I’ve given this a great deal of thought, trying to come up with the perfect joke for this moment, and this is what I have so far - POPE LEO: our religion teaches that this war is bad VANCE: wow, who died and made YOU head of the Catholic Church?? POPE LEO: well, you should know, you were there

During a meeting yesterday, we were asked who was interested in access to a limited number of “Copilot Premium” licenses, and slowly but surely, almost everyone started to raise their hands. Manager then asked if anyone WASN’T interested, and to my surprise, I was the only one to raise my hand.

And of course we have to repost this banger

@regretagarbo.rip does this do anything for you? www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8gSKbPk/

it'll be back in three days

I love that in this photo, it looks like he’s giving the preflight safety talk

"He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send him Matthew 5:9. That's the Chicago Pope way."

am i so out of touch? no. the catholic church is a far-left institution

Supreme Court justices rarely criticize their colleagues in public, when they do, they never single out any one justice. If Sotomayor's willing to just come out and say it like this, they really, really, really, hate his guts.

I do find it ironic how we have to have all these delicate conversations about what to do about ICE when Trump and co. have executive fiated USAID, DOE, the Wilson Center, institute of peace, CFPB, and now the Forest service

As well as Americans with insomnia 🫡

Me to Australian Bluesky users

Just read it and hook it to your veins

The economy would be better if everyone used cash and wrote checks like an old person instead of tapping their debit card!

You know what they say Hang on Godzilla, you’ll make it some day

Trump wants a $1.5 TRILLION war budget, 42% more than last year’s and more than the next 34 countries combined. And to help foot the bill, here's just some of what he plans to cut: -Cut the EPA budget by half -Cut $10.7 billion for housing -Cut $8.5 billion for K-12 programs (1/3)

I love this for me (but mostly for democracy)

Call Congress and tell them to do their job: 202-224-3121

Eyewitness video from the scene of today's ICE shooting in California appears to (you guessed it) contradict officials' claims that the man "weaponized" his vehicle. The car is reversing and the agents appear to be well clear of it.

SNL UK is absolutely putting its American counterpart to shame dear lord

QS This so I can find it once I vote

i think if you tweet "a whole civilization will die tonight" you shouldn't go to the hague, the hague should get to come to you

I think the three bright dots to the bottom right are Saturn, Mars, and Mercury. With stars of Pisces and Pegasus above them. And Aries to the top left of the picture, and Venus must be just out of frame to the left.

Cool, now block Trump

Definitely coming back here when I unlock bombs.

"Moon's haunted"

Also happy to report that the priest that joined us for Easter dinner last night appreciated and approved of “Fire Mass”

it also has this one

Our Fire Mass was great! My niece’s fiancé was confirmed and received first communion! My little 6-yo stayed awake the while time, and child be seen singing at 10 PM after 2 hours of mass!

The Bluesky Manifesto

@byctom.bsky.social Arnold joke

gotta create an account with a password? here's a better idea: run me over with a dump truck

we talking classic tweets?

Just so you understand, this is as if you prepared for argument in front of a panel that included Cookie Monster, and Cookie Monster asked you a question about cookies, and you had not thought about cookies in advance.

today’s Trans Day of Visibility 🌸💙 reminder to ✨ be there for trans people in your family, workplace, or any space you’re in ✨ donate to trans charity fund if you can ✨ don’t give money to the terf wizard franchise

happy Trans Day of Visibility 🏳️‍⚧️

Good news! OpenAI is canceling so many large purchase orders and datacenter expansions that the global price of RAM is dropping.

haters are one of Chicago’s most vital exports. they don’t grow them like that anywhere else. if you have been hated by someone from Chicago you never forget it. Leo talks like a guy who has to call up his confessor twice a day to yell about some new Truth Social post that’s making him see knives

they did Body Clocks to Northwestern in their own stadium. what happened to this league bsky.app/profile/cele...

If the estimates were right, there were about 9 million people at No Kings rallies today. That would mean this protest was THIRTY TIMES AS LARGE AS THE TEA PARTY PROTEST which we were told, over and over again, was a massively important sign that US politics had shifted dramatically to the right

thoughts on today: 1) the protests are good, actually 2) you should go to one of you can 3) it will do you good to see how many other people also hate this guy 4) you might meet people who you can organize with 5) there are more of us than there are of them 6) we are going to win

Variety spends the first 8 grafs on JKR being a piece of transphobic shit in this article and that's the way every single report on her should work actually.

Secret service agent Plaxico Burress

if British people truly pronounce the letter Z as "zed," as they so bizarrely claim, explain why on their signature song, the Spice Girls — perhaps the most important British people of the modern era, or at least the most British — say "here's the story from A to Zee"

Might be the greatest opening paragraph of anything ever.

NEW: Wikipedia has banned AI-generated content.

I’m still ineligible