So if I understand how this went, Hegseth announced that they’re going to strictly enforce small things like grooming standards but loosen up on big things like the Geneva Conventions.

So excited to do it again next week for some fucking reason.

This morning is a wild ride tbh.

Like I said…stupid.

Watching Aaron Rodgers get sacked at 6:35 am, however…delightful.

Getting up at 6:30 on a Saturday to watch football is stupid.

I call this piece “We All Choose Our Choices.”

If you’ve ever wondered whether a dill pickle flavored cucumber chip would be amazing or horrific, I’m here to tell you…yes.

If you think the tweet is bad, wait until you read the article. If you use a term like “the autism problem,” I reserve the right to believe you might be a nazi eugenicist.

Sunstein would bring his dog to school sometimes. Delightful pup but it would shit in the hallways and he’d leave it for others to clean up. He was also a fucking disaster as head of OMB. All of these things are related. Ivory tower, etc.

A fun thing to do tomorrow would be to tell the maga assholes you know that the rapture happened and, oops, the only people you know who were taken were Christians who were militant antifa.

If you’re my friend, I will be so proud of you for running a half marathon and, also, absolutely make fun of you to your face if you put a 13.1 sticker on your car.

Ball don’t lie, imo.

WILL THE FREAKIN THRILL! Will Reichard connects on the 62-yard FG before halftime.

I mean when has occupying Afghanistan ever gone wrong TWICE for someone

There’s a Dr Pepper commercial where Jerry Jones is approaching people sitting in a car and I’m fairly confident that it’s his face on an AI body and, like, way to take a scary moment (Jerry Jones approaching) and make it terrifying.

"I'm sorry... Lincoln? a play?"

The Presidents of the United States of America should change their name to The Presidents of the United States of America Except For That One Guy

It’s 2025 and the scariest college football player I’ve ever seen is making adorable TikToks with his wife

"I gotta say protect trans youth. I gotta say fuck ICE. And with my whole fucking chest, I gotta say free Palestine. Anybody watching at home, anybody walking by, you wanna know who said it, you tell em it's the mother fucking Wonder Years from Philadelphia." youtu.be/xIj2Ozlp1y8?...

Toad wrote on the ground with a stick: Go to Sleep. Then he crossed out: Go to Sleep. “There,” said Toad. “Now my day is all crossed out!” “I am glad,” said Frog. Then Frog and Toad went right to sleep.

🤷‍♀️

focus your eyes to the left in the stands lmao

Me telling the story of how i decided to throw a screen pass: yeah it was crazy My friend who once got a text from me about all Andrew van Ginkel’s interceptions on screen passes: was the Gink there?

Trump threatening to send the military to Chicago sure does add an extra layer to the whole flyover before the football game thing. Are they recruiting or attacking, whomst can say.

It's not really inconsistent if the goal of the Constitution is seen as the violent maintenance of white supremacy. which is clearly the view of the conservative majority on scotus.

the supreme court says you can never use race to help people but you can always use race to hurt people

Horrifying and unconscionable.

Yeah, that's a flag but it's also amusing

Just a FYSA, it’s Italian plum cake day in casa girlwonder.

Octobox!!

Does anyone want to see my new deck? I like it very much. (Please note that the handrail on the steps will be stained to match so don’t judge.)

The feminine urge to rip transphobes apart, limb from limb.

A Clockwork Orange Ludivico Technique but for forcing people to watch Schoolhouse Rock.

Tell Bugs Bunny to get the chainsaw ready.

The feminine urge to find and join a fantasy football league at the last minute.

I will always remember where I was when I learned that Taylor and Travis got engaged because it was when someone else in the massive zoom meeting I was in didn’t realize they weren’t muted (their camera was off) and yelled “OMG Tay Tay and Travis are engaged!”

Next time I’m on a roadtrip and the highway signs for a Starbucks direct me to one in a Safeway I reserve the right to commit acts of violence and destruction

Praise god, Vladimir Guerrero Sr. has finally returned from the war.

FYSA: buttered popcorn with a healthy sprinkling of Trader Joe’s Chili Crisp seasoning blend is a very good snack.

JD Vance Booed  By Own Reflection  In Mirror theonion.com/jd-vanc...

get in sluts we’re popping mood elevators

If you are a white person living in DC, you need to harass these motherfuckers like it’s your job. Yell at them. Shame them for being a part of a fascist regime. Take videos of them. Throw subs at them!

I really hope future law school classes get to use this as an example of jury nullification.

My God! There was a submarine attack on Washington, D.C?

The doctor just stopped by pre-procedure wearing a backpack and a straw hat and I’m wondering if it’s too late to cancel.

You’d think by now they’d have discovered a better way to take a look at your colon than making you eat nothing but bone broth and lime jello for two days and then sedating you while sticking a camera up your ass but, then again, I’m no doctor.

Cackling while reading an archeologist’s report because it says about an excavated bottle that the embossed “MIL” on the bottom “indicates the bottle was manufactured in Milwaukee, WI and the bottle likely contained beer.”

It really is amazing how routinely white men suspected of murdering multiple people get taken into custody while black men get killed by police for traffic violations.