When I make a payment from my bank account to a credit card company, sometimes it takes up to a week for it to leave my account. But when I make estimated tax payments to the IRS, the money is withdrawn within hours. Why can’t it all be near-instant like that?

I just saw someone use the abbreviation “AI;DR” and I’ll be laughing for a while.

Kristi Noem was the governor of South Dakota when Biden was President. Guess what she said regarding Biden potentially federalizing the Guard.

Claim: 10 cars rammed ICE Truth: No cars rammed ICE Claim: She boxed ICE in Truth: ICE boxed her in Claim: She shot a rifle at ICE Truth: She did not have a rifle Claim: ICE returned fire Truth: Only ICE fired Claim: She drove herself to the hospital Truth: Paramedics found her

One guest, a retired major general, was asked about Hegseth's dismissal of the rules of engagement. He answered: "The words the president and secretary of defense are those of potential war criminals."

-ai

I hope they sing songs someday about the Resistance Frog of Portland.

As you may know, the SSStylebook (my personal style guide for how I treat the written word) does not allow the ubiquitous fall descriptor, "spooktacular." Indeed, I roll my eyes seasonally at this goofy advertising staple. Friends, I was just appalled by a new autumnal abomination: "gourd-geous."🎃

Probably the most important skill we’re on the cusp of fumbling as a society and as an educational system is being able to detect what’s real and what is not real.

I just broke my Ticketmaster-related moratorium on events on the Butler University campus because it feels like "The Crucible" is important to see right now. But my goodness: A $21 ticket costing $30.90 because of nearly $10 in "service fees"? RIDICULOUS.

Wait, “radical left agitators” had targeted CLAIRE’S? For what? What on earth. Also, fuck CLAIRE’S, I guess.

Dr. Jane Goodall filmed an interview with Netflix in March 2025 that she understood would only be released after her death.

Obeying in advance is not going to save us. Assume the close. Assume we will vote these fucking losers out and reimagine this country the way sane, empathetic, responsible citizens should. If your agenda does not support life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, shut the fuck up.

Six weeks ago, I picked up a year-old tawny owl with a broken leg off the main road near our home and dropped him off at our nearest vet. After a few days, I received one of the most bizarre phone calls I’ve ever had, asking “So when are you coming to pick up your owl?” 🧵

Jesus Christ. DHS has held this guy in the hospital handcuffed to a bed and under constant guard for over a MONTH without ANY warrant or even ANY steps taken towards putting him into the removal system!

First of all: “on patrol”? Second: “rammed by 10 cars”? What on earth. This nonsense has got to stop, and we need the media to do better. Yes, “according to a DHS statement…” But when that statement is objectively dumb, we don’t have to report it.

Weaponized gratitude is a key tool in the abuser's toolkit. The goal is to convince the victim that they owe the abuser so much, they should feel guilty for wanting to complain.

If Dolph Lundgren was cursed by a bog witch with a great sense of humor to live the rest of his days as a dog

The Vice President of the United States used his social media page to tell Joy Reid, a private citizen with no connection to the government, that she should express "gratitude" for how this country has treated her. Black women remain the most consistent targets in all of this.

They’re threatening this bullshit in Indiana now, too.

Not great, Bob! (Also, did an AI write the headline, or did an actual human leave out a “the” in “It’ll also remake [the] world.”?) (Also also, “remake [the] world,” HOW, EXACTLY?)

Don’t believe anyone who tells you that intelligence shows anything “without a doubt,” but even if the intelligence was water-tight, this strike was still murder. No law permits the deliberate, premeditated killing of civilians.

i guess ICE is just driving around the city and finding busy areas they can tear gas for fun

"...Miller, who treats every Fox News hit like he's leading troops into the Last Battle when in fact, he's talking to retirees sitting on their sofas, spending their final years on earth alienating their loved ones... " 🎯

This week's comic is now up on @contrariannews.org ! - A Busy, Busy Day in Washington DC - contrarian.substack.com/p/tom-the-da...

