🎶Cal has Dumps like a truck, truck, truck

imagination is about filling in the blanks

does this need context @mollyknight.bsky.social

I would pay a lot of money to have been in the design meeting where they discussed how to do the udder

the reason for the season

happy 4th of july to hot dog bird and no one else

my life got significantly better when i started walking 2 miles to the silverlake trader joe’s instead of having an anxiety attack in the parking lot once a week

Me walking out of the bus on MTV’s Next

EVERY POST YOU MAKE DETERMINES THE FUTURE OF THIS WEBSITE. I see you all posting things like “beefus blortus” and “she beef on my blort until I blop it” and YOU ARE NOT ADVANCING THE CAUSE OF THIS SERIOUS WEBSITE

We'll need to raise the funds first, and that's where the town-favorite labrador is going to help us.

or we could put on the best talent show this town has ever seen

god after creating adam and eve:

DR FRANKENSTEIN (to the peasants camped outside with pitchforks): Have you considered being cooler

i’m the hot dog octopus

i can’t wait to see how they screw this up

may gilly’s 4th birthday be with you

is there anything more satisfying than muting a thread

i think everyone needs this

why did i read this as “do geminis deserve human rights” and i was like omg do they

On being called DEI and why it isn’t the burn they think it is

when i lived in idaho there was a little place called “mike’s taste of chicago” and they had the best chicken sandwich i’ve ever had. it was wet like an italian beef sandwich but with grilled chicken. i have never encountered a sandwich remotely close to it, even in chicago. i think about it weekly.

hi friends i (FINALLY) launched my substack today where i will be doing a year-long experiment and i would obviously love to have you along for the journey so pls subscribe

Can we please all just get behind this man? It would heal our world.

Need a Father we can call daddy.

i hope the next pope is hot. we deserve a hot pope.

this is the best possible way my day could have started

my dog, the secretary of defense, is doing her very best and everyone just needs to back off she is TRYING

modern day paul revere trying to get everyone their drink orders

easter makes me yearn for the smell of vinegar

if i can’t share confidential information with the group chat where CAN i share it smh

just got this email and i have never been more relieved to see the words “billy ray cyrus”

The ritualistic feeding of the phanatic before each game. These barbarians will stop at nothing to win a single game

i often see things that make me say "this is the most Boston thing I have ever seen in my life" but i think this one might have swept them all

this is the funniest thing i’ve ever seen

Will return shortly to lamb cake content but just a reminder that you have 11 hours and 59 minutes remaining to make any #charitibundibowl contributions you might still be considering EDSBSCHARITYBOWL.COM

April the 19th be with you

going to the ballgame

That’s an out in wiffleball

the holy spirit playing first base or what

This is a tricky one, but I would suggest writing to a national newspaper, and including enough specific information that your friend finds out how much you dislike their spouse without you having to tell them directly.