Scott Adams about to unlock the ultimate hack to "get the hell away from Black people," excited for his breakthrough

Sad to announce today that yes I will be in Avengers Doomsday as Disney's Marvel's 3rd 1st gay background character they can cut with no story impact whatsoever 😔 AMA

A day of two terrible tragedies

Sydney Sweeney Top 10 Juggiest Moments of All Time

"Please don't kill me! I have a wife and children! Kill them!"

This movie should not be a never-was. It should be so well known, it's great. The villain song is so fun, the triumphant hero song is so good, absolute madness. You know what the director did after this? Emperor's New Groove, and that movie fucking slaps too.

Sagittarius: People will be much less impressed when they find out your story about beating the devil at the crossroads involves you playing Super Mario Brothers 3.

Your failure to masturbate to this cartoon dog is a real "mask-off moment"

Following a football gay is so confusing sometimes. Bears?! Oh. Seed?! Oh. Tightend?! Yea it's fine I guess.

this shot….why can’t we make movies anymore

@cyberforget-ai.bsky.social hi your social media page just followed me and AI? A. I.?¿ FUCK OFF. DELETE. BLOCK ME BITCH!

Everyone keeps comparing this to Iraq & honestly: They're very different; 1 was a ruse a bunch of rubes fell for to overthrow a government for cheap oil, & the other is a fucking stupid thing Trump did with absolutely no plan to follow up. The oil and money will just appear. Like the tariff shelf.

Days after his third dementia screening in six months the president of the United States, who is an open pedophile, abducts a foreign head of state

Problematic lesbians.

They know where he is, just request a meeting as the Ghost of Charlie Kirk or His Dad's Approval or whatever and bother him IN PERSON

My sister let us know Nancy Drew and The Little Engine that Could are now public domain. I said they can finally solve crimes together. They were like "did she solve crimes, or mysteries? I said Nancy is public domain she can do what she wants, they could run an illegal train casino together. Well.

We had a good run

I'm starting to think there aren't enough cats for how hard these times are.

Hey does anyone know of a free android image editor thats bette rthan the stock gallery one? It doesnt ha e to be a lot better, I pretty much just need it to be able to make me a canvas space to work it. Its for a joke, yes.

Now that they’ve started a war I’ve completely forgotten that they’re pedophiles.

I can’t believe the winner of the FIFA peace prize would do this.

Next Lipsync For Your Life when? Got so much junk in the trunk that I could dunk on my haters, yo. But I don't mess with punks. Sorry bro, I'll see you later, though. I got that meaty might. That wiggly delight!

I'm sorry* to all the Teen Titans Go! haters but they do an episode about the importance of government taxes and that's hilarious. *I'm not sorry not even a little.

Motherfucking captains the USS SlopMachine and is mad we're calling his slop bucket garbage slop. Make a better product? Or kys

I regret to inform you that ACAB includes him so no, not all dogs go to Heaven

Gonna be really awkward when the whole Paw Patrol ends up in Heaven and no one can find Chase too

2026 energy:

Food poisoning + not eating anything beyond crackers for 48 hours + mike hard lemonade might be a bit too much but today has been very stressful. But I am drunk after 2 sips so 😬 I might need food.

If the government started investigating my tax return they wouldn’t accept a testimony from my calculator.

They gentrified the tinfoil hat

if you push the buttons on a vending machine and it spits out a coke, that doesn't mean the vending machine understood thirst

what the fuck do u mean you “shrunk the kids” I want a divorce

again?!? damn, the man can’t catch a break here

Also: love the toxic Yuri plot continuing in the DLC

My Zeraora hunting outfit + a selection of shinies I really liked. Avalugg is also an Alpha

Happy Public Domain Day to Nancy Drew, Golden Bat and The Shadow!

Anyone playing the Legends ZA dlc probably wasn't expecting to end up in Stranger Things but here we are.

it’s all i’ve got

I already saw this movie and episode of Futurama

I’ve always thought coffee would be more enjoyable if my coffee cup followed me around while trying to tell me about white genocide

Getting into the groove for New Year's Eve. #DonkeyKongBananza