“My client is an easily led dipshit, a buffoon, if you will” is a defense strategy with mixed results at best so I suppose it’s all out attack on the ai company, which is only right and proper.

What does LGBT stand for? (Wrong answers only.) Let's Get Big Tits

Im surprised it didn't happen Last Summer, but y'know, at least he's Where He Belongs. Interesting that some people Still Kill the Old Way

There's some guy standing on the rooftops singing his heart out about a dead nonce? Wonder what THAT'S all about

Unsolicited Tick pic

When I read about something like an asshole losing their spurious law suit or some piece of shit losing their job because they suck, I literally hear the womp-womp trombone sound in my head and I'm just now realising this

Shar Lady of Loss symbol

Um, as the founder of Antifa I just want to reassure my partner that that's not my girlfriend

Have you heard what people are saying? (Please log off and go to sleep, you're sooo tired)

Yooooo I forgot I've still got The Big Sandwich. Oh fuck yes. Fuck yeeeeessssss

Ok, if I can't have 555 followers then the next pleasing number I can have is 1,234 or I'll accept 1,235 but only because it's the first four digits of the Fibonacci sequence and 12,358 seems like a bit of a climb They: and you have a kid? Me: yes They: but that implies someone had sex with you

It's not that I need to log off (I clearly do) or that I need to sleep (again, very clearly) or even that I am the most down bad of all the down baddest baddity down boys (wut?) or actually I've forgotten where I'm going with this I should sleep

Why yes, kind interloper in my dms. I do, indeed, swear a lot. It has been brought to my attention on a number of occasions by a great many and various people, not least amongst them, me, the cunt doing the fucking swearing, you vapid little shit stain

My writer mate asked what my best line was and it's either "..it was a day for chasing hats and inverted umbrellas" or "I don't need the computer to think, I just want my fleshlight to love me back" Multitudes, motherfuckers

And what of the people who oppose the 10pm headbang? Well, I say Kill 'em All

AI just closes the sin-eater loop. If you can fabricate villains and confessionals on demand, you never risk running out of catharsis inventory.

To defeat The Big Sandwich, I must become The Big Sandwich and in order to become The Big Sandwich I must eat The Big Sandwich

I appreciate the notifications but they're not the ones I'm waiting on right now folks

Fuck yeah, you should check out my moots. Absolute fucking diamonds, the lot of 'em

Although, as a direct consequence of this "I hope the crotch-thrusting Wizard Frog from the antifascist protests doesn't get milkshake-ducked" is a sentence that I said earlier that makes complete sense about a genuine concern I have and that Really Fucking Annoyed me

I mean, if the ICE guys are gonna wear costumes, why the fuck not?

Aaaad here we see the purple dinosaur, somewhat out of his natural habitat, somewhat confused, but certainly doing it's best, to have a wonderful time

So this is Earth X

New Malaclypse the Elder biography just dropped

*changes profile picture to a delicately censored nude*

Prescription-strength consistency

Haha sooo turns out, hoho, that being vulnerable and open with a person is, teeeheee, suuuuuper fucking underrated and also ABJECTLY FUCKING TERRIFYING My imaginary therapist: I think you use humour to mask big emotions until you're able to process them Me: the fuck would you know about it?

them: youre kinda funny me: REALLY?? NOT ANNOYING??! them: well...

She: *sent nudes* She: well? She: where's mine? Me (a forty year old millennial who's been with the same person for the last 20 years and has nooooo idea what he's doing, but also has a ton of unearned confidence for some reason): yeah, you want more?

Oh no the artist got happy and possibly as a result their work dropped off a lil bit, jesus folks, shake it off

Legitimately excited because I'm going to Lidl instead of the co-op for my big sandwich ingredients today. Better range, better prices, nicer massive bread. Truly, I now live for the Big Sandwich

Divesting myself of all other personality traits and simply becoming The Big Sandwich guy

Can I just say I fucking love it when the homies happy post. Oh, you're seeing someone and you're all giddy and giggly about it? Fuck yeah. Oh, you're experiencing domestic joy in a rich and fulfilling relationship. Double fuck yeah. Y'all slept well? Hooooooly shit buddy, I'm made up for ya

I've found it! The gender neutral term is Failspawn. I repeat, FAILSPAWN.

Ah, the ancient mysteries of Eris Discordia. The antediluvian rights of Mu, long lost beneath the stains of time

Now the nights are drawing in and it's firmly spooky season I might light some candles and do a Ouija board to ask Sean Lock his opinion on Jimmy Carr playing that Saudi comedy festival.

Binb agg. Binb of agg. Bin bag. Nope. Doesn't sound right.

Nice Canadian couple in the bar the other night asked if we were enjoying the speedrun of the fall of Britain and I was like, I've been watching this slow motion car crash for like, the last 25 years, what fucken speed run?

I'm in a noise band called Oh No Frances. We haven't made any noise yet. This feels very 25years ago.

Bum 'oles!

Getting down on one knee: Honey, will you marinate me? Her, crying: Yes. Yes! Me, jumping to my feet: She said yes! (Everyone in the restaurant claps.) Later: I am floating dead in a barrel of teriyaki sauce, a big smile on my face.

She's a ten but she doesn't say mooooooon when there's a cool moon in the sky

Blocked an account because they're doing the Facebook quote as an image thing. That shit makes me want to choke myself into unconsciousness. Here is an example I made.

do you think it feels good for the fan when the shit hits it?

"it just feels like they are swinging a machete around wildly with their dick out. except it's our dick too. our metaphorical, collective dick."

Girl, are your opinions mushrooms because that was a shiitake

You guys there was sooo much cocaine involved in this decision

I hate using emojis but gotdamp if they aren't load-bearing in a text based social ecosystem sadface. confused sadface poop thumbsdown

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