going! www.nbcnews.com/business/bus...

What drives me crazy about the anti-DEI rhetoric is everyone wants to be judged on merit. But you can't be judged on merit if you can't even get in the door because you don't fit some prejudiced definition of who is capable and who isn't

*Friday afternoon dog chewed open a bottle of bleach and rolled in it klaxon* 📢📢📢📢 #vetmedsky #vetmed

Ok, we’ve got the fifty story hulking lizard monster…like a dinosaur but it breathes fire. But we need a potential nemesis…something that could take on this titan and win. Ideas? 🙋‍♂️: Moth.

Conversation with other couple in a restaurant with child: Me: " so it's not just us taking our out on Valentines day..." Them: " well, either they come or we don't do anything!" (children wave balloons and jabbering about Minecraft) (Parents give each other a knowing look and pour more wine)

Signal boosting for my friends wonderful UK based small business, special outfits for #preemie and #NICU babies Please give them a follow on their socials, gift to your preemie baby friends and family, or Pay it Forward by gifting to your local NICU ❤️ 🌈 superdinky.co.uk

Dammit why is Gardeners World not back on yet.

Weak men cannot compromise. Weak men cannot build consensus. Weak men think that leadership means force. Weak men build nothing that lasts.

they are stealing data from the american people and depriving us of the transparency that we are entitled to by law. none of this is legal and not a single federal employee has any reason to comply.

Jesus fucking christ

👇👇👇👇👇

What are they even collecting our data for. Are there rare data. Are there data shinies

Weird that we have to say this, but the government doesn’t get to decide what gender a person is.

Get thee to a nunnery ✝️

I cannot believe that our ghetto ass govn't actually worked together to get rid of a fuckin app. Meanwhile, I can die from eating a mixed salad laced with Listeria or a mass shooting on my way to get it. Man, FUCK YALLL

Teach a man to fish and he’ll eventually claim he just always had that knowledge innately and then try to explain to you how fishing works

Just making sure that everyone is aware of this crab that NOAA scientists found

I never buy Oreos because then I'll eat the Oreos, so instead I look in my pantry every day and I'm disappointed that I don't have any Oreos. ~a tragic personal memoir