[michael jai white as black dynamite] kirby swallows master chief, killing him instantly; kirby gains the mjolnir powered assault armor and is jacked off to completion for the first time in his life, his heart explodes, ending the match in a draw, can you dig it?!

Choosing my presidential candidate based on which one vows to make space dust IPA 12% again

Getting my wife booty shorts that say "BARREN" on the butt. Getting myself a shirt that says "SHOOT'N BLANKS" on the back. Both articles of clothing have looney toons characters on them

Just spent 4 hours explaining all of the Saiyan transformations (canon and non-canon) to my wife, she's fuckin dripping rn

Getting my wife booty shorts that say "BARREN" on the butt. Getting myself a shirt that says "SHOOT'N BLANKS" on the back. Both articles of clothing have looney toons characters on them

Yeah bro I just knew she was the one when she shaved the cool S into her pubes bro

insulated boxer-briefs called short jims

Arbitration is the period of time between eating and shitting out Arby's

Me: "empanadas would go crazy right now" My wife: "how's fazolis sound"

Lowe's should start selling sushi

One thing that I'll never forgive my wife for is showing me how much better life is if I file my nails. I hate doing it. It feels like I'm applying sand paper directly to my brain. But it's so worth it

Lowe's should start selling sushi

Arbitration is the period of time between eating and shitting out Arby's

Please can you help me stay sheltered and fed beyond the next couple nights as I recover from pneumonia

Heard a lot of noise outside, looked out the window to see a guy with a backpack leaf blower climbing a ladder to the roof of my building. Godspeed sir

I know most of you probably don't have much to spare right now, but if you do, I could really use help with getting my rent together and avoiding Foreclosure Season / Harvest Time For The Moneylenders. Thank you very much. Even small donations can help me out tremendously!

LMAO I’m leaving on my flight and I have a negative checking account AND have NO idea how I’m gonna pay my rent lmaoooo Merry Christmas and happy new year to trans rights

weef

weef

weef

ahhhhhh yesss a fine vintage indeed mygoodsir

Wife also got me a happy light and I love it so much

Me after I spend all Christmas Eve and Christmas arguing about why universal healthcare is too complicated

The art in this book is so fuckin good dude

Merry Christmas my wife got me dragons

Got my Nana a digital picture frame, shipped it to my dad bc her driveway is 2 miles long with a gate at the end. Dad and my brother are gonna set up the picture frame, lfg

Outer Worlds 2 good, vvv good so far

Apparently Farming Simulator 25 hates my audio interface. Who tf wants to farm with no sound

www.nexusmods.com/morrowind/mo... I made a mod that replaces cliffracers with Thomas the Tank Engine. I am incapable of learning lessons whenever it involves corporations, because I fundamentally do not view toy company CEOs or media CEOs as people. #morrowind #thomasthetankengine

Hey everyone, I hate asking especially rn so close to Christmas, but I've been off my meds for 4 days now with little hope of getting them before Christmas. Any assistance with getting something to help me sleep would be really, really appreciated 🥺🙏 Paypal.me/ogsophiegee

60 minutes CECOT segment. Recorded through my browser. HD quality. Not phone. Spread it around. If you're press, it's yours. Go nuts. It's streaming on a Canadian website, but there is no telling for how long. www.filemail.com/d/wkcdttnacp...

Here is the truth smuggler archive.org/details/3mam... @cbsnews.com @60minutes.bsky.social

it's legit and copied to my local machine so it's not going away

Your girl is desirous of eating some protein. 2 minute noodles aren't cutting it

No but he's totally fine bc he was nice to me once

Fallout s2e1 fuckin rules, rewatching the first season now

my Jeff the Killer fanfic has just reached 350,000 words so I'm about half way there

Shout out to Dropout for once again doing a year-end profit share with their contributors. Its really really cool to see a media company achieving unprecedented success and paying it forward to the people who have made it possible

cthulhy rae jepsen is like 'i r'lyeh r'lyeh r'lyeh r'lyeh r'lyeh r'lyeh r'lyeh like you'

Everyone remembers hit tv special when leonid and stutch round up thought criminals

it's stutch from beloved dosniy film leonid and stutch

so now crime dog, macduff crimes dog. he is saying for kids: you must go make bites in crime? or threats to the child so, crack deal, smashing of store, stabs, on on on, make plans for my big bite? this.. no. even bad burglaries child of filth life, smiles to filth, best crime macdog MUST obey, 100%