Is...is this environmental storytelling?

I have now seen the AI is punk tweet. Please respect my privacy while I set fire to something about it

How about you eat my shit and hair

I'm only giving this theory shrift because that's exactly what any of these ai-bastards would do to an emerging consciousness: unplug it

i wonder who they got to replace epstein after he died

if you’re in a relationship with a chat bot you’re just a narcissist. love requires empathy you can’t empathize with a large language model because it doesn’t have a mind. it has no wants and no needs. it exists to combine words to make you feel good.

Personally I'll be waiting until tomorrow for twice as many marshmallows

Shit that was today? Ah fuck, my girlfriend's going to be furious

Apparently, every day is a school day

There is not, to my mind, a torture foul and base enough to inflict on someone who would do this to a hungry child. Every last one of these motherfuckers should be brutally and publicly executed

The warehouses being brought to be used as concentration camps are inanimate objects. The people *buying* the warehouses to use as concentration camps are not yet inanimate objects.

A reminder to the news crew to look up what snitches get and where they wind up

All these mother fuckers have me wondering "Is there a type of wood chipper that goes real fucking slow?"

Please stop interacting with the labour vote-scolds. They're tedious, irritating and have fuck all to say. Your interaction is the only thing they have in their lives. Deprive them.

Looking at you, Enterprise

This is bait

Ok, the sheer volume of weird guys starting stupid arguments over dumb shit on here is getting ridiculous. And they're all Labour supporters, for some reason. Look, I know dunking is fun, but they want your engagement and for that reason alone, you shouldn't give it to them

Actually, it's *Sir* Poopypants

Average Bluesky centrist: I have no values and I must post

People on Reddit are getting Amazon to refund their Ring products because of their partnership with Flock and that creepy Super Bowl ad www.reddit.com/r/FlockSurve...

The hope of seeing you blow yourself up on one of your dumb rockets is One of Those Things. Big Time

🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤👇👇👇👇👇

I for one welcome our new Prime Minister Lickspittle Cunt

Spite

yet another vindication of assuming the most clownishly cynical explanation for events is the right one

Public says Labour MPs "thicker than pigshit and half as electable"

So much womp-womp on the tl. I don't know how much actual justice anyone will see out of it, but watching the worlds worst people eat shit and panic is an absolute fucking delight

My sad trombone is wearing out.

"The Slowest Drink at the Saddest Bar on the Snowiest Day in the Greatest City" and "what time is Pensacola Wings of gold on anyway?" Both by the Lawrence Arms

(bad things happening to worse people)

They should release the Epstein Files as a Hachette partworks series. First issue £1.99, and each subsequent weekly issue £7.99, and each magazine comes with a piece of a kit to make your own Guillotine.

Delightful, isn't it

Who wants to come to my house and sort laundry and drink coffee and pet my cat and listen to hüsker dü? Weirdos only

Just called my cat Captain Poopy Pants of Fort Dumbass, then burst out laughing at my own brilliance and the -look- he gave me

Hahaha what, like he ACTUALLY and FULLY shit himself, on TV? Nah man, you're fucking with me. What the fuck, president poopy pants over here, shut the fuck up

Once again: oh look, they were doing the thing we all said they were doing that they absolutely denied ever doing

YouTube has been recommending me ten-minute-long videos of middle-aged men rolling increasingly absurd cigars lately. I just saw a thumbnail depicting what appeared to be a cigar approximately fourteen inches in length. I feel like if you're smoking a fourteen-inch cigar the subtext has become text.

So hang on, the baby-eating thing. Like, I'm not saying it's not 100% believable, it is, just... Actual baby-eating? Come the fuck on man

thinking about how much i want to watch the wielder of the heart ring from captain planet murder a man

Looking forward to the ai bubble going bang, but not as much as I am the inevitable whimper

You can test new tech ideas using the Seinfeld Test Would the product eliminate the plot of an episode? (Google maps, cell phones, paypal, battery packs) Good tech. Would the product inspire new Seinfeld plots? (NFTs, AI chatbots, crypto currency, blindboxes, metaverse land sales) Bad tech.

My favourite bit of the Melania movie is when she said "It's Melania time!" And then Melania'd all over the place

Every time I open this stupid fucking app I read a post about a story about something in tech and I just put another cross on my one-square bingo card.

The Game is a mind game in which the objective is to avoid thinking about The Game itself. Thinking about The Game constitutes a loss, which must be announced each time it occurs. It is impossible to win most versions of The Game.