Their queen / Our queen

This is my auditory processing nightmare

Obviously I am beyond psyched for the Mariners, but I am almost as excited for my guy Humpy! What a night.

“Billy, these are salmon. They’re some of the most undervalued fish in baseball. Their defect is they can’t survive on land. They can be the most effective relief pitchers in the league.”

Hegseth doesn’t like it, but this is what peak male performance looks like

This picture of Cal made me laugh out loud He looks like a 2nd grade line leader going to lunch

Perhaps it’s time to hire the Etsy witch who unfucked the mariners to take care of a few other things

Everything I learn about Andrés Muños and Matilda makes me love them both even more

IT'S PUMPKIN SEASON, BETCHES

I feel called out 🤣

The real generational divide is people who refuse to watch a video if it could be an article versus people who refuse to read an article if it could be a video

This is incredible, as are some of the replies to this skeet

This really helps me too, along with going someplace with people who understand autistic overwhelm so I know they'll get it if I do engage some accommodation for myself. If I don't have to spend all my energy trying to appear "normal" I don't feel trapped and can enjoy myself more.

Dam been writing a book about this and she just TikToked it in 90 seconds.

Phenomenal article. All this and a legendary butt too

I love how clearly you can see on this graph exactly when the Etsy Witch happened

Yuko is a star 🤩

You know what, also? The Black Donnellys. Nobody has heard of it and @crispythekraken.bsky.social and I quote it to each other once a week minimum.

Sense8, always and forever

Me 15 minutes ago: This Cup Noodle will fix me Me now: Cup Noodle was defective

And the way private & public spaces were repurposed to help people get vaccinated as quickly as possible. I got mine at a hockey rink and watched the zamboni go round and round while I waited out the 15 min monitoring period. It felt like we were all coming together for progress & the greater good.

I am tired of the circumstances of my life being determined by men on the brink of non-existence who think they’ll never die if they have enough power.

If hopelessness has made a home in your heart, it cannot be dislodged easily or all at once. Chip away at it with small victories, moments of hope and defiance. It is not easy and it will take time and effort, but strive to make it an uncomfortable home, a place where despair is no longer welcome.

i was talking to my dad about autism the other day and he mentioned the spectrum and i told him i think of it as more of a cluster of things different people have, and to different degrees, and that the idea of a spectrum usually just ranks us all on how useful we are to capitalism

Abraham Lincoln was a messy bitch who lived for drama

Watching this video 10 times has significantly improved my mood.

One time my therapist did our Zoom session from their office-office instead of their usual home office, and I had to interrupt the session to ask them about an abstract art piece on the wall. It turns out it wasn't art, it was a mirror. Yes, I do have ADHD, why do you ask?

no one's siiick as gaston no one's thicc as gaston no one whips out their dick quite as quick as gaston

It me

Luke Raley, spotting Perry Hill in the dugout: BONE! It’s a little chilly today! You know what that means! Perry: Hot… Raley, interrupting: HOT CHOCOLATE! I’ll make yours first!!!

It's important in times like these to find and celebrate the joy. MY BOY GENO IS HOME!!!

despite everything, i still believe in the potential of humankind to create utopia. but it will require hard work, courage, and above all else extremely deep v-necks that go almost down to the dick

rip to andre the giant ONLY

Wonder if Jermanthony is any relation to Jarnathon (iykyk)

At no point did I know what the next word of this skeet was going to be and yet it was perfect

Neurodivergent screening tests will be like "do you struggle with wearing socks" and ND people will be like "nope does not describe me, for you see I have a System" and folks that is what the question is getting at (Bringing my biggest post over here from Twitter)

interrupting fr be one of the hardest things for me to stop with my ADHD like trying to slow down a freight train at high speed

Curly fries>tater tots>beer battered fries>waffle fries>steak fries>sweet potato fries>fast food French fries. Shoestring fries can fuck all the way off

Wanna see two baby goats acting like puppies? So cute!

I put too much bacon in my vegan mac & cheese

Me: Wanna see a porcupine eating an ear of corn? @crispythekraken.bsky.social : Sure. [Watches video] OK, that was cuter than I imagined.

some folks get REALLY upset when you talk on sincerity as much as i do, which is fine because we all have different trots. its beautiful to say 'no thanks' too. but if i had a wish it would be for those buds to feel safe enough to give it a shot. whole world isnt always snarling, just parts of it

Not to be demeaning in any way, no shade whatsoever, but I just think that it's important for more people to realise that these are exactly the same thing - the same skill, same mindset, using the same muscles. Plus it feels like every single person I know irl enjoys at least one of these things.

Literally begging you to post about Just Some Stuff. We will see the news I absolutely promise. Twenty people will repost the same exact thing about the news. Only you can post about a turtle you saw

It’s trans pizza! If you are NOT CISGENDER and you want pizza, reply here with a song that makes you feel joy or just the word PIZZA. I’ll pick five winners at random and send them each $50 via Venmo or PayPal for pizza. You have 24 hours starting now!

Send a screenshot of the game you have the most hours in.

if i can be y’all’s dad for a second: one of the most important things I’ve learned is that acquiring a skill is literally uncomfortable that awful moment where you feel confused and stupid and embarrassed? it means you’re about to learn something. and it’s *mandatory* if you want to get better

A very Happy Father's Day to this horny, persistent king

bedtime

A friend just asked me what I do to stay hopeful and I told him one of my favorite strategies…I stay hopeful by remembering that no one has any idea what the fuck is going to happen, so as long as we don’t know, we gotta do what we can.