I have become the goat who screams like a man.

The FAA is closing the airspace around El Paso International Airport in Texas for 10 days, grounding all flights to and from the airport, for “special security reasons." The FAA's notice did not provide additional details.

oh yay! relooted is out! i've been waiting for this since i first heard about it last year!

So the feds ARE NOT considering an mRNA vaccine for the flu, which could save countless lives, but ARE backing research into whether horse dewormer can cure cancer, because the right views vaccines as elite and ivermectin as populist. Cool. kffhealthnews.org/news/article...

“Oh, what a crock-load of mierda—¿qué?—¿qué está pasando? ” said local 43-year-old Randy Hance

I'm hardly the first person to note this, but it's enormously instructive that our President and his followers saw the message "THE ONLY THING MORE POWERFUL THAN HATE IS LOVE" and understood it, correctly, as an attack on them

Conservatives Outraged Super Bowl Happening In Foreign City Of Santa Clara

Scientists Confirm Shingleback Lizards Only Reptiles That Mate For Sake Of Aging Mothers https://theonion.com/scientists-confirm-shingleback-lizards-only-reptiles-that-mate-for-sake-of-aging-mothers/

My goal as a parent was always to raise better men than me I just received a video from one son of my other son juggling dildos outside the Whipple Building There are many things I could have done better but I can't really argue with the results

An opinion I pretty firmly hold is that everyone should make a song, paint a painting, act in something, and write a book even if all of those things end up being objectively terrible

Hang it in the Louvre

Amazing photos here

the Spectator accidentally recycled a subhed from a previous day’s article about Tehran

Community Leather Coat Drive Helps Bad Boys In Need https://theonion.com/community-leather-coat-drive-helps-bad-boys-in-need/

Scotland has passed a law that all new buildings must install ‘swift bricks’ which are hollowed out bricks to help nesting swifts and other endangered birds! Swifts are especially endangered because so many chimneys now have chimney caps. Swifts return to the same nesting spot year after year.

Olympic Torch Followed By Thousands Of Wailing, Black-Shawled Italian Women https://theonion.com/olympic-torch-followed-by-thousands-of-wailing-black-shawled-italian-women/

Today's newsletter is my take on Bezos' gutting of the Washington Post and what I think his goal is with all of this: www.readtpa.com/p/jeff-bezos...

Props to NPR for leading the newscast w/ the president's racist post. But, c'mon...they're not false narratives. They're lies. Words matter (Once again, don't give me the 'but we don't know what he knows or is thinking.')

Trove Of Emails About Pedophilia Reignites Nation’s Love Of Reading https://theonion.com/trove-of-emails-about-pedophilia-reignites-nations-love-of-reading/

AI Chatbot That Only Responds ‘Huh’ Valued At $200 Billion https://theonion.com/ai-chatbot-that-only-responds-huh-valued-at-200-billion/

A 45-year-old man has been charged with two counts of assault after getting into a fistfight with a group of Texas teenagers who were protesting Immigration Customs and Enforcement. thebarbedwire.com/2026/02/05/m...

wow! can’t wait to see how the sports section of my hometown paper covers this trade!

Tonight’s dumb napkin cartoon…

Reptile Handler At Birthday Party Ruthlessly Heckled By 6-Year-Old For Showing Amphibian https://theonion.com/reptile-handler-at-birthday-party-ruthlessly-heckled-by-6-year-old-for-showing-amphibian/

Crying laughing better editing than most a24 horror movies

It’s so funny that this guy’s entire thing is “Oh are you triggered by what I have to say about marginalized people” but he loses it when someone more well-liked than he will ever be talks about an actual injustice

REJOICE! It is above freezing in DC. 💃🕺 Just barely, but it counts. 233 hours at or below freezing, now concluded with a 2p of 33. This ends a 9-day streak at or below freezing. It is tied for 5th longest on record since 1872! Only second time this long since 1936.

is he… is he shitting his pants here

A message from one of the under-acknowledged “non-white supporters of whites”, also known as liars

Córy Doctorow with another verbal bullseye: pluralistic.net/2026/01/13/n...

I am once again begging everyone to remember, once the WGA and SAG-AFTRA contract negotiations begin, that *this* is how the trades we rely on operate

Another banger

MAJOR UPSET ALERT: Democrat Taylor Rehmet has just been projected the winner of the Texas SD9 special election — flipping a district that went Trump +17 and hasn’t elected a Democrat since 1991. Trump personally endorsed Leigh Wambsganss and spent days hyping this race… and still lost.

Best idea I ever saw at an event in DC - World Wide Pride in this case - was a few houses that'd put an extension cord with some phone chargers on it over the fence for attendees to use.

Who could possibly have seen this

The party of free speech is at it again. Also remember Florida was the first to pass its (unconstitutional) law suggesting that no political speech could ever be removed from social media, and desantis did a whole big thing about how Florida had the strongest free speech protections.

I need a break from the relentless (bad!) news, so I'm poking through some recent photos, and I figured hey, maybe you want a momentary break as well. So here are four of those photos. All by me.

My time to shine: newts have sex by the male laying down spermatophores and then waving his tail and head butting the female until she sits on one and takes it into her cloaca.

Tucker Carlson: "Saudi Arabia [...] is kind of a weirdly free place.” Hillary Clinton: "The example that the kingdom is setting for the right kind of development [...] that is a very strong model for other parts of the world" Quotes from a real estate conference in Riyadh