Finally!! I just went 82-0, think you can go 82-0? www.82-0.com/share?id=j02...

This is the guy who will be turning the full power of the American intelligence apparatus on trump’s political enemies.

Abrego Garcia should apply for compensation from the weaponization fund

CLIENT: These federal charges seem serious. What kind of sentence could I get? LAWYER: Depending on the next presidential election, you're looking at somewhere between life imprisonment and becoming a millionaire.

The Celtics will now play Game 3 on Amazon Prime, which means they will have played on ABC, Peacock and Prime in Games 1, 2 and 3, which is genuinely just completely unreasonable and unacceptable.

At my first job at a cheese store when I was 16 Tim Curry walked in. I legit didn’t know how I knew him, maybe a friend of the family? So I went “Do I know you from somewhere?” and in the most Tim Curry way he put me in my place “You know me from many things.” He didn’t say another word to me lol

Play Garza

I need TP for my bunghole!

Carr has hardly been subtle about what he appears to believe his role is in the Trump administration: threatening and sidelining those in the media who broadcast commentary or interview politicians who speak counter to the Trump administration’s agenda.

Each year there's one toy that every kid wants. Cabbage Patch Kids. Furby. Labubu... It happens every year. I'm proud to announce what will surely be the next most popular & sought after toy of 2026. The Gene Shalit action figure!

Pete "No Quarter" Hegseth is an explicit believer in the notion that warcrimes are the path to victory. Congress needs to repeal the Hague invasion act, join the ICC, and pack Hegseth into a little box to go stand trial for his crimes

Coming this October 20, 2026. New Book Available for Pre-Order in Canada: www.penguinrandomhouse.ca/books/777133... New Book Available for Pre-Order in the USA: www.amazon.com/Sorry-Were-F...

I want to watch Trump cook 1 meal and eat it with his children and wife

Once again: A) This would be handing two of Hollywood's only remaining studios to a right-wing Trump ally and his "Dad said I could have it!" son, who B) has not begun to prove that he can successfully run one studio, let alone two. An utter disaster, although in fairness, that is Zaslav's brand.

*raises hand* who's taking the ubers and where are they going

i didnt know that the annoying people in the abu dhabi commercial are famous until i saw them in another annoying commercial for a.i. shit

The White House did a dishonest y-axis so I fixed their y-axis for them, you’re welcome White House www.howtoreadthisch.art/lets-conside...

At the risk of sounding dramatic, the Giannis/Kalshi partnership - especially given the timing - is a stain on the soul of the league, and everyone involved should be investigated.

The cavs are fucking stupid lol

During the Obama administration the right wing media machine would dream up conspiracies that Obama was *thinking* about doing something like what we’re seeing now (Jade Helm, FEMA Camps, etc) and it would drive their “coverage” for weeks and months

Wow that’s wild anyway the craziest story I heard out of Minneapolis was about a nurse trying to help a woman and getting shot to death and also a five year old was used as bait and also ICE shot a woman in the face and

Rest of America watching the Patriots go to the super bowl:

A video of Alex Pretti reading out the final salute of an unnamed veteran he cared for until the end of his life in the ICU, posted to Facebook by his son.

Imagine how much they’d be lying about what happened without all the videos showing it from multiple angles.

Federal law enforcement agents shot and killed a man in Minneapolis on Jan. 24 according to local police officials. DHS told Fox News that the man was “armed with a gun”. A video of the shooting appears to show that a gun was taken from the man before the first shot was fired. x.com/BillMelugin_...

All of this is fucking senseless. Minnesota did not have an immigration problem. Trump sent his Nazi thugs here because he's racist against Somali people and to own libs like Tim Walz. Now two Minnesotans are dead and Minneapolis is on the verge of going up in flames. None. Of. This. Was. Necessary.

Average Sunday show interview: OFFICIAL: we are going to dip enemies of the state into acid vats HOST: how will you pay for it? OFFICIAL: tariffs HOST: critics say tariffs don't generate acid vat money OFFICIAL: tariffs have generated more money than has ever existed HOST: thank u for ur time

50 years ago but also today?

As long as I'm sharing Tony's non-writing work, these are two of my favorites--a birthday present he made for me in 2018. Needless to say, I treasure these.

it's so cool to say this while projecting $25bn in revenue from selling AI servers this year. it rocks

To be clear, someone probably related to a government official, did insider trading on war, made money, and quickly dumped it into the safe asset we all know and love: FartCoin

how many peoples homes are you willing to personally demolish to cut 4 minutes off your commute?

I'm sorry: I'm glad the Brown shooter has been found, but watching law enforcement officials take a victory lap and praise each other feels kinda gross? Given how the FBI messed up by leaking the name of an innocent person and that a random 48-year-old guy avoided capture for days, no time to brag

Michael Jordan Walsh. I am the first person to call him that. #celtics

If Admiral Bradley didn’t realize before that these cowards were setting him up to take the fall, he knows it now. Time to hire a good lawyer.

Demolishing the East Wing of the White House before finalizing plans for what will be built above its ruins is a near-perfect metaphor for Trump's approach to economic policy. The only difference is the wrecking crew doesn’t claim the rubble is evidence of unprecedented growth.

I wish Kevin Hart really was as small as he is in that elf commercial so I could crush him under a dictionary

Unlike some Americans, we do not forget when other countries have come to our aid: Thanks Boston! #Canada #Halifax #Boston

So it turns out... the US air travel system was incredibly, deeply dependent on federal funding to just run day-to-day all this time, to the benefit of private airline shareholders, when everyone thinks that state-run trains are leeching off the government. Weird!