They can

tfw you actually believed that shit to the point you became a congressperson only to realize none of that was actually real

I’ve govy. My GLP-1 receptors are so agonized

if i posted photos of someone like this my partner would be texting me with a link to the tweet accompanied solely with “?”

Zohran flip your hair again we need healthcare get him to give us healthcare.

you know that part in new vegas where you can get ceasar’s legion to retreat to the east and beat the game with a 100 speech check

tragic news: i bought more ram but the ram i got is bad :(

that’s absolutely right Alex 🗣️🗣️🗣️

8675309 is prime, and so is 8675311, so if you ever need a middlin'-large pair of adjacent primes to test your cryptographic suite, all you need is a 1980s earworm and a +2 and you're all set.

Earlier today, I was notified that someone was at my door. This is who it was:

We have landed a prob on the surface of Titan, the second largest moon of Saturn, the only moon (besides our own) we have photos from the surface of! Titan is also the only known moon with an atmosphere, and it’s also the only Other place in the solar state with stable liquid on its surface!

1) turns out I have nonalcoholic fatty liver disease 2) I have been prescribed wegovy, which is really funny to me.

Excuse to post a classic?

"Heracles was friends with Buddha" is my favorite outgrowth of this fact

it's weird to live in a world where a new 'worst thing you've ever imagined' happens at least a few times a month and it's easy to let it all run together and just sort of wash over you and go totally numb to all of it so you don't freak out because you still have to do laundry and go to work.

I think more things should have big visible coil winding rings. not enough big science rings imo. I could be convinced these are stargates

It is funny that this paper (on rhyming prompts supposedly "jailbreaking" LLMs more successfully than prose) begins by alluding to Plato's republic making poetry illegal, which I presume is also going to be the policy response to wide adoption of this type of attack against slop machines.

this is so fucking dark man. this is so grim. What do you even do in response to this shit. How many children are going to suffer and die COMPLETELY NEEDLESSLY. How many adults!!!!!

Do you want to view ✖️ Men ✖️ Women ✖️ Couples ✅ Tom Bombadil tomdabomb: hey guys tomdabomb: almost at goal Hornystud: boots LuvrBoi: show boots irl12inch: yellow boots NOW tomdabomb: ok singing goal reached tomdabomb: this one is called "the river-daughter" Hornystud: NO irl12inch: NO MisterCocks: NO

Wisdom was born when Harry Truman was president and raised chicks last year.

Yaaaay mysterious $150 charge from Amazon on my debit card

I had the severance surgery for when I get in the car

My parents keep their house so fucking cold dude how do they live like this. When I got there the thermostat was set to SIXTY

I have one day in Boston to myself in December. What should I do

I can’t believe how much of an upgrade this floor is lol

bill maher with one of the craziest flop jokes i've ever seen in my life

i truly genuinely don't get why people still pine for the headphone jack. like. like first of all i personally think wireless earbuds are better in just about every way. if you're an audiophile i guess maybe it's inferior but 99.9999% of people do not know or care about that

your pets cannot talk to you through buttons you buy off instagram. the only people who want you to think that are people selling buttons on instagram

they call it a hex editor bc you are casting little spells on the computer

I had a really smart idea: put power magnet under hi chair and use that to hold baby food bowl in place so Isaac can’t knock it off. Downside of my idea: there are no magnetic baby bowls (He hasn’t started solid foods quite yet I’m just thinking ahead

parents freed a hummingbird from a skylight with a coleus flower attached to a pole

This weekend did not feature my best performance in Burnout 3's Crash Mode.

18 year old baby queer: Calling yourself a transbian is icky!!!!!! 43 year old trans woman: You were but a twinkle in your mother’s eye when this phrase came into existence, young one. You know not its power. Guy who just had “mend buttcrack” cast on him by a wizard: Uh. Not to interrupt, but

stop crying. it's not a body, it's a *chassis*, and i paid a lot of money to trap your soul inside it

nooo my $4 in bitcoin i think i have kicking around in a wallet somewhere!!!!

Are you doing ok or are you an Elder Scrolls Legend Battlespire tiger rug

i cannot figure out what's wrong with my parent's wifi. they have gigabit and i'm getting that speed on a wired connection. i bought them their modem and router so i know those are good. i'm positioned one room away from where the router is. so like what the fuck man

Easy choice if you're a deer deciding where to buy a house

"your last saved meme is your <whatever>" why are you people saving memes. i haven't saved a meme since like 2002

because my dad is still using the same tv he got in 2006, a plasma which by now has terrible burn in of various network logos, he at least does not have motion smoothing

I feel this in my soul 😂

ai peaked here. We should have stopped at this level

Three days living with my parents and 1) I immediately revert back to to how I was at age 16 and 2) oh, I’m starting to understand where a lot of my particular flavor of issues came from hahahaha, making notes for my therapist