Most of you are plenty old enough to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the anti-bed lady is a fool who will wake up one day with her neck against her shoulder and discover a real scam called “chiropractors”

Such a shame she missed the first generation of Bluesky dot com. This is absolutely somebody who would be a Bluesky elder, telling people 'uh, sweaty, this isn't the hellsite - we caption pictures here' then everyone's like 'YOU TRIED TO MURDER SOMEBODY FOR SLENDERMAN'.

So many people need to throw their phones in the toilet. Bring back landlines so that friends and loved ones can make sure you’re not dead. There should be devices that just do email, like a Jitterbug for screen dopes

boxofficega.me July 17, 1998 ✅ 125 ✅ 165 ✅ 165 ✅ 165 ✅ 125 ➕ 160 🏆 905

Death By Lightning got me thinking about Biden. Arthur was a weak president, but he met the unstoppable force of The Historical Moment and became moveable; Biden was like Hoover and leaned his desiccated shoulder into that boulder, cursing us all

Noirs should be meaner

I knew from opening day that history would vindicate my adoration for HAIL, CAESAR

I reviewed HAIL, CAESAR!, an underappreciated gem in the Coens' filmography. A film about the place of the cinema and Hollywood in the debased, ridiculous American pantheon. www.patreon.com/posts/144188...

an extremely weird man

While you all were engaged in the usual jibber jabber of this website I was eating squid ink linguine

don't threaten me with a really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really good time

Is it good for your Oscar’s campaign if everyone looks at your movie and go “wow these women are dying”

“Dick Cheney put country over party, he wasn’t anything like Bush” blah blah blah block block block

rfk jr getting ready to steal your girl with his sex poetry

Vulture Cinematrix No. 605: Nov 21, 2025 I got 9/9 Correct Score: 2484 🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩 Play at: vulture.com/vulturecinem...

big bugs bunny getting elmer fudd to marry him vibes in the white house currently i see

hmmm

It should be healthy to eat an absurd amount of cheese

In Oakland, CA on a hot July Sunday in 1983, 20,000 baseball fans watched the Rangers and the A’s take a 5-5 tie deep into extra innings. At the top of the 15th, the Rangers set the MLB record for largest extra-innings score differential by bringing home 12 runs.

Rolling out the Matt Christman quote from after Charlottesville (2017) again:

Saw a picture of Elon Musk with his stupid dick shoes so I’m gonna go read a book

I would love to hear from the Maserati dealer who sold a car to a 26-year-old MAGA Jersey Girl, I’m guessing the interest is well into the double digits

Saw a physiotherapist yesterday about some rotator cuff pain and it turns out I am a 39-year-old man who does not understand posture

100% forgot that ANORA won Cannes, they are simply weird as hell over there and it should be none of our business

What if instead of arbitrarily anointing Gavin Newsom the Hero of the Left you arbitrarily anoint me instead

Wicked4Güd is in the 70s on rotten tomatoes and its very normal and well-adjusted fans are handling this data point with the indifference it deserves

There’s a solid episode around the time of the movie where Marge suffers temporary amnesia and cannot for the life of her believe that she’d ever marry this catastrophic oaf claiming to be her husband

When I’m in charge it will be illegal to be out in public if you now or ever have been named “Markwayne”

One Thousand Year Burgerreich

squirrel: *points gun* me: what do you want me to do? squirrel: *gestures at sign* me: alright, i get it *opens book drop* squirrel: *makes hurry-up motion* me: NOT A SQUIRREL! squirrel: *disappears into book drop* me: *whispers* forgive me, keith

Quick question: what the fuck is anyone talking about anymore

H to the gotdang izz-O, V to the gotdang izz-A

boxofficega.me June 22, 2018 ✅ 165 ✅ 165 ✅ 125 ✅ 125 ✅ 125 ➕ 180 🏆 885

As usual I would like to know nuzzing about it

boxofficega.me February 21, 1997 ✅ 200 ✅ 200 ✅ 85 ✅ 85 ✅ 165 ➕ 200 🏆 935

The original caption I saw said “Quiet. Quiet. Begin,” but I knew what I heard

"Teaching obligations" are for renters with sixty students and a 2014 Honda, not old Ivy League perverts who are afraid to retire

If students use ChatGPT they’ll never recreate the “Professor Whats His Nuts” incident that got me written about in the Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader (2019)

women are always saying “lord grant me the confidence of a mediocre man.” ok well he did. now what. is the world a better place? look at what you’ve wrought.

¡Para allá! ¿No para allá? ¡Gracias!

Death By Lightning is just my brand of stupid, a confetti gun of pulpy nonsense for those who know that Chester Arthur is maybe the funniest oaf to ever occupy the Oval Office

The MTG pivot is a good dragnet for identifying the most gullible people in all of mankind. Also, it's cross-political. You can identify the easiest marks left, right, and center here. A very easy, inoffensive, diverse way to identify our society's finest wallet inspector customers

This is a new low from a govt plumbing the depths of performative cruelty in hopes that the public won’t notice they have no answers to the real issues facing this country A sensible, humane govt would focus on safe routes to prevent people making dangerous small boat crossings

November 2028: Marjorie Taylor Greene loses all eight swing states to JD Vance by a total margin of 5,700 votes

Vulture Cinematrix No. 600: Nov 16, 2025 I got 9/9 Correct Score: 2563 🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩 Play at: vulture.com/vulturecinem...