“I will do it tomorrow,” said Toad. “Today I will take life easy.”

I….

One of the top learnings from 2025 is that we already have a word for learnings that doesn’t sound anywhere near as stupid: lessons. Just say lessons.

BREAKING: The word breaking has lost all meaning.

We interviewed Hitler about the rise of Nazism.

Me: This time we finally have Donald Trump dead-to-rights. There's absolutely no way he's going to weasel out of this one. Psychiatric Nurse: Doctor, he's at it again. The delusions have returned. Doctor: I will up his meds.

I have a fairly major project that's been sprung on me that's due on Friday morning. Thankfully I can just scroll and reply until Thursday night.

Then Toad poured a glass of water over his head.

Delighted to have opened the new toilets in our Wetherspoons today!

I’m making pumpkin pie.

Her: Describe your perfect date Me: It's cold outside, I'm under a blanket, I've never played the GBA Castlevanias before and just fired up Circle of the Moon. You're there, of course, doing something you enjoy.

What a queen

A few days ago our waiter referred to nachos as "chos" and I'm still thinking about it

A wind came. It blew across the land.

ATTN: if you’re on the sandwich guy jury, my Signal is in my bio. I’d love to talk after the trial. I’ll keep you anonymous. Please share widely.

Fuck the Dodgers. I don’t give a shit. A one run win in game 7 is tantamount to a draw, but they get to look like geniuses for spending all the money in the world. God I hope the Blue Jays can find another run.

To anyone not into baseball I’m sorry but also get into baseball

An ICE contractor left a loaded gun in a bathroom at St Joes hospital in Tacoma. The WA State Nurses Association is pissed

dear @bluejays.com, i'll be in Toronto on Friday and would love to sing our Canadian anthem at game 6. whaddaya say? #BlueJays #WantItAll #WorldSeries ⚾️

Here comes the part where flights start stopping and our chances to flee, dwindle. share.newsbreak.com/fogzt1hn?s=i16

Found my new hoodie

I have been charged in a federal indictment sought by the Department of Justice. This political prosecution is an attack on all of our First Amendment rights. I’m not backing down, and we’re going to win.

Gray-Lipped RFK Jr. Touts Body’s Natural Ability To Transmute Lead Into Gold

Hey U.S. military members: "I was only following orders" didn't work at Nuremberg.

Sounds like someone's in the Epstein files! www.nytimes.com/2025/10/28/c...

Fucking Dodgers.

This is bonkers. Go Blue Jays. …how’s everyone feeling about the Manfred runner right now?

The Mariners still have the longest post season game. Just not this year.

BREAKING: A Department of Homeland Security officer shot at an unarmed black man during a traffic stop in DC, and the DC police officer said he was told by superiors not to mention the shooting in his incident report. 1/ www.washingtonpost.com/dc-md-va/202...

My heart is breaking for my students They already have to battle housing insecurity, food insecurity, mental & physical health insecurity, and now one of the only things they can count on, SNAP Benefits, won’t be accessible to them. Kids shouldn’t go to bed hungry This country is a disgrace

YOU: what if his name was penis parker and he shot web by jacking his dick lol YOUR FRIEND WHO WAS TOO INTO COMICS GROWING UP: They actually did that as a whole arc in the late 80s. Wasn't Conway's best work.

A Christianity that causes the hungry to go without food, the sick to go without healthcare, the stranger to be mistreated, and God’s creation to be ravaged, all while the greedy and cruel satisfy their every desire, is a Christianity that can no longer claim to follow Christ.

We no longer have a republic.

On a deadly serious note, the President cannot rely on external, private sources to fund spending as an end-run around Congress’ constitutional power of the purse. If he can, we no longer have a republic.

If you are a journalist or pretending to be one, I am begging you to unlearn the phrase "growing concerns"

Today, Mike Johnson will keep the House adjourned for the 80th day out of the last 92. The senate has been working, so this is not about the shutdown. It is about avoiding a vote to release the Epstein files.

I know I just reposted this, but…come on: this is an amazing opportunity. This guy needs suggestions. If you see this and pass it by, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.

I have a large beard. I have to go to a Halloween party this coming weekend. I am willing to shave my whole face or shape however necessary. Looking for some fun ideas. When I don’t have a beard or a mustache I look like I’m a 12yo

The momentary feeling of panic when I go to select “Show me less like this” and accidentally press the share button.

How much is the new ballroom supposed to cost? Somewhere in the neighborhood of $230 million? So Trump is going to pay for the ballroom himself, using money he steals from the taxpayers. Got it.

I'm obsessed with this guy I found on TikTok. incredible energy

After Trump is gone we should tear down the White House and build something new we can be proud of. It was originally built by slaves, and there's no way to rid it of the stink currently residing in it. Let's build something we can be proud of again.

The Dodgers prepare for the possibility that players will seek asylum at Toronto home games.

the last six weeks or so of m's baseball has been some of the most fun baseball i've seen in my life

I’m a Mariners fan. That was a fucking brutal series, and one we should have won but lost. I’m not mad, I’m just a little disappointed. That said: let’s go Blue Jays!! Fuck up the Dodgers!!

If the Mariners don’t win tonight, there’s some good news: we get to erase the pain of losing with false hope for next season!! I’m excited to start speculating and I’m already pumped for Spring Training.

No matter what happens today, I want to make this clear: As a Mariners fan, I will be rooting for whoever faces the Dodger.