How has Stephen still got flares in his wetsuit #thetraitors

There is something deeply dodgy going on in Facebook comments about Enoch Burke. You'd think he was a national martyr with the support of the whole country. Then when there's a protest at the school gates all he can muster up to support him is one wee weird old man who can't even pronounce his name

Holy fucking shit this is awesome use this now cybernews.com/security/dev...

What’s next? She/ra?

I've been using the hedonic treadmill at the gym but I keep getting fatter

Can’t believe this was the AI doing those calculations and generating those images

Maduro was a bus driver. You can do anything you set your mind to

I've read enough comments under newsletter articles to know that Northern Ireland would improve 300% if people called Raymond weren't allowed to vote

"Standin' on your mama's porch, You told me that it'd last forever" -Bryan Adams on non perishable goods

Going up to someone with a make a wish foundation t-shirt and going "oh yeah? Name 3 of their albums"

Hey everyone, it's remembrance Eve! Remember to leave your ration book under the poppy for Winston Churchill tonight.

It's Cuomover #nyc

Nearly every single man ive ever met in Derry is called Caolan

Jack Antonoff? Only if Anton buys me dinner first

People say you can take a horse to water but you cant make it drink have never tried my secret trick: abusing horses

Only one comedian said no to performing for the Saudis. So they doubled their offer. He still said no. Good man. Rare man. freebeacon.com/america/i-to...

Driving past church with ska playing full blast so folks indoors think it's the trumpets of the rapture

New report says, if rich countries want, they have more than enough money to fund climate action: $6.6 trillion annually oilchange.org/publications...

In the musical theatre world I'm a triple threat. That means I have 3 knives.

wait all those dude comedians hollering about their 'free speech' only cared about saying the n word and being misogynist, they didn't really care about free speech at all?????????

one of the most important technological revolutions in modern history and you're likely not hearing anything about it because it's making the oligarchs who control our information environment poorer instead of richer

God do you remember very demure very mindful? I'd murder to go back to that time

This is simply untenable. There is no way forward with media and political classes captured by the right. Every time someone commits a crime you have to pray it's not an undesirable or it's purge time, then when it turns out to be themselves again they just shrug and wait for the next one.

Gonna open a cafe that is dog-antagonistic

Man I dont even want to talk about it but there's a lot of "dark humour" and "it's just a joke" people out there today finding out that there IS a line after all

Anyone else feel like we are being asked to behave to a higher standard than literally any conservative ever has or ever will?

You join us live from Danny Dyer’s birthday drinks.

Maybe not the time, steam

This violent convicted armed robber is organising a mob to hassle delivery drivers at McDonald's Connswater today because his thug mate got arrested again. It's just a hostile racist vigilante movement intent on bullying an easy to identify minority.

it’s so cool that we had 2 incredibly unwell, close to death presidents in a row

One side of Trumps face is now left-wing

Incredible moments in YouTube thumbnail design - entry 834

"...the final battle would not be fought in the future. It would be fought here, in our present. Tonight..."

I'm a reverse missionary. I go to Christians houses and I say "have you heard the bad news about Jesus christ? He died"

Turning up to my first drug deal with one of the massive charity cheques

please don’t put in the newspaper that that i got swamp ass

Lonely old crones are cackling to themselves in your area

has anyone tried stopping to compare themselves to others? Sounds like it might work

Here as well speaking of bees, how many bees do you need to have to be called a beekeeper? Because if you're just keeping the one bee that's surely more of a kidnapping, isn't it?

it's world bee day and not one of you people got them a cake.

nice

My weather app once convinced me that I was the son of God

Lot of past popes were thin italians. First ever chicago-style deep dish pope. This is where they put the tomato sauce on top of the pope rather than underneath the cheese. important detail.

Unstoppable top fucks an immovable bottom

ME: hey what's up MC ESCHER: i have no idea

Pope Benedict running back into Vatican city with the money in the bank briefcase RN

Quitting twitter for bluesky