What the fuck is an imperial pint???

goooood morning

Okay, bed, cuz the holiday is tomorrow for me 🦃

Gummy kicked in

I FORGOT THE BEAUJOLAIS NOUVEAU

I've been standing baking for hours and maybe I should chop some stuff for tomorrow but I think instead it's time for a 6th glass of wine

My dealer complimented my new couch 💅

Just fucked up a gravy, taking it extremely personally

Was not expecting this blatant xenophobia on my tv first thing in the morning...

The fines for carrying out what?

You're not working out your back enough unless your crack goes allllll the way up.

Did you know that because it's Thanksgiving we must officially hit play on Kelly Clarkson's Wrapped In Red and can legally never play anything else for 30 days?

Good MORNING girls, it's time to bake 🥧

An old friend from home is fitness influencing a little too close to the sun and is now trying to talk me out of eating every dessert available during thanksgiving like it's a bad thing

Is the entire Bad Bunny album acceptable christmas music

Already buying tickets for lgbt summer 2026, twirling to house music and 11pm sunsets can't come soon enoughhhhhhh

ELPHABA and GLINDA will return SUMMER 2027 in SINNERS 2

Delivery guy who is 4 hours (!!!) late is adding to my holiday anxiety

Dreaming about your ex all by yourself, handsome?

my ADHD has manufactured 4 simultaneous crises in my home

MAMDANI: And I just think that there are barriers, barricades, to helping Americans that we can break down TRUMP: Uh huh MAMDANI: And breaking down barriers? Reminds me of a certain Broadway show *smiling widely* where they worked together to break a barricade? TRUMP: *sitting bolt upright* Phantom

if i posted photos of someone like this my partner would be texting me with a link to the tweet accompanied solely with “?”

I see the pheromones that charming, moustached, dark haired, handsome, eloquent men have work on trump the same way they work relentlessly on me

Well that was fucking incredible. He cast a charm spell on the most odious man alive.

The would put Germany in command of U.S. forces, including nuclear weapons, deployed in Europe. Which probably indicates the Trump Administration envisions there being none.

God bless soup season

As a hung democrat, I —

This is an argument only made by people who've never been to DC, have only been to DC on tourist trips, or are cynically appealing to people who don't know DC is substantially larger than just the monumental core, which DC statehood plans always carve out to remain a federal district.

Readers I regret to inform you that I was wrong.

Nvidia earnings in an hour, what sorts of bets should we place - does the economy exist tomorrow at 930am? Will we still have to go to work?

I hate Outlook and I hate that all my coworkers refuse to just use Teams for communication!!!!

Finally, a suitcase for my massive hog

When thanksgiving approaches I tend to update my gay Christmas playlist because I like to have it running during dinner and I just hit play on Kylie's new one and it is TERRIBLE. Any other pop girlies releasing Christmas bangers this year?

"No no you see he said PEGGY" - them, soon, probably

Happy to be of service.

First day back reminding me why I just took a monthlong vacation 😐

Somehow my jetlag has reversed itself and I woke up at 430 which makes no SENSE

Failed the "don't fall asleep when you get home from a long trip" test

This is the first post that loaded when I opened tumblr this morning

A friend just posted a screenshot of him taking TWELVE back and forth flights between Houston and Austin in order to maintain his United status for next year and I would like us to collectively bully him

I have reached the end of my trip 🥹 Mexico was a delight and the nostalgia factor of NYC hit hard, but I'm ready to go home and be in my own bed again

I went to the eagle for the first time and had a blast but BOY are these nyc boys both hot and intimidating 🥵

GOOD morning new YORK

Home for a bit 😙

I think voters at large will very likely have trouble remembering details of chuck schumer selling out the aca by nov 2026. also I think in the next three months you're gonna see a lot of unlikely folks stopping by the dsa table at various no kings events

I'm just so angry.

More than 15 Senate Democrats join GOP to advance nationwide ban on hemp products, including CBD gummies,