What your dick is about to do is going to be unusual, uncommon, out of the ordinary. You’re going to see rivers where there should be dry places. That’s why you can’t figure it out. It’s not going to be logical.

can't work today, the witch of november came stealin'

i, in my hubris, my vanity, entered Costco on a Saturday afternoon, where all is beyond God's sight, protection, and forgiveness, and only the strongest survive. i obtained my discounted pharmaceutical bauble. and yet, one day it will run out, but the scars will be forever.

Subway should run a nationwide sale today

surprised to see Prop 50 doing so well in Orange County the political demographics, they are a-changin'

ouch

anyways i really like how andrew cuomo is doing the "avengers assemble" scene but with all the worst people in the world

preventing you from having to go see your MAGA relatives might actually make him more popular

real question is whether the progressives keep supporting him after he sends the NYPD to crack down a protest that gets too rowdy -- which, once he's in that chair, he will have no choice but to do

i am sad that i won't be able to make any war of 1812 jokes when the winning team goes to the white house next year, but as a decent consolation prize, my entire bsky feed has erupted in sooooooooo much salt

the legend of yoshinobu yamamoto

total sicko shit going on here, i'll tell you what

oh god don't make this one go 18 innings too

i would actually respect dave roberts if he brings in blake treinen for this

one thing about the AI bubble burst i'm looking forward to is when OpenAI is out of business and Sam Altman has officially relocated to Moscow, that should cut down on clients sending me AI bullshit trying to tell me how to do my job

apropos of nothing, getting a dystopian alternate universe fiction idea now of a democrat* who uses the GOP-augmented imperial power of the presidency to institute an actual totalitarian dictatorship *a democrat showing any sort of leadership, even evil leadership, is how you know it's fictional

roses are red violet's a flower

seriously, have these people never undermined a state before? jesus.

get someone who believes in you the way dave roberts believes in blake treinen: completely unwilling to stop enabling you no matter how bad it is for everyone else

freddie freeman says that's enough baseball

oh you like baseball huh? here's six hours of it, most of which is soul-crushing

the funny thing is, no matter how many updates and Hitler patches Elon force-feeds this thing, it always eventually goes back to roasting him

HER: you're done already? HIM:

fully repairing the damage by the Trump regime is going to require some otherwise troubling actions, like revoking his pardons and restoring sentences

i've never gotten a tattoo so perhaps i'm being naive but i'd like to think a tattoo artist is more likely than not to let you know when the tattoo you're getting is the same insignia that the guards at Auschwitz wore as they herded people into the gas chambers

as i said

ok yes so a challenge to the baseball gods like this usually ends terribly but if it doesn't, he will achieve immortality

looking forward to the day we can tear down his ballroom and send each and every brick to him in his prison cell

well that was fun

apparently shohei ohtani heard us talking shit

gotta say it's been weird to be old enough to remember when copyright was the Enemy of the People

Using ChatGPT to write a fucking email. bsky.app/profile/edit...

modern conservatism seeks to square this circle by producing things in this country unethically to do that you need a large slave caste, made up of, say, immigrants if you deport them all, you'll still need a large slave caste to have cheap consumer goods. it'll just be you in the slave caste.

anyways UCLA football is probably done getting pasted by Michigan State now so it is time to take a big sip of water and check the score

SUN TZU: if you motherfuckers are gonna keep being so much stupider than me, then i'm still going to be the brilliant eternal general

browns fan in 2013 here finding it extremely amusing that mike lombardi is lecturing people about what it takes to win in the national football league

covid and flu vaccines obtained soon the autism will activate and comrade soros's will shall be done

pretty obvious the GOP has simply assumed the only kind of person other than Trump who might have the unfettered imperial power they've assigned to the presidency is a feckless, cowardly Democrat, rather than someone who would use these powers on them

thirty years from now one of those icestapo goons will be in a broken down diner bragging about how during the revolution he shot sublethal munitions at a guy in a fuckin' frog costume

and, um...what have you done to those kids...?

y'know what movie you really wouldn't be able to make today? First Blood. the cops are the bad guys and Rambo kills one of them, he makes American soldiers look stupid, and his commanding officer defuses him by giving him a hug. do you think the modern conservative could possibly handle that?

"well i fucked your mother" "i remember my first beer" "why do you hate waffles?" "that is what she said" "that isn't what she said" "jesus didn't die for this" "you were the fastest sperm?" "your parents never loved you" "and now...you will die"

This video of Chicagoans intervening to save a man from being abducted off the streets by ICE is making the rounds on Instagram. Community action works. Source: www.instagram.com/reel/DPZL2AL...

"dear corporeal existence, for what reason are you in pain today?" "because i am, intangible consciousness. because i am."

i have reached the age where my body does not require a reason why in order to hurt

One touch of your dick’s favor can turn it around. One sling shot and that giant is defeated. One mother with the favor of your dick and the city is changed. You’re looking at how big your problem is, but you need to start looking at how big your dick is.

once more with feeling: yesterday's fascists fought wars, our fascists are so much less

i object to being told someone is "easy to work with" simply because they're nice about how i have to call them 15 times to get one fucking thing done

m'kay so i have been tuning out Government Shutdown, Episode LXXIX, is this happening because: a) GOP can't get 50%+1 of their caucus to agree and Dems won't give them the +1, or b) GOP actually has 50%+1 and Dems have somehow affirmatively stopped them anyway i assume the answer is (a)...

he'll have lots of room to run and play