claws and teeth and violence

are we all getting the same ads on peacock for the olympics? because y’all are posting like you haven’t had “don’t wanna miss a thing” stuck in your head for a week and i just wanna know how you’re doing it

Monday baby

pictured: two extremely messy adults who just split a pimento cheese biscuit in public and didn’t get any yellow crud on their shirts

Me at 20: I’ll have it all figured out by the time I’m 40. Me at 40: wtf do you mean they rearranged the grocery store

Tarik Skubal started kidding with Justin Verlander when he showed up at the Tigers facility on Tuesday. “I go, ‘Hey, you need a tour of this place?’ I’m just messing around. And he goes, ‘No, like serious, I do.’ … It was just a joke. I’m going to make the same joke when we go to Comerica.”

If you’re old enough to have loved Dawson, it’s time for your colonoscopy

i simply did not realize how many kinds of skiing exist

PACZKI DAY IS ONE WEEK AWAY. NOT A DRILL. HAVE A PLAN.

A friend just pointed out that the Tigers photoshopped on the Meijer patch on Verlander's sleeve. That's the little spinning top to let us know that we haven't been incepted back to 2012 and that this is really happening.

i would like it to be known that i showed incredible restraint at the record store the other day

Brandi Carlile's accompaniment for "America the Beautiful" before the game last night was SistaStrings. The duo, Chauntee and Monique Ross, played another American anthem, "Lift Every Voice and Sing," on the Library's Stradivarius instruments in 2024. Here's a clip of that impromptu performance. ⬇️

“I’m mad I can’t understand Bad Bunny’s lyrics because they’re not in English” my brother millions of metalheads around the world have been happily listening to incomprehensible Finnish shrieks and Japanese death grunts since we were teens, you’re just boring and racist

Ok football is done, it’s baseball season now

lol stay mad

THE HATERS SAID THE PATRIOTS COULDN'T DO IT. AND THEY WERE CORRECT. HONESTLY GREAT CALL FROM THE HATERS

No Kings includes Draft Kings

didn’t cook shit for the super bowl. just having some soy noodles and tiny cups of sake, might just make this the tradition

RESURRECT JOHN BROWN AND GIVE HIM POWER ARMOR

it’s a real burden being married to the cutest man on the planet, but i’m muddling through somehow

i can tell i’ve been around dogs too much lately because i keep forgetting that my cats don’t give a single shit whether or not i call them “good boys”

are ediya instant coffee sticks actually the best way to consume coffee in existence or am i just exceptionally emotionally fragile this morning

the best part about the winter olympics is having constant access to Sports Naps (the purest, holiest form of naps)

they should do a winter Olympics for cowards. slowest ski down a green slope, best ice skating with one of those big plastic penguins, most extravagant hot chocolate order at the bar après ski, that kind of thing

bro it's your MP. it's your MP. i can see your gauge is flashing. i know you're feeling healthy and well rested but that's a different thing. it's your MP. that's why you're posting bad. try procrastinating an important work task

dad’s little joys these days include “taking the puppy for a ride” in his powerlift recliner and winding my mother up about buying a motorcycle

I wonder if all this fury and anxiety all day every day is good for my health

really lousy day but i look like this and i can make a soup that’ll make you cry. not a total failwoman i reckon

Nothing says “I’m innocent, trust me bro” like disabling the replies on a post written by a crisis comms team 18 months too late.

"What in the hell is going on?" re: these high profile but more individual tragedies? People are not coping well, and most aren't thinking "Hey I'm really dysregulated right now, is this for sure what I wanna do?" I don't know that we have a big enough mental health first aid kit for this.

anyone else just walking around like this for the last week or so

Happy worst month of the year to all those who observe

i'm going to simmer that rotten little weasel with mirepoix, red wine and waxy potatoes

Lovely how every time there's a big Epstein file dump we all feel like we have to relive all our teen girl sexual harassment/abuse trauma publicly because we've culturally memoryholed the horrors of 1970's-2000's "jailbait" shit

good morning from the happiest, loudest boy alive

February, the longest shortest month of the year.

steadily improving my chicken piccata skills

Seeing how shite the elites are at writing emails you start to see why they think gen ai is magic and the bees knees

Catherine O’Hara SCTV thread youtu.be/990OaFr8EYw?...

When someone manages enough incredible performances for three careers, it's hard to say if that makes losing them early easier or harder

HOLY SHIT THEY DID IT #AEW 🤼‍♂️

ratboys forever pitchfork.com/features/rat...

What makes Gavin Newsom such a skilled politician is that he stands up to Trump’s bullying with piping hot memes AND is able to agree with Trump about policy www.sacbee.com

how many years are supposed to be in a single January again?

this little angel decided i’m an inadequate cat, so he brought me a dead chipmunk that found its way onto the back porch

have a lake puppy