Socks is very strict about bedtime

Goon With The Wind

Someone’s bitter that the corpsman would only give him Motrin and not stronger pills

Guys, guess what I finally got around to doing? 🫣

Well well well

“Trump will do anything you want as long as he can make it appear to his dumb base like he got something in return” (paraphrase) seems like a spot on assessment to me.

Love how there’s no context about how the article was about Johnny Cash. Maybe it’s just me but I feel that kinda changes things, right?

How the fuck I have the hiccups

Goodness is about what you do. Not what you pray to. - Terry Pratchett, Snuff

Shit. You’re supposed to eat every day, aren’t you?

“Mama you have 15 mins to get to bed”

okay no more being cute about it there is literally no food in the house and i have exactly twenty-five cents to my name and im four hundred in the hole send food money si vous plait

No heaven and hell, no destiny - just a road trip fighting monsters

tfw when I'm not allowed to see the aurora borealis

I still have not processed what I just read.

Tabi is sleeping on my feet and she just did that whole body twitch thing

a bitch can’t even crave a steak and cheese in peace on this WebSite without a “joined nov ‘24” fucking yammering

Well then

@pfrazee.com can we please address the safety concerns with this automod? this is putting people like me in danger. (i am tagging you because your team refuses to use official channels to announce rollouts and policy changes. this is a change that was announced by you.)

The fact that “Greg Bovino height” is an autofill result is delicious.

greg bovino is 5'1" so I'm betting there's a step stool underneath where they cropped this photo

At least a percentage of every lawsuit that cops cause should be funded from the cops pension fund

Broke: friends to lovers Woke: mutuals to smoochuals

Reposted with Alt text.

I’m sorry but the Carl memes still amuse me

Happy Veterans Day to everyone that still instinctively avoids being outside at 0800

This Veterans Day, please remember that the US military is the largest carbon emitter in the world by a large margin. The Pentagon pollutes more than many entire countries whilst veterans sleep on the street.

No, seriously. The ability to have a good bowel movement is so amazingly under appreciated for what it can do for you. Hydration, fiber, and a stool softener can make your day just a bit brighter.

Knowledge is dangerous, which is why governments often clamp down on people who can think thoughts above a certain calibre. - Terry Pratchett, Last Continent

Getting baked and watching funny clip compilations

Juggalo Trump?!

Man, the universe really tried to keep the saxophone from being created

I should eat 🤔

My dumb ass has been thinking I had a PT appt tomorrow because my calendar widget had “Veterans” for tomorrow.

“... are you sure it's all true?” “I'm sure it's all journalism”, said William. “And what is that supposed to mean?” “It means it's true enough for now.” - Terry Pratchett, The Truth

Some people lick boots and some people go for full on fellatio.

I just realized that an accident prone stoner must say “I rolled a joint” constantly

The best part about making the bed is covering Tabitha and watching the annoyed lump run around under the covers

Anyone know how much you have to bribe a medical examiner to fill your abdominal cavity with popcorn before shipping your body off to the crematorium?

Lmao. Couldn’t figure out why so many people were reposting @rincewind.run’s Discworld Guide. I refreshed the feed like three times before I realized I had accidentally switched over from my Following feed to the Discworld one. Oops.

Medication label: may cause dizziness and drowsiness. Alcohol may intensify these effects. Me to the pharmacist: Is this a warning or an invitation?

Let’s hear it for the “WTH did this bruise come from” gang

(people who got here yesterday) *takes drag on cigarette* yeah everything was a zohran mamdani logo. half of them didn't even make any sense. some teenage mutant ninja turtle logoists fought back. Oldheads remember