I know it’s a police state app but fuck if it doesn’t make me smile from time to time

my hope is that AI can empower the Dumbest, Least talented slobs i know to replace everything i ever loved with One Million Years of Content

tariff this, tariff that. what i wanna know is, when’s someone gonna tariff my clothes

check this shit out motherfucker (i impose tariffs on every country in the world and tank the economy, its not clear what kind of move i was trying to do)

(through tears) that’s showbiz, baby

faking my death to test the polycule’s strength

if I say I am displeased with where the industry went its largely because stuff like "YOU ARE A NOW A WORKER!" (ANT EMERGING FROM EGG) {framed by a UI that looks like a business application} is no longer normal

as a gamer ive eliminated thousands of moo deng like creatures for their various parts . Ive completed countless quests using their pain

it was actually a good idea to get a bluesky at my absolute lowest point of mental wellness

throwing up in an alleyway in roku city

drew my new D&D character, Huck Bokley, a rootin’ tootin’ aarakocra bard

bike lanes should be furnished with the auto-turret from Alien 2 every 50 ft

starting a new antidepressant mood board

eating 5-8 THC edibles on the commute to my severed workplace

i’m your valentine now

three months of unemployment would fix me

selection of recent texts

what every memory of 2012 feels like

yearning on it crazy style

watched Road Warrior and got inspired to design a t-shirt

you’re tellin me a crab ran and gooned in this

YOU: why does this program keep crashing.. HALFWIT YOKEL WHO'S ALWAYS BROADLY CORRECT ABOUT YOUR TECH ISSUES: y'ask me i wager a bug done it

okay but crying about your breakup in a furry bar is lowkey camp

once someone reposted this photo of me with "this bitch look like robbie rotten" and i still think about that. devastating

I’m crashing out I want the world to know I got to let it show

my friends have a running bit where we interact on FetLife like it's Facebook in 2008

i've got a type A personality. type A lot on da copuder

getting dumped while developing a new crush, or taking uppers with my downers

The richest man in the world went insane because he can buy anything except the ability to tell a joke. That's how valuable jokes are.

You was in the club without clarity of purpose

thinkin about when the office photographer caught me popping off in the group chat 😔

cool new thing my body is doing to me is getting me up every night at 3am to yearn for 1-3 hours

FUCK ALL APP'S - dashare.zone ADMIN

celebrating my beautiful husband’s 36th birthday in leavenworth, which as a first generation german immigrant, is a fun and hilarious place to be

We're making all your websites shitty and evil. What are you gonna do, log off and spend time with your family

video games without a dating sim mechanic are biphobic

[willem dafoe unprompted] now, this cookie monster. [toothy smile] what a creature, what a lust. it consumes him. [crosses legs] he’s really a tragic figure.

Me in the follicular phase: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!! Me in the luteal phase: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.

yeah i’m a switch. i collect the herbs & berries AND maintain the rabbit snares

how it feels listening to the cyberpunk 2077 soundtrack at the gym

even after all these twitterless years, my heart yearns to post

hey