Psychiatrists have discovered a new personality type: the dipshitvert.

The human brain is a complex machine honed over millions of years of evolution to pick up on hints that people don't like it.

They call them teletubbies because they're fat and far away.

The idea that BAFTA's apology has been insufficient is kind of a weird one, because you can say that about any apology. The sufficiency of an apology is an entirely subjective measure.

I love when pencils are sold unsharpened. Just a solid cylinder of wood. Who are you to pre-sharpen my pencil for me?? Presumptuous.

You're telling me a shrimp Stated this Union?

She's so cool.

Nancy By Ernie Bushmiller February 24,1947

Me and my friends would’ve looksmaxxed E.T. with hammers I can tell you that much

I don't think people should vote for the Reform Party. I think that is loser behaviour.

lmfao "my politics are NOT inscrutable, i think everyone should have healthcare but some people should starve"

Just accidentally referred to a very core bit of a colleague's role, a very important piece of work, to them as "their little project" and immediately felt like the world's most patronising arsehole. It just came out like that! My mouth isn't always connected to my brain!

Who the hell is going to custodiet these damn custodes!?!?

at last, we have invented retrophenology from the classic Discworld text Don’t Invent Retrophenology

Dunk and Egg opinion: I don't think I like that Egg snuck away. I think it's a bit too cruel to Maekar, who, despite being a sourpuss, a kinslayer, and of course an evil dragon mutant, isn't a bad guy.

It is important to remember that, despite popular portrayal, only about 10% of people with Tourette syndrome suffer from coprolalia. The other 90% are genuinely racist.

Keir Starmer should drink a potion that turns him into a creature of unconstrained id. That'll reset his pesky government.

Tomorrow will be the first day in over 200 years that Tuesday and Wednesday will coincide on the same day.

lol filling out job applications is wild, like what on earth is this supposed to mean, there is literally no other context on the screen

Please, they've suffered enough.

It's been eight years since I found a nice hole.

It's been dead quiet at work today, so I have decided to become a cruciverbalist.

I like to think that this map of all the regional names for woodlice in the UK could also be a map illustrating the new tribes of humans to be found on the same landmass after The Great Digital Crash and ensuing breakdown of society.

TYPICAL OAF: I would like to watch "Beavis and Butt-Head." ME: I would like to watch "Genius and Smart-Head."

i love paying more for less every year. i love feeling like I'll never get ahead no matter how hard i work or frugal i am. i love further concentrating wealth in the hands of our overloads. this is what i was born to do

They should invent a kind of computer that is good.

*hearing someone make a dark or bad taste joke* Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on there, don't you know that bad things have actually happened in real life?? Bet you feel pretty silly about making light of them now!

Invasion of Astro-Monster (1965)

This is what gaming is all about

It is a testament to how stupid everyone in politics, economics and the media are that this can be presented as good news. www.theguardian.com/politics/202...

I really don't like how widely the word "mayor" has been being applied across devolved local government regions lately. A mayor should be the leader of a discrete urban area, they're talking now about creating a "mayor of Norfolk and Suffolk". That's stupid, there should be a different name for it.

I think I've decided I didn't like the flashback stuff in the last Dunk and Egg ep. Just seems a bit cliché and uninspired for Dunk's tragic backstory to be a fridged girlfriend.

Might get a pizza tonight... Last few times I got a pizza I regretted the experience, but this time, maybe this time will be good.

I was reading the back of my cereal box this morning, and did you know there are only three kinds of cheerio now? No more cheeri-rice or cheeri-corn, now it's only oats, wheat, and BARLEY.

Having a day at work where people keep dropping appointments on me last minute, making me shift my day around, and then themselves not turning up to those appointments on time. Frustrating!

How to draw a horse. Step 1: Draw the tits Step 2: Add rest of horse

You're telling me a shrimp wuthered these heights??

People are counting Keir Starmer out, saying he's done, but not me. I reckon he's got plenty more completely avoidable fuck ups in him.

It's nice how this franchise has progressed from GOT being insecure enough to put backstory in "sexposition" scenes ("Play with her arse") and AKOTSK is basically like, you all know who the Targaryens are right, good, let's go and the only time we've seen prostitutes is on their smoke break

I wish I loved anything as much as my phone loves autocorrecting “of” to “if”

Do you reckon having smoke blown up your arse would actually feel nice? It'd probably be warm, which sounds OK.

Watched the Dunk and Egg show during my lunch and am now feeling pretty devastated, which is stupid because I've read the book and knew I'd be devastated but I decided to devastate myself anyway.

The government aren't going to abolish tuition fees because the current system is basically an accounting trick to make it look like the state holds more assets than it currently does. Effectively what happens in England at the moment is that the state will subsidise your university tuition...

I mean, good but also lol

I've been watching youtube reactions to the Dunk and Egg show and people keep reacting to the bit in the first episode where Daeron leaves the gold dragon saying like "a Targaryen coin, he must be a Targaryen!", and, like, yeah he is, but that's not how coins work. People don't have personal coins.

I watched that new Muppet Show thing and I don't think the current muppeteers have even a fraction of this talent, and worse, I don't think they even know that they don't have it.

Been out for a long walk but forgot my watch to count my steps, but to be conservative let's just say it was about 30 billion kajillion steps.

Found a pub where the landlord is smoking a cigarette behind the bar. A true treasure in today's fallen age.