IT'S LIVE! A creepy painting and a haunting story. Come watch me paint this illustration while I read my short story, Until Death, in audiobook narration style! A great way to start off spooky season. #art 💙📚

What’s something good right now? Don’t overthink it, and for crap’s sake no jokey ironic bits, just please tell me something good. Remind me of the good, please. (Picture of a child whom I do not know hugging a fish whom I also do not know is included to help increase engagement.)

This is a re-enactment of how enslavement, conquest, and colonialism went down (and still goes down)... This is domestic terror.

"This Spaceballs-ass verification code. Wait, this...almost Spaceballs-ass verification code."

The conversation between Klein and Coates showed me that a lot of people who screech about “infighting” on the left aren’t aware of the fact that marginalized people have been forced to learn how to regulate their emotions during conflict, and so, are better able to hear what’s actually being said.

NEW—US Department of Education sent out standard Out of Office language to employees on Wednesday in light of shutdown. Later yesterday, workers tell me they found someone had updated their auto-responses without consent to a new one blaming Democrats. Version of original on left, updated on right:

ER doc here! This is a lie. Wait times are up because the American healthcare system is an unsustainable business model and a for-profit national healthcare system just doesn’t work. These problems will continue to get worse until we change that system. It literally has nothing to do with immigrants

Jesus Fucking Christ, this racist dipshit.

Extraordinary.

Bad Bunny will be performing at the Super Bowl, and from what I'm seeing online, People Have Opinions. 🤣 But did you know he started a foundation in 2018? It's called the Good Bunny Foundation, whose mission is to empower low-income young people to pursue careers in music, the arts, and sports?

Teleprompter: “TO OUR ENEMIES, FAFO (HOLD FOR APPLAUSE)” Hegseth: “To our enemies, FA…FO.” Assembled Military Leaders Who Aren’t Fucking Morons and Who Respect the Awesome Responsibility Entrusted to Them: “<crickets, rightly so>”

I did it. I added some Keystone Cops music to this:

📰 DEADLY NEW RECORD REACHED IN INDY 🚨 Bicyclists Falling Victim To Traffic Violence At Never Before Seen Pace — Read the full Press Release at the link below. #SafeStreetsIndy #Indianapolis #HoosierSky #VisionZero safestreetsindy.org#/newsletters...

What's wild is that I watched Emma Watson trying to talk about JKR and it was clear she was trying to be like "I do love the person who was formative in my life, and I need for that feeling to be able to coexist" which is far, far more kindness than Rowling arguably deserves, and this just shows it

Effective communicators both know their stuff and understand what their audience does and does not know about their stuff.

My fave is Les Miserables. What’s yours? PS — If you’ll be in Indy on December 3 or 4, you should join us for the Big Broadway Sing-Along at The Cabaret! Info and tix at thecabaret.org.

How many times did I watch this? Yes.

At this point, any Democrat who votes to keep this government open without extracting very serious concessions — RFK’s resignation, ICE rollback, Epstein Files release, etc — will absolutely face a primary challenger who will set fundraising records.

Jesus Christ, what a security nightmare. It is irresponsible for all those military leaders to be in one place at one time, but it’s lunacy for the president also to attend.

“…as long as you’re not an Atlanta Falcons fan.” 🤣🤣🤣 IT’S NOT THAT HARD TO NOT BE A PIECE OF SHIT. Source: www.tiktok.com/t/ZTMYnLLJD/

Probably write a letter or something? By all means, keep fucking tweeting about it. 🙄🍆✊🏻↔️ Jesus Christ, what an embarrassment the Democratic leadership* is. ____________________ *✌🏻✊🏻✌🏻leadership✌🏻✊🏻✌🏻

Here is the image with alt text

Troops. In an American city. Using full force. Your now-regular reminder that Republican members of Congress are letting this happen.