BREAKING: Judge Waverly Crenshaw dismisses indictment of Kilmar Abrego Garcia based on selective and vindictive prosecution. storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...

i neglected to put on sunscreen for an outdoor site inspection today and the only sunburn i got was in my cleavage 😔

brought my puppygirl here and everyone knew you

Whatever your thoughts about The Boys' finale, it made Elon Musk mad, which the show's creator and cast think is hilarious.

Finally a believable explanation for all my bad takes.

As a sole practitioner, AI is invaluable to replicate the experience of having a junior associate. Last Friday afternoon I dumped a big, poorly explained project on my LLM and listened as it explained to its significant other that they’d have to cancel their weekend plans and then cried at its desk.

dear local chinese restaurant called Imperial Dragon: i don't think that name has the same vibes here that it would in china

me when she--

Think Tank Called ‘The Himmler Institute’ Assures Nation This All Legal https://bit.ly/44aNdkq

Lmao

🎵 the rain, in the plane, is mainly unexplained

in a civilized country we'd have burrito high speed rail instead of burrito taxis

incredible things happening en route to phoenix

Bush's baked beans has jumped the shark (yes, they're real).

but now the fear of showing up to federal court and discovering that i somehow invented cases in my briefs is going to replace the fear of going through airport security and discovering that i somehow packed five guns i don't own in my carry on

it's fucking weird having a job where my boss trusts me and appreciates my work and, more importantly, i trust myself and appreciate my own work

boobs been real tender and ouchie today :( (but also :))

in a row???

heard those kids finally killed the lucky charms leprechaun for his whimsical little trinkets, a true knick-knack paddy whack

I may be a Level Seven Star Wars Nerd, but I still remember that the point of the franchise is originally and truly thus... Space Wizards are cool. Space ships are cool. Space fascism is bad. Sometimes you can just let yourself have fun.

once again begging denver to open a half decent calimex style taqueria within walking distance of my office

lighting a candle for all trans people to live fucking long lives and get old as fuck and happy and comfortable and satisfied

i bet having a frog in your throat feels incredible if you're toad

i for one can only aspire to go down on trans women as often as bluesky

2. Today, the Colorado Supreme Court ordered Children’s Hospital Colorado to resume gender-affirming care for transgender youth, ruling 5-2 that the hospital discriminated against transgender youth patients when it shuttered its care program earlier this year in capitulation to Trump.

bratty lawyer who never gets what she really wants because her complaints are always deficient

a restraining order? your honor, if you wanted to tie me up, you could have just asked nicely

at this point would waking cthulhu up really be a downgrade

Doing this to cars full of high people is a betrayal of Taco Bell’s social contract with our nation

turns out that if just thinking about a scheduled activity ruins your weekend every time, trying to keep doing it regardless is eventually gonna make you crash out sooner or later, who knew

the denver summit supporters section goes hard

oh no charge, how did you all end up like this... this looks like how my novice teams have played for the first few games of each season... :X

chat is it good when the court cites representations you make in your own advertising materials while it's deciding whether or not to impose sanctions

not surprising, this website is known to be full of homersexuals

Hey guys

i hear there's some weird dude on here who uses bot accounts to glaze carter hart of all people, so i hope you see this: fuck the rapist carter hart, and fuck you too

Microsoft, I promise you I have no intention of using copilot. Why is it harassing me like a 00s pop up ad on every single one of your desktop apps 😤

“Yale discriminates against white people” is one of the funniest sentences I’ve ever heard

your honor, how can the court possibly domesticate this judgment when you can't even domesticate me?

one thing i didn't expect to suddenly understand while transitioning was the "omg it's so ugly, i must have it" impulse but i'll be damned, i totally get it now

🚨

tradwife reading of hadestown: even if things get hard, stay with your husband no matter what no matter how much he neglects you and your needs because only his passion project can fix everything. and if you don't stay by his side at all times, don't be surprised when he doubts and mistrusts you.

she duces on my subpoena til i tecum

thucydides nuts

Always true

yeah that restaurant may be a tourist trap but whenever i'm overseas, so am i

me normally: ay girl how rubbery that pussy tho me when i realize judges follow me on here for some reason: pray, fair maiden, inform me--could one perchance describe your delicate flower as pliable, malleable, moldable, lithesome?

BURGUM: When the sun goes down, solar produces zero electricity HUFFMAN: I want to enter into the record this amazing new technology that apparently the secretary is unaware of -- it's a battery