Doing real alpha male stuff today. Chugging a pre workout, hitting the gym, slamming two protein shakes, and then going to watch the talking sheep movie that people say makes men cry in the theater

They gave him an award and called him an environmental activist lmaooo

Flavor Flav is cool as fuck and has been for like 4 decades now. The only thing he could do to top this? Get me and the wife tickets out and a hotel so we can come too.

I can’t stand glib shit like this. A photo of carefully arranged seashells killed my gramgram and the slapdick lifeguard crew messed up the chain of evidence, so they’re still out on the beach somewhere just waiting for their next victim.

10 bucks x 8 for every Natty won by OU Softball and Women's Gymnastics over the last five years. Sometimes even if you can't run the damn ball, you can still smash it over the batter's eye in dead center. @newap-georgia.bsky.social @edsbs.bsky.social

KD may be an asshole for saying his teammates are ass on his burner, but he wasn’t wrong!

"I was ABSOLUTELY told that the Democrats would be bringing knives to the gun fight. What the fuck are they doing bringing guns?" --a whole lot of Republicans looking at the results from Virginia right now

It’s inaccurate to say Mario is brave and Luigi is cowardly Luigi is afraid of death, so he runs away from danger. Mario is afraid of living, so he runs towards death. Both brothers are cowards in their own way

you shouldn’t learn about bands from shady TikTok manipulation, you should learn about bands by hanging out with a girl you like but are also extremely afraid of

Office Random Record Rating Tales of the Great Rum Runners, Robert Hunter 5/10

Office Random Record Rating Caribbean Guitar, Chet Atkins 7/10

ALL BALL

Fouling up three with less than 24 seconds in the game gotta be three free throws. Austin Reaves saved us all from anticlimactic tedium #nba

The Onion Film Standard: Oscars 2026

Tried to upload to Patreon a little while back but it refused. 😔 Watched dumb Stranger Things finale. Couldn't stop cackling "wiki-wiki-wild" because of giant wasteland spider. Synced one beat to the action and watched IN HORROR as it continued to match PERFECTLY. I AM COMPELLED TO SHARE THE PAIN.

🚨 I need you to know I’m dead serious about the LUGE RELAY! One of the most underrated events: 🔘 One shot per team, no heats 🔘 Continuous start: One sled slaps a gate at the bottom and the next starts 🔘 Men and women 🔘 USA has a medal chance 🔘 Starts at 12:30, no excuses Tell em @thekenchilds.com

LET’S CAP OFF THE SEASON WITH DOINK COMPILATION ONE DOINKING MOMENT FOR 2025

DJ Durkin may be responsible for the death of one of the players he was supposed to protect, but if you're trying to build a football program, how can you overlook a man responsible for Zero winning seasons as a head coach

EGG BRAWL

Good morning to Brazilian reporter Manuela Borges, who’s been waiting eleven years for this petty moment. ❤️ 🇧🇷

OU-Missouri is like watching somebody get strangled

Tim Kaine is a worthless pussy and I’ll never vote for him again.

BREAKING: Colorado voters approved a ballot measure that would raise state income taxes on higher-earning households to fund free meals for all public school students. Follow AP for live updates.

Every single county in Virginia shifted Blue.

What a great fucking basketball game. This season is going to be amazing #thunderup #nba

Hey at least Mario has two timeouts left though

I think this means Indiana is like 100 points better than USC

The football tournament has really robbed this OSU-Texas game of any drama. It’s cool if your team wins but if you lose it means nothing. It’s not even close to how the 2006 version felt.

Better than every Civil War reenactment ever

if you are questioning your gender simply ask if you want to have fun or are back in town

I can’t remember if I posted this one but who cares I should post it every day

WALKOFF - Oklahoma's Ella Parker hits a 3 run HR to beat Tennessee

Finally we’ll be able to supersize the Eucharist

Did the home clock operator just get the Pistons an out of bounds????

I’m not sure who the author is (someone with @reaperminiatures.bsky.social ?) but I loved this little book. Can’t wait to put paint to mini and try some new things

Lakers look fat (Luka) and old (Lebron)

3 fouls in the first half, 15 in the first 9 minutes of the second. My single least favorite thing about college hoops. "We're halfway through the game, so let's completely change the rules now!"

Mark Henry has a son who is now a DT at OU. What sort of physical reaction does an S&C coach have when he hears his job is to get the son of the strongest man in the world as huge as possible? My money is on priapism plus uncontrollable vomiting. @edsbs.bsky.social

I’m in favor of defunding @pbs.org , but only because they blur the butts in my Danish tv show. When the butt cut is released, I shall withdraw my protests.

Carson Beck woulda got worked too

Man, UGA got ass-whipped all day. Don’t show that walk-on and act like that was the turning point.

lol that was worse than the PI they did call. Way to keep it fair boys!

All of Britain has a group chat where they make up names like “Rosemary Tonks” to see if credulous Americans will believe they’re real. Not today, Nigella. Not today.

I love how all gospel songs are just like “yeah life is tough but one day it won’t be…when I die” LMAOOOOOOO

SIMPLY HAVING A