“There were times when the rivalry became heated”. Thomas Middle Initial Gulitti, you knock that off.

Okay CTA. This is a good sign.

Gonna set up a combination domme club and bakery. That’s right, it’s Pain Au Chocolate.

Today marks the anniversary of the end of the Confederacy, which is notable for killing slightly more people than Young Sheldon, despite surviving only half as long.

I absolutely love dogs and am a guy who doesn’t mind showing up to court with little mud-print paws on my suit, but also don’t be an entitled fuckwit who abuses courtesy to bring your dog everywhere regardless of how it might affect others. This is another consequence of stigmatizing shaming.

No state has a right to exist. If 100% of Americans decided tomorrow that the United States shouldn’t exist, and instead we lived under an equally-sized country named Marvin, as a Constitutional Monarchy where every trans woman serving a 1 year term as queen, “the United States” hasn’t been wronged.

Check this ceasefire out motherfucker [I unilaterally declare ceasefire, it’s not really clear anybody ever actually agreed to anything, not even stop shooting]

Uh oh, Bluesky is having trouble loading posts again. Time to drastically improve my enjoyment of Bluesky by making jokes that blame vibecoding.

What’s hilarious is that this person quoted me saying that lots of people will make jokes about something, and is trying to use it to pretend that people making those jokes A) are mad; and B) believe the jokes literally becoming the exact person he’s whining about in the first place.

I have no idea if AI factors into the problems with Bluesky today, but if you lean into telling people how much you rely on The Overhyped Bullshit Engine to make something, and that thing breaks, you should definitely expect a lot of jokes about how it’s because you use The Overhyped Bullshit Engine

yeah we can tell, jay

Im not saying I believe it, but I’m definitely up for pretending I do it to anyone who takes LOTR too seriously.

AreYouNotEntertained.gif

What’s funnier, that Bob here doesn’t know that they fired their ombudsman while specifically saying they’d be relying on social media feedback, or that he lacks the courage to publicly admit how ridiculous his argument is given that context?

Why isn’t there a Dutch rapper named Stroop Dogg?

In Futurama, people routinely fly spaceships that are so normalized that they fly directly out of building within city limits. They also believe that there were whalers on the moon. This seemed farcical until LLM slop became normalized.

It is the year 2026 AD. Super hackers have gained illicit backdoor access to the AI Claude through the Chipotle support chat.

I don’t believe that the birthright citizen case will be 9-0. It should be. It should have been denied cert. to begin with. But a split decision (say, 7-2) allows pretty much all the hyper-partisan conservatives to get what they want: loyalists show loyalty; the rest, a fig leaf for their utter bias

TFW a big account you respect likes some of your posts and you cross your fingers and hope they don’t repost.

Yeah, this is basically my read of the situation. People were dogpiling on Twitter every single day I was on that site. Same for Facebook and Reddit and…everything. Realistically, the only Certified Bluesky Quirk is that the dogpiling is done leftishly, which, as I’ve said before, hits differently.

If Bluesky wants to use AI so much, they should make one that auto-detects when you’ve rewritten a joke twelve times before canceling, so that it proactively avoids hitting you with the “hey bud, wanna save a draft” pop up. Fuck you, I know the joke sucked. That’s why I gave up.

Mind you bluesky was shading X on X about adding AI tools 5 months ago

another banner day for "if you didn't know sports were real, ESPN headlines would be crazy"

Inventors of the Internet: this invention will connect the globe in unfathomable ways and provide more knowledge to more people than any other invention ever Me at 5 am on no sleep: I should see if Yuri became less popular as a first name after the internet revealed that the name has…other meanings

That was called the Dust Bowl, Megaman.

Organizing it this way is POOP erasure.

Drift wearing the "Ambulance Chaser" tshirt and Ratchet can't even look at him

When I hear men worshipping guns and talking about how there’s nothing that will stop them from defending their family, my mind goes to Naaman in the Bible. Do you remember Naaman? He was a great military leader, and he also had leprosy. 1/

A computer can never pack a bowl therefore a computer must never make a playlist

Dude who got beat up was quick to whine online about how he “approached” Alan Ritchson, but managed to leave out that he jumped into the middles of the street, and then tried to physically prevent him from leaving after physically attacking him. Also…Ritchson doesn’t appear to be going that fast lol

"we get caught up in these sort of squabbles on earth that are really very minor things, when you consider the grandness of the universe" holy shit dude, just pay your taxes already

Replacing TSA workers with ICE agents is just taking our embarrassing degree of security theater and making it improv.

NHL Facts: 8 points separate the 1st team in the Metro from the 2nd. 8 points separate the 2nd team in the Metro from the 6th. 1 team in the Pacific Division has 80 points. 4 teams in the Western conference have 80 points or more. 6 teams in the Atlantic Division have 80 points or more.

Thanks to all the 20k follower, 30k following dorks overreacting to this, I’ve now learned that the lady behind Mueller She Wrote likely lied about her service, and lied to the government to get a PPP loan money riiiiiight before she installed a pool at her house. More like Streisand, She Rang, no?

Jesus, they weren’t bloody joking.

Welcome to my new game show “Hyperbolic Troll Bot or Bari Weiss’ Inner Monologue”.

cam skattebo is a horse trapped in the body of a moron

Penguins gonna have like 12 goals, 1 expected

Today what I would usually say about "hey people's place of business is not a place for you to cause chaos, people are just trying to work, you hooligans" has been replaced by "lol I mean fuck target tho"

If he's going to get a national profile on the strength of a younger woman's campaign, I'm going to come out and say it: during his short-lived tenure as a math professor, Biss had an inappropriate romantic relationship with one of his undergraduate students. I was that student.

This is an enormous step forward for women of people.

What if in 20 years an actor named LeBron B. James comes along and people spend weeks arguing about whether him or Michael B. Jordan made better films

He looks like if The Matrix was about being cis.

The formatting of this Beckett quote does still represent resilience and determination, just of a very different sort.

Youtube thumbnails from ancient times