HEY!!!

This one is for the haters. Your moment has come

WOKEMEGGEDON! 🙌🙌🙌

Im here to be friends. I’m on threads to start some shit

I could pay the finest scientists and engineers in the world to spend the rest of their lives pushing the limits of nanotechnology and still not be able to produce a violin small enough for these landlords www.theglobeandmail.com/business/art...

Me: “I need to ask you something “ My wife: “I’m busy!” My wife:

www.cbc.ca/news/canada/... We need a prison system for nimbys who want to interfere with healthy society in order to protect private interests

www.cbc.ca/news/canada/... It’s Alberta’s oil. But also, it’s Canada’s coast?

Just realized I haven’t posted in a long time. Thought I better before I get raptured later. Take me Jesus I’m ready

I never thought that Jason Kenney and I would agree on anything. We may be at opposite ends of the political spectrum but he is a Canadian and so am I. He calls out the bogus Alberta separatist gang who are trying to destroy our country. Putin trolls, MAGA minions and suckers for disinformation.

The Yankees will never win another World Series. Never. Let the curse, commence.

Yay.

you run your office your way & I'll run my office my way

You can’t because they understand it but they do not know what Trump is going to do with CUSMA renegotiation. Like it or not, Carney has to talk to these people

Being September is enough. It also being a Monday is just throwing salt in my eyes.

Are vaccines safe? Let's ask this guy who sounds like a dying refrigerator compressor

If you think an autistic person is "dense" because they asked you clarifying questions, I hate to break it to you, but they needed to ask follow up questions because you didn't explain yourself well enough. Not because they have comprehension issues. Hope that helps 🙃

Marc Cuban: “But would you suck Hitler off if it meant he’d lose the next election, big time?”

They say 'the machines of the future' will be as smart as people... OK, but WHICH people? Because it kinda matters quite a bit.

Drake really lucked out from Trump being elected because "Not Like Us" would have definitely been performed at a Kamala inaug

every morning

Bruce Fanjoy wins Battle River-Crowfoot by-election

Assault with a deli weapon

He's clearly subtweeting me

you can stop the trolley at any time but doing so requires you to make a phone call

www.cbc.ca/news/canada/... ok guys hahah ive had enough. You can pull me from the simulation ive had enough.

I come on here to see all the posts by people who love their dogs. The rest of you heartless fucks (cat people) can go to hell

I think it’s kind of incredible that for years I made fun of Liam Neeson by referring to him as Leslie Nielsen. And now he IS Leslie Nielsen

Breaking: Former Foreign Minister of Iraq, Muhammad Saeed Al-Sahhaf, known as Baghdad Bob, has accepted President Trump’s offer to serve as head of the Bureau of Labor Statistics, effective immediately. Thank you for your attention to this matter. 📈🎖️👏🏻

As for my favourite spoonerized business name, it will never not be this furniture showroom in New Zealand...

It’s been 1,962 days since I’ve been wearing a mask indoors and I haven’t been sick in 1,962 days. Crazy right? No. It’s fucking science.

One word: potash

I feel like engagement has dropped and I bet some people have crawled back to twitter. Fuck that. Come make this place great.

General Eisenhower ordered Nazi death camps to remain standing for a reason.

BIG NEWS - Dachne, Ukraine — Soldiers of the 37th Brigade of the Armed Forces of Ukraine have raised the Ukrainian flag in the western part of the village. This indicates that it has been fully cleared of Russian occupiers and is now back under Ukrainian control. @visionergeo.bsky.social

Who the fuck kills firemen?! That’s like kicking a golden retriever

Mr. Mamdani do you condemn that U2 album they downloaded onto everyone's iPhone back in 2014

🤣🤣🤣🤣 NEW: MAGA is IMPLODING over satirical news that red MAGA hats are BANNED from Disney theme parks. They're vowing never step foot in a Disney park again. 😁 In other words, they're gonna make the world's happiest place a whole lot happier!

Y’all are delusional. Metric is the better standard. Just learn it implicitly and there’s no problems. Trust me, everyone knows that 40 degrees is miserably hot. Just like people know 100 degrees Fahrenheit is hot.