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[longest, deepest breath in the entire world] i’m at juuuuuuuury duuuuuuuuty

maybe our lord and savior arose from the grave on the third day because he really wanted to crack open a cold one with the boys

i’m about to animorph into a periodical cicada so i can sleep for 17 years and then just wake up and scream and die

you can put any pictures you want in a locket! throw in a snapshot of a cold can of miller lite, beautiful

fool me once, please don’t do that. fool me twice, c’mon man not again, i asked nicely

at this point all i have to do is look at a pillow wrong and it will hurt my neck

ready or not 3: you didn’t close your eyes all the way when you were counting, you’re cheating, i’m telling mom

blackberries really are that bitch

I reviewed Lio Min’s debut Beating Heart Baby, a queer YA romance set in perhaps the most intense high school marching band in Los Angeles.

woke up to this text from my wife this morning

"Spend time with people who seem glad to see you." This is actually a life philosophy @kristenarnett.bsky.social lithub.com/am-i-the-ass...

Am I the asshole for trying to pitch editors and agents at crowded AWP parties? @kristenarnett.bsky.social answers this and your other awkward questions.

Maybe @kristenarnett.bsky.social will throw me a friday the 13th bone and reshare my essay about heteronormativity & Paula Cole's "Where Have All The Cowboys Gone" which has 120 minutes left to make up a 48 point difference for @marchxness.bsky.social ...

once again, happy friday the 13th to all who celebrate

precious memories

a wine tasting happens every time you drink it

see you tomorrow, AWP

when i was a tiny baby a witch put a curse on me to put curses on other tiny babies that will eventually make them put curses on even more tiny babies

and for the lady, perhaps a butch?

This one is 🔥 🔥🔥 @kristenarnett.bsky.social. I love when the answer to AITA is a resounding YES. Especially in a books context #booksky lithub.com/am-i-the-ass...

“Am I the asshole for preferring adaptations to the original books?” And other questions answered this week by @kristenarnett.bsky.social.

Don't be fooled by this bill's name-- this is a book banning bill that will exclude LGBTQ books from all public schools NATIONWIDE. Call your congresspeople and tell them to VOTE NO on this nakedly bigoted book banning bullshit. www.congress.gov/bill/119th-c...

you can have shrimp cocktail for lunch any day of the week, just go for it brother

do i have a favorite podcast? yes, it’s called listening to my wife

happy seven year anniversary to the time I drunkenly slid into kayla’s DMs, now we are married and she can never get rid of me

hell yeah florida

we’ll always have bad bunny

writing a frankly harmful novel

feeling angry or depressed? why not fix yourself a cup of tea? then you can be angry and depressed while also holding a cup of tea

let’s all go around the room and list how the groundhog has personally harmed us

heated rivalry implies the existence of a chilled harmony

So much love for @moonpalacebooks.bsky.social

voir dire, she wrote

“what are the creatures pronouns” - me in a sci-fi movie

Every winter, our library staff gather their #BestBooks of the year so we can share them with you. The list for 2025 was massive 😱 Check out the list on our website and maybe try Librarian Marten's favorite book of 2025! It's "Stop Me if You've Heard This One" by @kristenarnett.bsky.social 🙌

mad scientist? probably just needs a snack and a quick lil nap

Am I the asshole for crushing on my editor? @kristenarnett.bsky.social answers this and more of your pleas for literary advice.

overheard the bartender at the airport bar telling someone to just get blackout before getting on the plane because “life will feel shorter and more compressed that way” and honestly she’s not wrong

“i want back my rocking chairs, / solipsist sunsets, / & coastal jungle sounds...” A poem by Renee Nicole Good, who was murdered by ICE earlier today. lithub.com/renee-nicole...

(bob seger voice) night newts

through all the madness, chaos and grief, hearing @kristenarnett.bsky.social name-checked on Seth Meyers last night during a bit felt a spot of light in the dark,

EXCUSE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

if i were a horse i would live it up, eating twelve apples at a time, mane glorious as fuck, kicking up my hooves like a damn diva

what a year huh dot gif

i am running into a new year

happy new beer

spent 2025 in love with my wife and am planning a repeat performance for 2026

They say imitation crab is the sincerest form of crab

a beautiful and alluring fragrance called mambo no. 5