Ok fine I'll bite -new zombies

many people are saying this

big titties are androgynous

maybe his neck just collapsed under the weight of his massive skull

Tofu has been around for more than two thousand years. It’s central to entire cuisines, celebrated in longevity studies, and versatile enough to take on any flavour you throw at it. And yet, in the United States, nearly half the population claims to “hate” it.

Bluesky moderation suspending trans people for wishing ill on the members of a hate group who are actively working to eradicate us shows us what a morally bankrupt crock of shit civility is and how it only serves to punish victims and protect victimizers. Bluesky should be ashamed of themselves.

cool bug

Numb but it's the Portal radio youtu.be/AY8jZzBf2KM

Another Monday

jubilee… labubu…. nelk boy….. none of these words are in the bible

SEVERE COYOTE WARNING TAKE SHELTER

"Please! Stop! No more!" I beg, as my tormentor read out loud another one of my old Facebook posts

Let me be real here for a moment... *Materializes in corporeal form*

Interesting priorities

Harvard is systematically erasing even mention of anything DEI or LGBTQ related. They took down the page mentioning me being recognized by Vogue's forces for change along with years of clinical communications about serving indigent communities.

hey don’t be a douche there’s no such thing as the friend zone nobody owes you their genitals or physical affection fuckin loser ass dork

Everyone younger than me is a teen. Everyone older than me is a geezer. These are the rules I have made

Hey im Jesse Pinkman and youre watching the Disney Channel

TIP: if you are ever writing a song or a poem about the influential punk band NOFX, you can rhyme NOFX with Halifax if you say it weird, as poets often do. Shadowfax (magical horse from Lord Of The Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien) too maybe but now we're talking expert poetry vowels.

The U.S. Senate is currently considering a budget reconciliation bill that quietly includes language that could devastate our public lands. It would: - Make over 250 million acres of public land eligible for sale - Mandate the sale of at least 2 million acres of Forest Service and BLM land

they should release a version of dark souls 2 that makes you forget the other times you've played dark souls 2 so you can play dark souls 2 for the first time

Dont Mess with Us World of Warcraft Fans, We Dont Play The Game

I am only attracted to people smarter than me, but I also resent anyone smarter than me.

Libs are like "I can excuse mass deportation but I draw the line at property damage"

this is like drake and kendrick lamar but they're both drake

On May 23, President Trump signed an executive order he’s calling a “restoration of gold standard science.” But don’t be fooled, this is not about scientific integrity. It’s about political control. The order gives Trump’s political appointees sweeping power over federal science. They can now:

Hot queers in my area judging me

You can say democrats lost because of trans people all day long but that doesn’t make it true

The Trump administration has just canceled a nearly $600 million contract with Moderna that was meant to develop a bird flu vaccine.

No but I’m actually super bummed that propublica decided to work with openAI and is happy about it

No matter how hard things get, I got a baddie who loves me, access to comically-large Costco groceries, and a fat ass. I won’t ever give up 😤

LEFTIST: Dude, you need to grow up and get a hobby. Start treating women like people and find a useful role in society. RIGHT WING INFLUENCER: You’re a pussy. You’re a beta cuck. You’re poor because of the soy in your blood. Suck my dick, simp. YOUNG MAN: the liberals have left me no choice

Next tattoo will fix me

I feel like my life lost traction when I lost my pill organizer so I’m getting a new one and vow to take all of my meds and vitamins and also restart my skin care routine. Gonna be mentally well, full of vitamins, hydrated, moisturized and hot as fuck in a few weeks make your plans with me now.

I really need this mug

Posting on X, Bluesky, etc. is so last year. Real influencers put their posts in glass bottles and float them out into the ocean for clout

I'm at a restaurant that touts how it is right in view of the train tracks but a train is currently braking right outside and it's like a terrible god screeching and it's so funny

State Department Designates WNBA As Terrorist Organization theonion.com/state-d...

How many tomato sandwiches until I turn into a tomato I’m trying to see something

Sorry. I don’t mean to ignore you. I’m doing that kind of thing old computers do where they kind of get overloaded with information and then they lag because it’s hard to process everything coming from different directions. Beep bop boo ᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒₒₒₒₒₒₚ.

I wish I had a proboscis so I could suck meals out of my friends with ease

once I grow my hair out and get more piercings and get more tattoos and get a pussy installed and get more tattoos and get taller boots it's over for you bitches tbh

we need a chester cheetah of the left