Fun fact: if anyone makes a, 'glObAL wArMiNg' comment during winter you’re allowed to hit them in the face with a two by four

U.S. pals: Do. Not. Donate. To. Salvation. Army. There are better charities out there. Much better.

A couple of hand warmer pouches down the front of my pants while working outside in winter has done more to improve my quality of life than ai ever could

Belton nonprofit animal shelter seeks donations for pet care and expenses after a fire at Lily’s Play-N-Stay displaced 17 dogs and killed 1.

Can everyone from a civilized country explain universal healthcare to the billionaire.

Where are the states rights people?

And they just gave this chuckle fuck a trillion fucking dollars

They’re going to keep shoving slop down our throats to justify the billions they’ve already spent

Alrighty then.

He has such a raging fucking boner for autocratic rulers

They should never know a moment of peace. Fuck nazis

Stunned we haven't seen the rise of "anti-AI" businesses. Media outlets that promise human reporting and authorship. Shopping sites that promise human curation. Art sites that promise human creation. "How do I avoid slop?" is gonna be a defining question in 2026. Businesses should answer it.

Ghost yourself by getting black out drunk.

Y’all wanna see some ineffectual leadership?

Name them. Tell us specifically which small business owners are seeing a resurgence

Just once I’d like an athlete to say “hail Satan” at the beginning of a post game interview, is that too much to ask

Very pregnant and telling pause after that first question

He’s pardoning all of don junior's plugs

Me and the fellas beating the toxic masculinity out of each others souls

Quick: someone ask him which specific implements he buys from john deere

After much research and development I have made an offline version of ChatGPT. Now you can save water and electricity while navel-gazing, and carry one of the world's most powerfully annoying AI chatbots in your pocket.

I deserve to be paid for my time doing the store's job for them

If you helped your mom wrap your siblings' xmas presents as a kid— CONGRATULATIONS!!! You’re gay now

Giving Tuesday? No. Today is definitely giving Monday vibes.

hey everyone let’s get together and disobey the president of the united states

If Goldilocks had broken into the charmin bear house I’m not so sure it would be a story we’d want to read

Completely normal panel of Ludwig Von Drake drinking water from a cactus, send post

Just once I would like to hear a reporter say, "I’m sorry senator, but that is simply not true"

Imagine if they just subsidized newspapers and magazines the way they’re subsidizing this slop

I used to live across the street from there. If I left and came home during brunch service I’d have to park on the other side of the neighborhood

"Don't follow illegal orders" would be more meaningful if Democrats had prosecuted literally any of the prominent war criminals of the last 30 years instead of, you know, fucking campaigning with them

They just keep coming up with newer and better ways to destroy the planet even faster

She was overcome by the power of the holy spirits and asked jesus to take the wheel

Exorcist: I'm here to remove the demon that has possessed you Me: I didn't call you Demon: I did

if u say that you don’t like “dragula” by rob zombie, my assumption is that you’re lying. if not to me, then to yourself

One of the first 'minerals' I added to my collection

People staying 6+ feet away from me. Not having to make excuses for not wanting to socialize. No hand shaking.

Several Republican members of Congress have said that they are retiring to spend more time with other people's children.

I wish my face wasn't all "Please come and talk to me, stranger".

Over 40? Drop a selfie

live in the present, hide in a box until xmas

I love watching people laugh. And cops pepper spraying themselves

Brb. Gonna gouge out my eyeballs with a rusty spoon

For 4 years we were told that Biden could only do so much because he was limited by the powers of the executive. But for the last 10 months trump has been waddling around doing whatever the fuck he wants and no one is standing in his way

[observing someone’s obsessive passion project] wow i really like whatever’s wrong with that guy

Hey hi let us not forget that both Noah Schnapp and Bret Gelman are loud proud zionists and we shouldn’t be watching stranger things

A mind like a steel trap; empty and rusted shut

I’ll go first— no.

You’ve got to be a real fucked up piece of fucking garbage to have me siding with pierce fucking morgan