Pete Hegseth: "We need our warriors to embrace the Spartan mindset" U.S. Military: *suffers crushing defeat to the Persians*

stuck in the backrooms with a fucked up version of myself with 12 eyes anyone want anything

Now why did she need to be stanced up like that?

alright everyone what are we doing to celebrate?

Dang they really got a category for everything

The air quality sucks today.. but the smoke quality is pretty good

When you follow someone cool and they don't follow you back but they visit your page and like one of your posts I appreciate it. Thank you for your consideration

hell yeah brother

under 16? this is bluesky, surely we have to set the bar of entry at 30

Fucking on the arcade floor sofa tonight

just traveled at the speed of light and no one even gives a shit

gee whiz the smoke is so bad in Chicago rn

"Civilization was a mistake" — me when I stay up too late playing Civilization

business idea: spiked mocktails

is scotland still in it

I wouldn't be good at soccer for the most part but I would absolutely nail the fake injuries. I'd lose the game but I'd win an Oscar

man the news really wants you to know that the diarrhea is EXPLOSIVE huh

mandating that everyone in the military wear roman armour because it looks badass

A plump polyphemus moth just chillin’ in the middle of campus this morning.

Saying the dumbest, most incomprehensible shit on the planet and capping it off with "Thank you for your attention to this matter!" is so funny

the most effective horror films prey on our collective fear of something really scary happening

the smartest, most thoughtful people on the internet are being forced to unhinge their jaws for engagement and i've had it

lindsey ham

She’s so beautiful 😭

unfortunately once again i have done a

Today, the federal government finalized a major change to the Endangered Species Act (ESA) to remove vital habitat protections for endangered species.

taking matters into my own hams

going to the backrooms, does anyone need any fucked up chairs

There is only one real American. He lives in a suburb with real american values. He has never had a matcha latte. He is a great favorite. He knows that real education can’t happen at universities. He has never used a laptop. His feet are light and nimble. He says that he will never die.

this dock has an appl

at the senate bean soup museum

mcconnell returning after weeks with a gigantic BBL

Out on the town having the time of my life with Mitch McConnell. He's just out of frame, laughing too

"Its swimsuit season", I whisper, eating another swimsuit

made eye contact with my own reflection in a store window and instinctively did the flat smile thing what the fuck

we are scarily close to general artificial intelligence

I would never make it in Bridgerton. Lady Whistledown writes one withering little passage about me and I'm in tears for the rest of the season

If I was this I would never tell anybody about any other anecdote or experience I've ever had. This would be my only thing

“But the bigger problem is how much of the media of ‘the left’ is dominated by men who appear to have no understanding of sexual abuse or intimate partner violence, but do have a pretty hefty sexist streak that they either aren’t aware of or don’t care to remedy.” YES @juliedicaro.bsky.social

every private equity guy for some reason: step 1 to improving this company is firing everybody who knows what they're doing

gotta get someone to study the men who say "yeah but he's a good guy" about a comically bad guy

Maine Character Syndrome

there are men on the left who will see right wing men as their allies above left wing women because in their eyes the former confirms masculinity and the latter conveys weakness

not the point but shoutout to S22, you're just like me in E&M when I studied my absolute hardest for the final to improve my shitty grade

"I asked chad gpt" yeah well I closed my eyes and listened to the gentle patter of the rain and the soft quiescent hum of cicadas wings

Playing badminton with Mitch McConnell. We talked about the midterms and Iran. I took the first game 15-0 because he is unresponsive and lying on the ground.

what a fucking asshole

using a ouija board or