My 4 year-old, whispering to my sister at a family dinner: "everyone has poop inside their bodies"

Guys, I'm unconcerned about war induced gas prices because I was an early investor of gas on the blockchain. I also spent my child's college fund on gas NFTs. You should have thought about the future like me, a very smart person.

Dolly Parton will go down as one of the most positively impactful humans to ever live. My kids get her Imagination Library books every month. I don't even know how, they just started showing up. GOAT.

What if he were nothing more than just some guy with sand on him.

Let’s be honest: in many of these winter Olympic “sports”, the snow is doing most of the work. An unexpected thaw would expose these so-called athletes for the frauds they are

I am introducing the Cut It Out And This Time I Really Mean It bill. It provides an additional $57 billion to the murder goons but they will agree to wear business casual Monday through Thursday and if they do any murders they have to put a dollar in this jar.

Ronald McDonald is such a good clown name. You wouldn't have thought of it. You would have given him something obvious like Bloopers McBurger, the name of a clown. They gave him the name of a man.

What a game.

My 2025 in a nutshell. Baby girl needed an MRI at 3 months old. Then a debilitating migraine I thought was a stroke. Dr's had no idea what it was. Rear-ended in February, in ER, CT scan. Nothing too bad thankfully. My best friend of 27 years died in June. Got sick in November and lost hearing.

2025 year-end draft baby. Go look at my insane picks. Always glad to be a part of this.

Farty Supreme

Red Lobster never released a commercial with a jingle that went “Shrimply having a wonderful Fishmastime.” That’s why they went bankrupt.

August music roundup. hamsterstyle.com/music-august...

Back to school? Have fun with that kids. Not for me. No thanks.

As a life long Rams guy, this all sounds about right. But ya know what - they're still not the Vikings.

Put him in assless chaps and let him fight Vampires you cowards.

Man, one aspect of convenient technology I've never thought about until this week is if your best friend dies, every time you go to share something they're at the top of the list in every app to share with. :[

They picked a new Mountain Dew Baja flavor.

Throwing multiple 65 million dollar planes into the sea

If an AI data-mined me, it would be like 'nah I'm not using any of that, no thanks'

::takes blood pressure medication:: ::immediately cracks open a 10% beer::

We sending up any more Business Womenz into space?

I just wanted to mention for the 26th straight year I did not dress up like an idiot and attend Coachella.

All in all — hamsterstyle.com/all-in-all/

I wonder what North Korean BBQ is like

based on how often the naughty teens of major cities throw the rentable scooters directly into the river i've formed a theory that the many iron age swords and cauldrons found in lakes around europe that we've previously assumed were ceremonial and sacrificial in nature were in fact thrown by teens

::enters high end restaurant wearing this:: do you take Camel Cash?

In regards to Wicked, wouldn't it have been more prudent for the munchkins to militarize against the Witch instead of singing these bad songs?

Inject that trumpet swell from The Brutalist Overture into my bloodstream I would live forever

Half the United States thinks the bolts on a roller coaster are decorative. Good luck.

every example of how AI could be useful is like “if you were eating cereal, AI could tell you what cereal you were eating”

depeche mode voice: your own. personal. computer.

The democrats are the kings of making sure that they are technically right in a way that nobody understands so they might as well just be wrong

oh... oh no.

i think it's time for internet 2, where no one's allowed to make money on it

My resolution, and I think it’s doable, is to run so fast into a chain link fence that I come out as cubes.

Instead of having playoffs, the college football championship should be between the best college team and the worst NFL team. If the college team wins, they get to become an NFL franchise, and the NFL team has to become a university.

(Realizing i zoned out for 15 years and have a family now without noticing) (Realizing I never committed my beautiful child's name to memory) You - (forgetting if we have hogs or not but going with my gut feeling) Feed them hogs

During the holidays I'm more of a new fashioned ham kinda guy.

I wonder if it was a pre-existing enemy?

logging on

2025 is gonna be watching a streamer who reads at a sixth grade level interview the secretary of defense