me at 5:25pm

Shoutout to the “hide post for me” function

This got me thinking: What do *y’all* think is the worst rebrand/logo change of all time? Eager to see the replies and quote tweets!

Decided to learn how to skateboard at the age of 30

25/200

anyone attending the white house correspondents dinner is a fucking traitor

I don't think I could make a joke better than this

Ayatollah Khomeini is the fourth most popular name in America for baby boys born in 2026

happiest of days to one of my oldest bluesky friends @shortking.boston ! the coolest platypus on this here webbed site (like his weird toes)

Well the strongly worded letters didn’t work, but I think that a subtle dig like dressing different will really get to him

Democrats weighing runs for the White House want to lose really fucking bad

This reads like propaganda for big mail www.businessinsider.com/mailed-resum...

To quickly recap—after committing genocide in Gaza, Israel bombed Iran, passed a law to hang Palestinians, is bombing Christians in Lebanon, & is checking attics in Christian homes to make sure there’s no Muslim hiding, & if they find a Muslim, they kill him. “Only democracy in the Middle East.”

This looks like the absolute most dogshit show of all time

“Praise be to Allah” —President DONALD J TRUMP, Easter morning 2026

Pilot light is out. Held a lighter on it for 3 fuckin minutes and it still wouldn’t light. Maintenance request put in, blankets gathered

They will be very pricey too, so if you like the idea of supporting me, but not the idea of spending 4 figures, I have some other limited edition pieces at a more modest price point, for example: standplaatskrakow.etsy.com/listing/4388... Any profit from these also goes straight into the house.

Starting today I will be putting up unique pieces on my Etsy standplaatskrakow.etsy.com. These will be a curated selection of my favorite abstracts, they'll be 28 inch square giclee prints on 200 gsm matte paper, and there will only ever one of each produced. A real opportunity to own my best.

Seems like they accidentally ordered the wrong thing lol, bummer but they’re gonna make it right. As far as this kinda thing goes, their customer service was awesome. The delivery drivers even double checked what we wanted, and reached out to customer service for us

Heartbreaking: it was the wrong couch

Text to my wife: “this for me pls 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺”

The time of couch approaches. He is ready

The living room floor is completely open and empty and the cats are Freaking Out

The target is too weird. like way too weird.

And you’re watching the top gear south america special

The Lotus Esprit V8 is surprisingly good off road

Unrelated but the proper spelling is now ‘yáll’

I love how trans people saying “please don’t kill us, it’s becoming illegal for us to exist, help us” gets framed by liberals as “you radical leftists are just purity scolds with unrealistic demands. you’re like whiny children who hate bedtime! If you’re going to be so rude about it, i won’t help!”

Our new couch gets here today, my shift is very short due to Easter, let’s fucking go dude this shit rules

ok 💞 yay 💞💞

i do think bluesky is dying. don't you? haven't you heard about pollution? CLIMATE CHANGE? the sky,

Heartwarming:

I tend to get dogpiled every time I say this but: Dogpile me please. Please, won’t you dogpile me?

Erewhon disgusts me

Hello, all I can think about when I use social media is how it can make me money. This platform is shrinking for sure, definitely not stabilizing after an enormous influx of users due to political happenings. This is bad, and everyone should care about this as much as i do

I tend to get dogpiled every time I say this but: as someone *who likes the earth and benefits from being here* we have a problem. The core of the earth, has stopped spinning. It has dropped to zero miles per hour. This time last year it was .5% faster than earths surface.

overnight another couple of wonderful folks donated a combined $40 bringing me to NZ$730 of $999 — just $269 to go!!! 😭 thanks SO MUCH to everyone who has donated or reposted so far!! if you haven't yet, plz consider chipping in a dollar or two! if you can't donate, maybe give me a reskeet instead?

More like james ass

JESUS: This is my body given to you JUDAS: (trying out a new hat) Hey guys, sorry I’m late JESUS: lmaooo wtf is THAT. did you fall headfirst into a beaver’s asshole? JUDAS: This style is actually very popular in Capernaum JESUS: Yeah, Cap-of-rectum JUDAS: (under his breath) I’m so sick of this shit

Damn, the Man in Black’s son is doing really well. Don’t tell the gunslinger

if you invented public libraries today, every opinion page in the country would be arguing for means tested subsidized Amazon Prime memberships

Genuinely one of the best accounts on here

I’m so angry

The “Bluesky is dying” cluster of journalists are so predictable now. One of them should start aggressively advocating that everyone switch to WeChat or something

In the billions of words written about wh40k, not a single person dared to ask Sanguinius this question: is it pink?

Text from my 15 year old brother: “I’ve been listening to nu metal”

@k1m.bsky.social I need more enemies on threads pls

logging on to threads

how have I lived 30 years without listening to bossa nova