Our baby Cosmo sharing a moment with his tante @muellershewrote.com. Love. 🫶🏻

In May, I’m planning to do a lil’ booze break to lose a few pounds before it gets swamp ass hot. This means I’ll be exploring NA wines in all its hilariousness. Most suck. Let’s find some that don’t.

Katie Porter just gave a really good answer on whether law enforcement should give English proficiency tests to truck drivers on the side of the road. She dismantled Bianco’s assertion that racism and racial profiling is something people should “get over.”

Is Mercury in the microwave? None of my tech is being cool today.

Hey Bluesky. I just posted my first article on Substack. And this makes my first Bluesky post. Check it out and share it if you like Let the games begin. 🙃 www.therealmccabe.com/p/kash-patel...

The FBI Director, the DC US Attorney, and the Secretary of Defense walk into a bar. Apparently like every day.

Watching Paradise with @muellershewrote.com. Why did no one tell us (strongly enough) how DELICIOUS Japanese whisky is? WOW. Wow. 2oz Japanese whisky .25oz brown sugar syrup 2 dashes orange bitters 2 dashes ango bitters Garnish with an orange twist

Lookit my beautiful friend, @muellershewrote.com (and her objectively excellent branding 😂)

When you go nose-in on a new glass of wine to get the aromas, but your pour is too generous.

So. Tired. Why not criminals if criminal shaped?

I’ll have what Hungary’s having.

Watching middle aged women attempt to land Hot Dog & Chicken after 2 bottles of wine is my favorite thing. @muellershewrote.com @mandyreeder.bsky.social

Happy Easter. My mimosa is risen.

I found 20 quid outside the supermarket and I felt a little bit guilty as I picked it up, so because it’s Good Friday I thought to myself, “What would Jesus do?”. So I turned it into wine...

Alexa: “this is a reminder: take your wine out of the freezer!” Me: “Alexa, thank you.” Alexa: “The is the perfect amount of time to chill your white wine w/o slushing your vino or busting the glass! Enjoy that wine. Cheers!” First, thank you. Second, that’s too many words, robot woman.

I’ve been busy today, but I wanted to take a moment to acknowledge Trans Day of Visibility. Some of my deepest loves and friends are trans, and I, a staunch ally. Trans lives matter. Trans rights are human rights. And I love the dolls so goddamn much. 🏳️‍⚧️🫶🏻

Who still knows me from early 00’s? Or even earlier? I started an html only blog at joellapalooza and then became tenth-muse with Movable Type, then pMachine, then Expression Engine, then WordPress. Say hi! I might not recognize you now. ☺️

I love my Trans framily. 🏳️‍⚧️🫶🏻

Trans Day of Visibility is tomorrow. #TDOV #ProtectTheDolls

“My Demented Friend Joelle Has Thoughts” – the podcast I’ve given @muellershewrote.com permission to produce should I lose my mind first.

I'm inheriting some wine from a family friend that passed away. One of them is a 2015 Caves Saint-Pierre Châteauneuf-du-Pape Le Fiacre du Pape. I'll be pouring one out for you, Paul, but it'll have to be into my glass. 🍷🕊️

Watching a reel, the audio says “…with their company, which spans back to the 1990’s…” Spans.

I watched two lizards chase each other around my patio until the male cornered her and did a whole dance of pushups and tail shaking. She was literally like this the entire time. Word.

Nobody cares if you’re proudly staying home this Saturday, and your pouty demobilization bullshit is tired.

You only need to press you car lock button once. Just once. Beep. Just the one time. Thank you. You fucking moron.

Watching the @glaad.bsky.social Media Awards on Hulu. It looks so much more ginormous on TV, even though it is quite a large space in person. We were over there somewhere. 😂

My wife is eating Raisinettes like she’s the one who is 52. She’s 36, but she swears it’s cool in Canada.

Hey, look at my dog, Cosmo. He is the most glorious demon on earth.

Happy Nowruz 🇮🇷 to those who celebrate! 🍎🧄🪾🌱🍧🫒🍷

We’re going to have a better day today, kids. I’m ordering it from the universe like a pizza. I’ll take one good day, please. With ranch.

“Canada and the US are like two siblings from the same mother, but one has a PhD and the other has a man cave.” – my Canadian wife 😂

Is Mercury in the microwave or whatever? Today is fucky.

I actually received a check. I'm CERTAIN it's a fake, it's all over the place. Send from some biz in IN, check from a diff biz in NJ, Bank of WTF or something. I deposited it in my savings account where there is no in/out activity and will see what happens, but I fully expect it to bounce.

I think I want to start a tiny library that is stocked with used books I used to read as a kid/preteen/YA like Judy Blume and Paula Danziger. And I want it to also have books about all kinds of families and people, like I’m Different and That’s Okay, or My Hair is Magic!

I’m here to inform you that Sun Goddess Orange Pinot Grigio by Mary J. Blige is fantastic. I assumed it would go the way of Bon Jovi’s Hampton Water, but it’s really delicious & I’m sad I didn’t buy another bottle. Pinot Grigio, but on the dry side, which I prefer. It’s so good. Don’t tell anyone. 😉

This is my boyfriend. 💗

One of our oldest n’ dearest is in town this weekend. Today I took her to the @birchaquarium.bsky.social for the ACNH event. They may want to rethink their tide pool petting infographic.

Too true, @lizaboth.bsky.social

Has Joe Rogan apologized yet?

I missed Girl Scout Cookies this year.

Web dev folks, be on the lookout. I got this guy, too. Allegedly I'm awaiting a check (complete with tracking number! they're upping their detail game), but we all know that won't appear and if it does, they'll want me to do some shenanigans with it. Nope. Sit on it, Potsie.

Hey, that’s me! 😂

I’ve decided I’m taking back “TREMENDOUS!” as an exclamation. The tangerine toupee does not own it and I picked it up from Janeane Garofalo in the 90’s. So I’m bringin’ it back.

Today, on International Women's Day, I, a human woman, want you to know there is a type of sea cucumber called the Headless Chicken Monster

So that happened! We had so much fun last night. Thank you @muellershewrote.com & @mswmedia.com for making it happen. We are so proud to be part of such an amazing, Webby-award winning, GLAAD-nominated badass podcast. ❤️

Amber Glen is here! ⛸️🥇

My wife ran into Francois Arnaud in the bathroom and nearly died of fangirling. 😂 #GLAADawards

Having the best night! Met so many people, incl the gorgeous ladies @mizzwelch.bsky.social & @pumpspumpspumps.bsky.social, and even got to chat with folks from Abbott Elementary! All have been so nice; I’m most proud of our @mswmedia.com girls, @muellershewrote.com & @dgcomedy.bsky.social. ❤️

Hello from the GLAAD Awards!

Is *ANYONE* watching #DropsofGod on Apple? It's so good. Not only is it really dishy & intriguing, it's beautifully shot, I'm learning about wine, and I am picking up a little Japanese & French in the process. I'd love to watch more multilingual shows structured this way. 🙏 for S3.