I stopped to give a homeless busker a couple of ciggies and the little change I had. He became one of my closest friends and completely rewired the way I looked at the world

Hi lovelies! As many of you know I've been diagnosed with FND which causes paralysis & seizures in my face, arms, legs and throat. I'm raising funds for a wheelchair so I can stay mobile as possible, please consider hiring me, donating, buying games on itch or sharing 🙏💖 - ko-fi.com/glitzydemon/...

Piss where you like, it's none of my fucken business and I'm not a fucken cop. Anyone harassing my customers gets a boot in the crotch

Feel like we need a hard drive check on Rowland

Might make a youtube tutorial video showing people how to make a tutorial that is a series of written steps with explanatory screenshots. That should annoy pretty much everyone.

Just got a follow from an account and while their concept interests me and their goals seem laudable and their rhetoric is not dissimilar to mine, there's something that just sets my shit on edge and gives me that uncanny valley feeling. Anyway, vibes are off. Fuck that.

too soon

Large rugs are expensive. Hacksaws and binbags are cheap. Plus, that rug really brings the room together

I made a motherfucking chocolate mousse motherfuckers. I'm going to a motherfucking dinner party because I am one fancy ass civilised chocolate mousse making motherfucker.

If you think Bluesky sucks, you are not using it correctly. I have curated my feed to be full of DeliciousWeirdos™️ and KingShitposters™️ which means endless nerdiness (complimentary), bangers, and really insightful threads. Sorry you aren't having fun you aren't playing right. Try harder!

Playing stardew again and naming all my animals with puns so I can be EVEN more annoying when I'm talking about it.

A perfect example of an armadillo getting a jump scare

I swear this wasn't me. I do, however, absolutely endorse it

We lost Douglas Adams 25 years ago today. This has made a lot of people very sad and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

i regret to inform you all but it is actually "Badgers" by Mr Weebl

"diversity of thought" includes flat earth theory, antivaxers, white supremacy, men who think rokos basilisk is a serious philosophical conundrum and people who want to blame Jewish folks and muslims for everything bad Like the man said, if you open your mind *too* much, your brain will fall out

Tshirt for a pornstar that says "I do all my own st(crossed out and replaced with a C)unts" That's free. You can just have that.

Horny as all fuck, just too glazed out to do anything about it

No lies

Just seen Richard Dawkins telling a speak your weight machine that it's wearing a smashing blouse.

Just saw the program for @whitbygothweekend.bsky.social and it's all AI dogshit slop. Like, could you not find a real artist, or did you fuckers just not feel like paying one?

i wanna shoot a guy and say abrakablamo

Ball room? Just go commando in baggy jeans my dude this is not complicated

Another is Neighthan Fillyon

Oh *that's* how you spell buerocracy. Bureauocracy. Beaur. Y'know what. Fuck it

Give the pope a machine gun and send him into war. The president is drooling. The president is wet. He wants to make love to the pope in a burning ambulance. Let ugliness dominate the discourse.

Please remember that gods and goddesses are just made up. You can create a new god whenever you'd like. And then insist they help you with whatever problem you have. I have invented Gary, who watches over limbo. He can assist you with mundane tasks. Please call upon him. Thanks.

Yeah, stop trying and just get the fuck on with it

Of course if you take the three energies and add the original two, you get five energies for the price of none

Hey gorgeous you look like you might have a little self loathing in ya. No? Do ya want some?

Imagine someone watching the cursed video from The Ring on their phone and exactly one week later a tiny little 3-inch ghost girl comes crawling out of it

Tom Cruise movies are so unrealistic. You never see him struggling to reach something on a high shelf.

Ok, but have you considered that I'm not being paid enough to give a shit either way?

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiits BINS!

Boss: make the stalker glasses extra noncey Employee: like the meta ones? Boss: (spittle frothing around his cat-anus mouth as his face becomes puce with psychotic glee and his eyes roll back in his head)NONCEY-ER

Playing a fun game of Is My Signal Shit or Has Bluesky Shit Itself again

Bought a foldable trolley for a fiver in a charity shop yesterday and let me say this, lads: Mother. Fucking. GAME CHANGER

Yeah ok fuck those guys

It’s hilarious that x and meta platforms are algorithmically designed to ragebait you and yet everyone joined this, the algorithm free platform and a lot of you decided to ragebait yourselves here when it wasn’t at all necessary

When you die, they'll fight over the things you bought, and throw all the things you made in the trash.

Finally got round to listening to this and it did a similar thing to my brain wiring as the first time I heard Hell Broke Lose. Just... Fuck. Tom Waits still just fucking rules

hello i guess i am alive and capable of communicating through the use of language and obscene hand gestures

If you say it like this, the N before the B forces your mouth to make a secret M shape/sound and I told my girlfriend and she got so mad at me

Binb of ag

May of naise

Star ward is where the Grink recuperated after his island trauma

Passport Bros spread out of control unless checked by their natural predator, Steal Your Kidney Babes

Hi, yeah, so the people who make technology keep making their products more expensive but also work less well while aligning themselves with fascism, hope that fucking helps