Dear every podcaster/youtuber/voice-over person: Please attach your microphone stand/arm to anything other than the desk you put your hands/elbows/coffee mugs on. It's a very easy fix. A lot of us listen to you with headphones and the constant pounding sound is like nails on a chalkboard.

Daily reminder that Gavin Newsom sucks and is in line with crypto bros and billionaires when it comes to be against taxing the rich.

It's been a weird day. Everything but Bone Temple was my first viewing.

The calls for trans people to be quieter as we're wiped out are only going to increase, and you owe it to your sisters and brothers to get louder and louder.

Very interesting. Colorado activists successfully chased Palantir out of Denver.

Hungry, hungry guillotine

My hero, César Romero, applying his Joker makeup for 60's Batman.

Estimated cost of housing the homeless: $ 20 to 30 billion “We can’t afford it!” Estimated cost of feeding the hungry: $ 33 billion. “We can’t afford it!” Amount of money ICE IS SPENDING on cages: $ 38 billion. “We need to have a serious conversation about Superbowl halftime shows!”

AI is the “asbestos of the internet”

I want every single one of you who is an artist to find success and happiness making it, and I want every one of who loves to consume art to be swimming in an absolute sea of genius. Every attempt to shortcut that muddies those waters and robs real artists of success. That's my anti-AI stance.

Tonight’s dumb napkin cartoon…

Having an excellent start to my morning.

RIP Jesse Jackson. He saw y’all promising your vote to Gavin Newsom two and half years from now and was like I’m out

It was a goddamn hoot. Hardest I’ve laughed in theater in a long time.

This is my last post before seeing Nirvana The Band The Show The Movie. I look forward to seeing y’all on the other side.

Birthday dinner at Rougarou tonight. Not a single bad bite. We had nearly the entire menu. John David is a hell of a chef and I’m proud to see my friend doing such incredible work. Accidental sober friends only party. Full heart and lots of gratitude tonight.

A lot of 1990s photos of Oasis look like this to me.

Went for a walk then decided laying in the sun sounded better. 10/10

Might be the nicest weather I’ve ever had for my birthday.

Happy my birthday eve!

ICYMI: I introduced my Trans Bill of Rights with @markey.senate.gov — legislation to defend trans people across this country as Republicans continue to push anti-trans rhetoric and bills. To our beloved trans community: We see you, we love you, and we will always stand with you.

The Dow is over 50k right now!!! I don’t know why you’re laughing!?! Pam Bondi sounded like a straight up psycho cultist during her unhinged congressional hearing yesterday. She’s a PDF File protector and has no business being Attorney General.

Hell yeah. My boss knows I’m impossible to get gifts for because if I want something I’m going to get it myself. We’ve been talking about cooking a lot lately and he got this bad boy. A much more reasonably sized rice cooker than my Instant Pot.

They need to lower the age for the test. I will be 42 on Sunday and I want to take the test now. Colorectal cancer is fucking terrifying.

Excited to see Ron Funches next week at Comedy Works. Even more excited that it's a 4pm Saturday afternoon show.

YOU ARE A REGULAR GUY

Pam Bondi in the near future. 👇

Over on threads someone just use ai;dr and we all need to adopt that right quick

I saw an advanced screening of Jurassic Park when I was 9 years old. The only imagery I had seen before entering was the poster. I’ve been chasing the high my entire life.

This is some genuinely psycho shit...

Damn, James Van Der Beek died. He was only 48.

Finished my rewatch of Fringe. What a wonderful show about love and the lengths we'll go and sacrifices we'll make for the people we care for. I love revisiting shows I've seen before later in life and how they mean something completely different to me now. 10/10, one of my favorite shows ever.

Watters: I was walking in my street, a car drives by and I give him a wave. He rolls down the window and says, “F U fascist.” He doesn’t know I’m a fascist! Jessica: Yes, he does. You’re on TV.

“Four of my children just evaporated,” Badran said, holding back tears. “I looked for them a million times. Not a piece was left. Where did they go?” There are no words to adequately describe the evil here.

It’s a gorgeous day, got some bloodwork done and now it’s time for a solo theater trip to see Send Help.

JD Vance visited the Armenian genocide memorial in Yerevan, accurately called it that in a post, then under orders from the Turks and the Heritage Foundation he deleted the post in two hours and replaced without the word “genocide” - the fascist police states always line up. #armeniangenocide

The fine folks over at 800LBS Gorilla are releasing my special, '20 Years In Comedy and All I Got Was This Lousy Special," on their YouTube today! Premiere is at 6 p.m. MST and I'll be live in the comments. Join us! www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qJV...

Let's Go Crazy

They're building concentration camps with my tax money Chuck. They're torturing children. They're murdering innocent people on the street. What are you doing.

Tomorrow I begin my journey taking the Wegovy tablet. I'm excited to be taking positive steps for my health and well-being. A little nervous about the nausea, but it feels like a small price to pay to start shedding pounds.

This scene from the season 5 premiere of Fringe is another of my all time favorites. This song has stuck with me ever since I saw it. In White Tulip, Walter asked for a sign of forgiveness. In this episode he needed a sign of hope. More people need to give Fringe a chance.

Today I have officially been alcohol and cocaine free for 7 months. It's never too late to make better decisions.

no eres mis casa bonita no eres mis esposa bonita

Feels like all these A.I. companies spent the last of their money on these dogshit commercials tonight.

OK "god bless america" and then naming every country in the americas from south to north is absolute king shit

Fucking excellent half time show!

Very excited to make proper Chinese food at home.