i don't mean to single out baseball fans here, because you see this in lots of fan communities, but in certain corners people talk as though baseball is real. they think all the players are real people and the stadiums are places you can actually visit. to each their own, but that cannot be healthy

I get that the news cycle is packed right now, but I just heard from a colleague at the Smithsonian that this is fully a GIANT SQUID BEING EATEN BY A SPERM WHALE and it’s possibly the first ever confirmed video according to a friend at NOAA 10 YEAR OLD ME IS LOSING HER MIND (a thread 🧵)

“The tent” proudly joins the strike zone, the plane of the end zone, and the cylinder above the hoop as an utterly imaginary concept that dorks and idiots alike get to argue about online for all eternity

Old BlueSky was funny because if you were like a mildly attractive millennial who posted 6/10 jokes then you were treated as a pillar in the community and got to live like a minor feudal lord until the masses inevitably hanged you in the town square

Every pundit who took at face value the idea that the Right sincerely cares about free speech, or ideological diversity, or in fact has any principles at all, should be wearing a dunce cap and writing a lengthy mea culpa right now. Not for our catharsis but for public awareness at least

They're openly saying they want to sacrifice LGBTQ people and the planet to appease fascists. This is not only a losing strategy, this is morally repugnant. Every single one of these people should be ashamed, but we know they won't because they are amoral sociopaths.

In a move that surprises no one, the “Paper of Record” uncritically ran a piece of right-wing agitprop in the name of balance and civility

Weird how this is always go to Jupiter or live in the center of the earth but not “everyone has a good union job and healthcare”, like that’s the thing that is believing in unicorns

Will you post one more take and risk getting canceled? Or take home the clout you've already won?

DC comics planting their flag on the moral high ground on the side of a white nationalist, transphobe while dutifully carrying on his rotten work in the firing of Gretchen Felker-Martin. The characters of the DC universe would find this despicable.

Pivoted so hard they affected the earth's rotation

whoever there decided that steven crowder was a reliable source and stuck with that story for nearly 24 hours after it was already debunked needs to have some sort of accountability

the wsj coverage of the shooter might be one of the worst and most irresponsible handlings of a story i’ve witnessed in the last 10 years

hi, cis folks! the WSJ endangered trans lives with false reporting yesterday. it’s still accepted as truth by many, regardless of it being false. the article’s still up with a little note. it needs full retraction. it's not even a phone call—it's email. you can do this. contact info below.🧵⬇️

did a little media criticism www.theverge.com/politics/777...

All two black Buttigieg supporters are VERY disappointed by this.

A lot of lone nuts with no coherent political philosophy seem to be very closely related to one specific political philosophy

[the shooter is unidentified] the left must be purged with the sword [the shooter is, again, a compulsive masturbator who loved Hitler] I believe it was pascal who said that the heart has reasons that reason may not know

Discovering computer as an adult makes you go crazy. Discovering computer as a baby makes you go crazy. In all of human history, there will only ever be one generation to discover computer at the correct age: 13

The problem with every post-Millennial generation is they got to go straight to high speed internet. Of course you'll get computer madness that way. Make them start with those old screeching modems and work their way up

I don’t use Twitter bc if I wanted to see a bunch of neckless freaks say slurs then I’d just take the train to Boston

I know jumping to politically-advantageous conclusions is just what we do now, but its still striking how many right wing folks have immediately jumped to "violent leftist," as if there hasn't been a sustained, decadelong hate campaign against Charlie Kirk from those to his right.

folks,

You know how transphobes say “they can always tell” when someone is trans bc they, as transphobes, believe strongly that someone’s birth sex will inevitably reveal itself in specific ways that adhere to their bigotry? People who think they can judge someone’s race off rip are doing the same thing.

football szn baby

When you think about it, every bad thing anyone has ever done is in the past, so really who are we to judge?

west

I debated writing this. It can feel tempting, upon encountering yet another instance of this administration’s racism, to let it be. How many ways can you say the same thing over and over again? And yet we have to write it down, if for nothing else, so those who come after us know we were against it.

they shouldn’t even be allowed to call themselves “third way.” don’t insult anal like that.

South Park just dropped the nuclear bomb on Trump. They drew him with poop on his head and called him a frickin poopy head. Sayonara, Donald

things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room and you only went in there sometimes

On the train

Hahahahahahahaha How The Fuck Is Gooning Real Hahahaha Nigga Just Bust A Nut Like Nigga Cum Already Haha

A sweet old lady wrote me to ask if I would help her out by signing off Jeopardy! every night saying "Don't forget your night medicine, my friends." I am actively considering this.

The Democratic Party leadership does not believe in the legitimacy of their own party’s primary for the largest city in the USA because they’re Islamophobic and anti-Arab racists who believe Mamdani is an illegitimate upstart who was not supposed to win. They are anti-democratic, in short.

This guy's a vet and a lawyer who threw a sandwich and offered to turn himself in, so they sent a paramilitary platoon with a camera crew. They have FBI and U.S. Marshal badges; apparently those agencies do no real work beyond camera stunts, harassing minorities, and filling concentration camps.

I have never thought of killing myself less than when I was consistently medicated

sometimes when you're very overdue on doing laundry, your only shirts available are your worst shirt, for obvious reasons, and your favorite shirt, which you have reserved in case of emergency. this is known as the Launderer's Paradox and may result in you wearing your favorite shirt to walgreens

i hope kelgore trout is doing well

I would rather you drive to DC to commit actual crimes than post this

I just wanna congratulate everyone on my flight on their first time ever deboarding a plane, it was really lovely to watch

I have four times as many followers as posts so that means each of you get to print out FOUR AND NO MORE THAN FOUR of my posts to put on your fridge. Once a post is claimed no one else can take it. It’s like an NFT in that way

Ephebophile, you say? Well I have a-fucking-gun how about that?

a university is not for generating profit, it provides cultural enrichment via weird little gremlin people who love visigoths or haikus, and very occasionally a scientist who figures out faster than light travel

Great week for people who are like once I saw a black person, therefore it’s time for martial law

Me when my skeet flops: THIS WEB SITE IS DYING

Bill is awful and should have been summarily ejected from any position of influence years ago if the cost of taking down Trump is losing Bill Clinton I take that deal any day of the week and twice on sunday

@spacelawshitpost.me Got two in the vortex rn if you wanna peep

Sorry but personally if a miniature horse woke me up from anesthesia by banging out nonsense on a miniature keyboard it would send me into a liminal space between life and death from which I would never return