There’s no rule that says a Golden Retriever can’t play basketball…but what if there was? Thus begins the opening lines for my screenplay “Air Bud: Class Action Attorney” and yes the dog does drink himself to death. It’s not a happy story it’s the story about how these systems crush us.

🎶I'm a bitch I'm a lover Fuckin bigfoots? Hell yeah brother🎶

"Where's the rapture?! Where's the rapture?!" Guys, I got raptured like 2 hours ago. Not really sure what to tell you. Maybe Jesus just didn't like you?

Sitting at my desk chugging Tylenol until I know how to use Linux.

Im ready

The spectacle of unqualified dipshits getting up and talking out their ass about shit they don’t care to comprehend, just to show us how they can force us live in their ignorance.

raptured! at the GWAR show

Sneaking into the rapture to fight god

Trump: don’t take acepitoemponoene RFK Jr: *moth crawls out of mouth* A nude man is in the background, only referred to as “the colonel” Person watching on tv: well if they say so

me when my 32mm scale model Meiji Restoration-era Japanese village is out for delivery

Don't forget to change your drawers. You're gonna be really embarrassed if you get raptured in dirty underwear.

ok mr smart guy then why don't you tell me what the "appropriate" level of pyrotechnics for a funeral is

For every like this post gets, I will command God to send one giant asteroid down to earth.

The ventriloquist dummy keeps saying things like "if life is a shadow, what is blocking the light" and I can't tell if he's dispensing real wisdom or if he's repeating the mad libs he filled out earlier.

The face he makes when he wants cuddles, food, or sex

Who wants to go with me down to the funeral home and poke the dead bodies with a stick?

Cocaine: the other white privilege

I think I could survive one rabie but multiple rabies would be too mich

Meanwhile, my posts:

I think we can all agree that Steven Miller definitely used necromancy to reanimate Trump's corpse, right?

Perfect. Yes. Just the headline I needed to read today. Thank you.

The fanny pack industry hates him for this one small trick.

Regardless of who’s on the terrorist list, we shouldn’t even tolerate its existence. Why should the president be able to make up an arbitrary list of enemies, w/o any due process or way of getting off of? Terrorist list is step one in normalizing political suppression & violence.

God is a pussy and a coward for not smiting me dead where i sit

When were you guys going to tell me that Portugal. The Man is actually a really good band with a ton of great albums. I've spent the last several years assuming that all their albums sounded like Woodstock.

It should probably be noted in regards to the liberals screaming about signing up for protests. That under Pinochet, well meaning liberals literally went to secret police buildings to sign up for differing things only to be immediately disappeared by the secret police and thrown into death camps.

You don’t spend billions on a secret police and new prison systems then roll it back when the first “problem” is solved. It’s coming for all of us and it’s already started.

the kimmel thing is bad but as long as they arent rounding people up indiscriminately based on race, building concentration camps and talking about eradicating those they deem sexual deviants, i think we’ll be ok

Turns out it's a lot easier to turn it all into state media when there are like 5 media companies instead 5,000.

This whole thread is worth reading and taking to heart

if your Klein be Naomi, then you’ve got a homie. If your Klein is named Ezra, you’re dealing with a lying chimera.

For anyone who wants a better historical understanding of what's going on right now, I recommend reading The Shock Doctrine by Naomi Klein. The administration's current actions are all part of a well-worn playbook that the right has been using for decades.

This was a word AND he cussed 😂

Lmao youtube.com/shorts/miTsx...

"hand me the autistic ball" the globe? "yea that thing"

Conservatives love to say “fairness” and “opportunity.” Liberals echo with “meritocracy.” But in practice? It’s not about skill or grind. It’s about who controls the gate.

We've got Twitter's top minds looking into all this political violence

Conservative white men screaming that they need to fight back against a nation whose laws were built to systematically benefit them while repressing all others because a conservative white man killed a conservative white man is the most Conservative White Man thing that has maybe ever happened.

Me joining 4chan:

Sorry we don't do "no harm no foul" on calls for mass extermination. Even if it were a good apology, it would also need to involve the absolute end of his career forever. You're sorry? Good. Be sorry. You should be sorry. Go do something else now and ponder your beliefs.

Focus groups ruin everything.

“He was a Christian” Baby evil don’t have a religion Immorality and Brutishness is not hindered by religiosity

"Civility" and violence are not mutually exclusive. Using your platform to stoke anger and hatred towards vulnerable communities is violence. It doesn't matter how "civil" you are while doing it.

The grift must go on!