So you know potholes Where does the tarmac go 🤔

So like right Emerald Fennells next work is going to be a reboot or a film musical, and it’s going to be a reboot film musical of Casablanca Right

William Shatner is releasing a heavy metal album at 94

These Enid Blyton novels are getting out of hand

Why is it “can I confirm” when it’s not my responsibility to confirm? Can you confirm for me the thing you’ve got wrong thanks?? Hatred

My order has been processed 👁️👄👁️

For any meagre benefits coming out from LLMs, why must be the consequences be so horrendously dire

I knew I had seen a similar thing somewhere before Labour is a far right party

I’m not an annoying gay because I’m beautiful and perfect

Love new Scrubs Not sure how many reboots/revivals/continuations I can handle where the main cast are resisting the ageing process But also the first episode made me cry so immaterial really

Bevved but don’t like that my shirt is not representing how snatched I feel

Horrid

Why are students singing Papaoutai outside my flat

Turn the heating off

In shock news, motorists have switched to public transport to avoid paying the Oxford Congestion Charge. A spokesperson* said: "This is exactly what was meant to happen, and it did."

Maybe this time I’ll win

What if Trumps foreign policy is to annoy Rachel Reeves specifically

This IPSO adjudication against the Telegraph is quite something Confirms their story titled: ‘We earn £345k, but soaring private school fees mean we can’t go on five holidays’ was completely fabricated, with the family involved non-existent and stock pictures used www.ipso.co.uk/rulings/0210...

Looking slightly nervously at these developments given our electricity prices are particularly sensitive to changes in the price of natural gas, which has already shot up 42% today...

Worth it

Taken moments before disaster (stepped outside)

I am nearly 31 years of age

Do I do this to myself

Are events happening??

Why did I book opticians at 5pm, do I not love myself

My alarm set itself off twice since coming home- reasonably confident I’ve fixed it but watch this skeet to see if I skeet myself alive in the middle of the night

the Labour party trying to paint a picture of why you shouldn't vote Green and it's "everyone will take drugs all the time and also engage in fundamentalist Islam" of course people voted for that, it's Dune. you've invented Dune!

This 'correction' from @lewisgoodall.com regarding accusations from Reform and the Conservatives that the Greens engaged in sectarianism, deserves to be widely read. #c4news

I got that dawg in me

take a star trek episode and replace one word in the title with “bitch” (or “bitches”). Looking for Bitches in All the Wrong Places

Game mechanic for Gen 10 is in titles: Wind (fart) and Waves (bubbles from fart)

u fuckin wot mate

guys, these are the people you’re supposed to be *winning back to Labour*, I don’t think saying “oh they’re all either rubes or reactionaries” is a great play

🏝️

Incredible creatures

Adding this to my file labelled “2015-2019 was an anomaly and we are now speedrunning Pasokification”

Keir Starmer was mid centristgooning when a group of Greens came and spiked his Cortisol levels 😭 Is Ignoring the Greens while munting and mogging Reform more useful then SMV primeministerfishing in the club?

RIP to a real one

If there’s one thing I miss about Twitter is dunking on sad racist losers like Matt Goodwin and sure it only got 1 or 2 likes but I had greater satisfaction of knowing there was a good chance that they saw me call them a cunt

And Matt Goodwin who DID NOT win

obviously today is a huge embarrassment for Matt Goodwin and for Reform, which is something that we absolutely ought to celebrate, but we must also remember it's a huge embarrassment for Morgan McSweeney and Maurice Glasman and all the Blue Labour weirdos, and that's important to celebrate too :)

Selfishly, could the Greens now properly turn their attention to Liverpool? If they can do that in Manchester then they can do that here. I do not want Reform in my area

if you’re a Labour person, you should be angry with everyone who brought us here and angrier still with those minimising it angry with those who blocked burnham, angry with mcsweeney (still), angry with mandelson, angry with labour first (third) and fuming w/ starmer and reeves