I’ll know I’m allowed to retire when I finally remember where the first H in Fahrenheit goes on the first try.

Monobob is cool, but I’m waiting for Bob Zero, where they just shove a sled down a hill and see what happens.

NEW: Former Wake Forest standout is attempting to become the second player to return to college after appearing in NBA games, as the current free agent hasn’t been able to find a team after his release from the Clippers. He’d have two years of eligibility left.

movie listings for dogs

Me Brock Purdy One Day

I like that one Chicago building says Bear Down while another is a huge version of Life run off an Mac II SE

Sports are weird sometimes. OKC lost despite playing an NU alum, but the Warriors win without playing their former Wildcat.

My mind is filled with the hereandnow.nwu.edu

Gate agent has jokes. But honestly, people see to be listening to his spiel, so what do I know.

unfortunately i SHRIEKED at this

I think they’re filming a die hard outside my hotel

This was a fun story, well-told. The best part is that almost every bit has a surprise to make it about 50% more interesting than it already was. Very glad to have Josh Levin in podcast form again, and reminded me to go back and listen to One Year episodes I might have missed.

A traumatizing home run to left field in Toronto? Join the club

I like that they put their best and worst defenders next to each other to get the silliest possible outcome

A Hawai'i game is finally on a channel I get? And it’s the night I get a free hour of sleep? It’s a date (unless I am asleep at 9:15).

In my opinion, Ohtani is good.

And to think, Franklin left Vanderbilt because he was afraid of playing Northwestern there.

normal person: i just want a place to hang out with my friends tech weirdo: and shitheads np: no just my friends tw: but what about hearing alternative views on race and gender? np: we just want to hang out and goof around tw: so where do the shitheads fit in then np: no shitheads tw: not following

The Ryder Cup captains should be each get one shot at a hole-in-one at any time during the weekend. If they make it their team wins and the rest of the competition is cancelled.

I think it would be funny if OSU fans stormed the field

Watching Andy Griffith with motion smoothing. Its like watching a play, which is actually kind of great

If you're worried about your daughter losing at sports to a trans kid just wait until you hear about "tall kids" or "rich kids"!!! There's a thousand reasons why one kid might win over another and gender identity is like not even on the list

Fundamentally i believe all identical twins should be able to get away with all crimes

Very disappointed that this wasn’t Mark Jackson’s roundup of all the spring intramural results.

You’re not going to convince me these are different people, no matter how many times you put their names on the leaderboard.

just let gargamel have the smurfs. who cares

It’s wnba all star weekend so annual reminder to when it was in Chicago and Cathy thought it was a good idea to close off all special events like skills/3 pt contests to crowds and league cited “safety concerns” bc Chicago = Guns. Anyway large number of illegal guns enter Chicago through Indiana bye

There are two types of headlines that I will always misread. The first is whenever someone is “charged with battery”, and this is the second.

When U-11 soccer teams walk out for games, do they have 4-year-olds walk out with them? Please say yes.

If the Mavs do not select Barnhizer with the first pick we’ve all been had.

“Existing in this world? That’s a statement of bravery. One we applaud you for. Don’t ever underestimate how much courage it takes to be human. We’re all in this fight together” -the back of every bag of like, ranch-flavored pita chips

Women are lagging behind on going bankrupt on DraftKings, drinking themselves to death, and fist-fighting anyone who looks at them funny on the subway but they can catch up.

Very rainy day in Pennington, New Jersey, a small borough just outside Princeton. Probably 900 or so people at the No Kings protest. Absolutely drenched.

Used a urinal at Jadwin Gym (Princeton) next to Bill Walton. The facilities were under the bleachers, so the ceiling sloped down toward the urinals. He had to bend his neck to the side because he was very tall.

Me: yeah I bring home about five figures a month. The figures:

Nice that at least Kevin Durant’s shoes are in the playoffs this year.

hugh laurie is british for “big truck”

if my team won the Super Bowl because we were so good at running the most basic play possible that they had to ban it, I would not stop talking about it until the day I died. Congratulations to Eagles fans everywhere, your team defeated football

Voice tweeting in Chicago traffic 😂

The Frinkiac is the most useful tool on the internet and there’s not even a close second.

Fortunately for Golden State, no team with a 20 point lead has ever lost

new gender neutral greeting just dropped

I swear I read the whole article, and I have no idea what this means, other than that someone is giving Northwestern money for…something?

I don’t want to hear anything about the NFL draft, unless it’s that Deion is buying the cowboys, naming himself head coach, and drafting all of his kids in the first round.

(stoically chopping wood at a remote cabin) Subway franchise manager: strange place to find the world's best sandwich artist me: ..that's the past. I left that life behind

lol at that Rory shot and reaction

Sarah just said “don’t punch a gift horse in the mouth.” Apparently she’s been saying that version of the expression for years. To be fair: also good advice

imagine if the watergate hotel had been called, like, the waterbuffalo hotel. every political scandal would be a buffalo. signalbuffalo. nannybuffalo. g*merbuffalo. a totally different world!