the haters said we couldn’t do it. but they never should’ve doubted the power of Bird Rock.

Huh, it's almost like IQ isn't a real thing 🤷🤷‍♂️🤷‍♀️

I slept on it, and now I have clarity: it's a little unfair for ME not to have ballistic missiles, and I expect the DEPARTMENT OF WAR to WARRINGLY DELIVER me some missiles right away. We're gonna end this leafblower nonsense for good today, sorry in advance to the TC Metro for the mushroom clouds.

What if the plot originated in the White House and among the richest men in America.

i gotta admit, i'm a little jealous seeing videos of people trying American foods all over because we don't have anyone here in minneapolis and I'd sure love to see a Scottish person house a Juicy Lucy.

Well, duh - when you're 5th in line for the shower, the hot water is long gone

>renames it to the Department of War >names himself the Secretary of War >fights one war >loses

Required reading for any MBA or C-level. They should print this is a little cardboard toddler book to make sure it reaches the intended audience.

Perfect photo, no notes.

That's no moon. It's a... oh, wait, my bad, that's a moon.

Quintessential Trump: In 2025, Trump axed the program to combat New World Screwworm, stating that they had "saved" $1.5 million a year. In 2026, the Trump announces a $1 billion emergency program to combat the Screwworm outbreak. $1 billion would have funded the old program for 667 years.

I see Trump's allies accuse his opponents of wanting him to fail, like there's something wrong with that. Of course his opponents want him to fail. He's trying to destroy the country.

Mitch McConnell will receive a level of medical care he has spent his entire career preventing other Americans from having

When Hitler fell, the purging of that mindset wasn’t de-Hitlerification, it was de-Nazification. When Saddam fell, it wasn’t de-Saddamification, it was de-Baathification. When Trump falls, it will be de-MAGAfication, not de-Trumpification. The entire movement’s hatred and corruption must be purged.

i’m ready for the Antifa News Network.

It shouldn’t be controversial to say that the creation of a “trillionaire” represents a giant and complete failure of public policy and government.

Congratulations to Elon on becoming the world’s first trillionaire from London 🔥

guy has a trillion dollars, 0 friends, and has never landed a joke. I know a pact with the devil when I see one.

If you see your first roach (or your first mouse, cockroach, bedbug, flea...)--it doesn't mean you only have one and you can kill it and be done with it. It means they've been proliferating in the dark and you already have *lots* of them. This is a skeet about prosecutorial misconduct.

AS SOON AS THIS WEEKEND OR MAYBE TWO WEEKS FROM NOW

🔵 This week's Tom the Dancing Bug - THEY WALK AMONG US - Brought to you through the generosity and awesomeness of the Inner Hive, including long-time member kenstir and new member Myan Hawaiian. patreon.com/rubenbolling/membership - READ IT RIGHT HERE👇

Trump is “Teflon Don” because a LOT of Americans are racist, sexist and strongly dislike “others”. THAT is why they stick with him despite all his bullshit. It’s not because he’s addressing real issues, badly or well or is a “genius” at capturing blah blah.. Just need to state the obvious today.

It matters that the president is nuts and his delusions are what is driving U.S. policy (and that his team and the GOP on the Hill are constantly enabling him.)

Ken Paxton freed a man who raped a boy for 3 years, reducing his sentence from 6 years to 1 day. He also doesn't have to register as a sex offender. The reason: the perp is Paxton's college roommate and a loyal and active MAGA Republican.

Wisconsin, come get your idiot, he's being idiotic again

the cars don't drive themselves and we're still nowhere near Mars, but you can't question Elon Musk's ability to deliver screwworms and racial violence

Nancy Mace 🤝 Riley Gaines Trans obsessed conservative women who placed 5th

maybe the deal already happened last week maybe the deal also happened months ago maybe you're lying

Regulators have linked my technique of avoiding traffic jams by driving through people's backyards to hundreds of injuries and a lot of smashed gazebos. Sure, I've put a couple kids in the hospital, but here's the thing: I'm a pioneer!

People get all negative about my "leeches and bloodletting are the cure for all medical ailments" technique, but here's the thing: I'm a pioneer!

The GOP is not a political party. It’s an organized crime syndicate.

Wembanyama clearly has a biological advantage over the other players why isn’t he banned?

"Now, should we blame Joe Biden? No, of course not, he didn't do it, Elon Musk did."

Every billionaire is a policy failure.

DOCTOR: "So what seems to be the problem?" PATIENT: "Mmhbbhhggr hhruuh engghhuu." DOCTOR: "I'm sorry I can't understand, but don't worry. Great singer Bob Dylan is in town. Go see his show and no matter what ails you, you'll feel better!" PATIENT (sadly): "Ehg ddnghh m'm Bddnnn."

Once again.

There is something brutally psychically injurious to being constantly told "just do good work and you'll be successful" while watching people who do the most dogshit work possible do all the succeeding.

The first screwworm has been reported in Texas

Rep. Lieu: “The Supreme Court is out of control, out of touch with the American people…This is the most corrupt Supreme Court we’ve seen in our history, and reform is going to come next year."

I banned AI deepfakes from being used to influence elections *three years* ago. Elections are already hard enough, we shouldn’t inject AI deepfakes into our democracy.

Folks, there is something gravely wrong with the president’s health and the White House is covering it up. This man is obviously not well.

With Elon Musk running 70 companies at the same time, while managing to tweet badly at all hours of the day and night. With Marco Rubio and Bill Pulte doing 10 jobs each, I am starting to doubt how important CEOs actually are.

Say what you will about Caligula, but he appointed an *entire* horse to a government position, not just the rear end.

Maybe It Already Happened.

Hilarious and deeply insightful writing by @brianphillips.lol.

Gender is a social construct, biological sex is not binary, and love is love. ❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🩷🩶🤎🖤🤍 Happy Pride!

imagine being president of the united states and getting snubbed by a group popular 40 years ago and best known for lip syncing and also one of them is dead