Kelly__le
@kellyle.bsky.social
📤 3085
📥 3156
📝 787
Jokes and whatnot. Kelly__le from the Twitter
pinned post!
Pinned from the other place: I spent 5 min. in the dark trying to get my charger in my phone. I'm embarrassed & I feel like I owe some dudes from high school an apology.
over 1 year ago
22
409
82
Hey buttmunches, I’m going back over to the other place. Please consider giving ole Kell a follow. Thanks.
about 2 months ago
1
3
0
Getting a mammogram. I’ll see if I can get wallet sizes or 5 x 7s. ( • Y • )
3 months ago
2
27
1
reposted by
Kelly__le
Mark Hamill
4 months ago
"I was only following orders" wasn't an acceptable excuse at the Nuremberg trials & won't work now.
#AccountabilityIsComing
add a skeleton here at some point
1690
30035
7767
I woke up to
#lucypancakes
biting my arm. Girl, I’m not dead, I just overslept! Damn!
#AsSoonAsImDeadShellEatMyEyeballs
4 months ago
2
14
0
I don’t mean to brag but yesterday, a lady whom I’ve never met, told me I had a flat butt. 💅🏻
4 months ago
0
22
1
reposted by
Kelly__le
Breakfast 🍩☕️🍑
4 months ago
This bag of circus peanuts from 2004 has a more natural hue and better diplomacy than anything coming out of the White House.
0
24
6
reposted by
Kelly__le
DaniBananica
4 months ago
This This is the face of a ruthless killer
1
21
3
Hashtag no filter. Feels good to just be me, you know
4 months ago
0
15
0
reposted by
Kelly__le
Jake_Vig
4 months ago
If you take a photo of yourself wearing any kind of reflective sunglasses, I will zoom in to see what you saw.
18
211
43
reposted by
Kelly__le
Halbeerz
4 months ago
0
17
2
🖤🖤🖤
4 months ago
0
27
0
reposted by
Kelly__le
Pot Shop Boy
4 months ago
Just got my $34 Facebook money. Nice knowing you. I'm moving to the Hamptons.
4
72
21
What’s worse? Having parents that made your relationship with them so difficult that their deaths are a relief OR having really great parents that you mourn hard forever?
4 months ago
4
14
0
It’s just never going to stop with these fucking people, is it?
4 months ago
0
21
0
I get sad when I see an ugly baby.
4 months ago
3
22
2
Black eyed peas and
#Daysofourlives
❤️🥰
4 months ago
1
8
0
Remember to be safe out there. Stay away from driving if you’ve been drinking. Also stay away from guys with acoustic guitars.
#NoDUIs
#NoWonderwall
#NoGettinPregnant
4 months ago
4
21
0
Sometimes I think I’m a pretty cool chick, then other times, I realize I’ve been watching a commercial for mailboxes and getting pretty excited about it.
5 months ago
2
25
2
reposted by
Kelly__le
Jenny Doesn’t Know
5 months ago
The Grinch doesn’t practice Santeria He ain’t got no crystal ball If he had a million dollars He’d spend it all On a master plan to take over Santa’s workshop
1
11
4
Santa came now because Santa is tired, and old, and made cookies, and pies, and overslept, and has arthritis, and made spaghetti, and has to prepare food for tomorrow.
5 months ago
4
24
0
reposted by
Kelly__le
Parsley Sage
5 months ago
If Americans were the kind of people I’ve always been TOLD we are, there’d be a revolution going on right now that’d make Marie Antoinette say, “gee, I had a great time by comparison.”
0
5
2
I don’t want to seem rude, but if you’re thinking of getting me a sword for Christmas, and it’s not enchanted, I would just rather have no sword.
5 months ago
3
48
12
Living close to Oklahoma is a gold mine…
5 months ago
2
16
2
Hey, sorry I was being a bitch. It’s because I’m a bitch.
5 months ago
1
27
5
My phone autocorrected “ducks” to “fucks” the ONE time I actually wanted to use ducks.
5 months ago
5
40
5
Thank you for the stocking stuffer ideas. But I don’t know what stockings you think I need stuffed.
5 months ago
2
14
3
“Where the fuck did the tape go?!” -Me all the way through December.
5 months ago
2
18
1
My sons best friend saw my Jem shirt this morning. He said “oh cool! Jem! My grandma has a Jem doll!” And that the story of how he got banished from my house.
5 months ago
0
31
5
People just go on cruises all willy nilly like the ocean isn’t scary as fuck.
#TheSeaIsntOurBusiness
5 months ago
2
10
1
reposted by
Kelly__le
The Last Mile with USAID
5 months ago
🔥🔥
873
25266
7397
reposted by
Kelly__le
Pot Shop Boy
5 months ago
At the antique store again and absolutely getting this. I have no idea what it's about, nor do I care.
9
323
77
🥰🥰🥰🥰
5 months ago
6
29
0
10 years without him fucking sucks Scott Weiland October 27, 1967 - December 03, 2015
5 months ago
1
16
0
reposted by
Kelly__le
Mrs. Betty Bowers
5 months ago
PRO TIP: If you're going to lash out at reporters for questioning your stamina, don't fall asleep mid-rant.
903
18777
4714
reposted by
Kelly__le
Midge
5 months ago
They should’ve called them Treese’s
9
257
47
Ohhhh it’s a bow. I totally didn’t think it was the Grinch spreading cheeks at all. 👀
5 months ago
3
12
2
Oh to be a kitty cat asleep on a pillow, under a blanket, curled against momma, staring at a Christmas tree. 🖤🖤🖤#lucypancakes
5 months ago
0
22
1
All the trees are up, the outside is decorated, and I am very happy ❤️🥰🎄🎅🏼🎁☃️
5 months ago
1
15
0
THIS BITCH FROM IHOP IS TALKING MAD SHIT
6 months ago
2
32
7
reposted by
Kelly__le
Midge
11 months ago
Stages of life: 1. Birth 2. You gotta be fucking kidding me 3. Death
17
1871
541
reposted by
Kelly__le
Midge
6 months ago
The amount of butter in my mashed potatoes could only be described as reckless
11
199
46
reposted by
Kelly__le
𝔊𝔬𝔱𝔥 ℭ𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱𝔯𝔶 𝔅𝔲𝔣𝔣𝔢𝔱
7 months ago
let the gravy just shower over you
3
81
29
reposted by
Kelly__le
The Real Beardium
6 months ago
Thanksgiving is tomorrow? I still have my 9/11 tree up
1
6
1
It’s amazing that my body only functions off cheese and naps.
6 months ago
1
26
6
I’m at the doctor and somebody is flipping through a magazine. Who does that? They probably write checks at Walmart.
6 months ago
1
27
7
Sometimes you just get the weird feeling you’re being watched. 👀
#lucypanckes
6 months ago
0
15
1
reposted by
Kelly__le
Parsley Sage
6 months ago
The French had a cure for this.
1
7
1
This Home Depot is playing my jams.
6 months ago
2
20
0
Are the Trumpers gonna copy him now? They wore the diapers. They wore the ear patches. Are they gonna start jaw doggin?
6 months ago
2
9
1
Load more
feeds!
log in