excited for the first ever mention of sissy porn in the congressional record

Jesus Christ

everything is terrible but at least we can take solace that we live in the golden age of baseball players with huge asses

happy National Girls & Women in Sports Day everyone

girl who went to federal court this morning and badly needs a haircut

I don't know if non-lawyers understand how insane this statement is. I honestly can't think of anything remotely comparable in non-lawyer speak. I guess the closest would be a surgeon saying "Imagine if I had to wash my HANDS before doing surgery!"

girl who went to federal court this morning and badly needs a haircut

college freshman who went on a 10 day trip trans women to the Czech Republic 🤝 making prog their whole identity

your honor, i respectfully move the court to be besties with me, on the grounds that you're dope as hell

here's my entry!! #Comics4Liam

My kid lives six blocks from where Alex Pretti was murdered Last week they were tear-gassed three times. I never thought I would be searching to buy a teargas mask and telling my kid to put their brother’s name and phone number on the wallpaper of her phone so they can toss it if they are arrested

surprised there's no hog posting on the timeline today

groundhog? sure, we already use ground beef after all

my friends and i entered a big tournament where teams compete in different sports. we won at rugby and softball, but finished last in volleyball, basketball, and tennis, so it ended up being a net loss

i bet getting your tank filled (or being plugged in to charge) feels so good for a car

big deal i know people who will humiliate you and expect you to keep going for free

it's over anakin! i have the moral high ground! don't try such a leap of logic!

DM me? We used to get hundreds of highly qualified applicants for a single job posting. Good prosecutors are increasingly hesitant to work for this DOJ.

why is the hottest lingerie always the least comfortable clothing ever made

forever and always the king of red sox guys for obvious reasons

ngl the legal reasoning to arrive at this result is beyond stupid but in this case i'm not complaining

ten years ago i can't say i really hated anyone, and i was uncomfortable with celebrating the deaths of bad people. now i truly, viscerally hate each and every one of these motherfuckers and will happily take a fat shit on their graves when they die far later than they deserve.

when all of this gets slightly less heated the NYT is going to be profiling anonymous ICE agents like they’re regretful Trump voters just you watch

Please stay alive Just being alive means you're pretty much a success 生きていてくださいっ 生きてるだけでおおむね成功ですっ 失敗なんてないんですっ 無理せずありのままでいてくださいっ だからこれからもちぃたん☆と皆さんはおおむね成功ですっ☆ ♩テレビやSNSは〔夢は叶う、諦めないで、前を向こう〕ばかり。 本当は毎日不安だし辛いことばかりなんだ。 辛い時は辛いって言っていいよ、逃げてもいいよ。 キミの声は聞こえているから。 生きてることだけでおおむね成功だから♩

on the plus side, if the democrats can actually be galvanized to rally around don lemon, they'll become the lemon party

Remarkable speech on the Kansas House floor yesterday by Rep. Abi Boatman. “I have sat here for 5.5 hours and listened to this entire room debate my humanity and my ability to participate in the most basic functions of society. I hope none of you have to ever sit through something like that.”

my only comment on the kansas law is that the only time i've felt genuinely unsafe while transitioning was at a rest stop in rural kansas while driving through the state in early 2024

somehow i injured my neck while pooping, this might be the oldest i've ever felt

oh you listen to post-rock music? you mean like @themountaingoats.bsky.social?

cocaine implies the existence of llccaine

Not pictured: Haruki Murakami’s wife, or indeed whoever is cooking, cleaning, paying bills, running errands, doing the laundry, answering emails, etc like yea his routine is goals, but let’s not lie to ourselves about all the invisible work others are doing to enable him to have that routine

ALINA. MÜLLER.

hockey is best game :3

The PWHL kicks ass, y'all

if you don't know what the word means, being kidnapped sounds pretty nice actually

yo, her balls are sweaty, hands weak, boobs are heavy there's t gel on her plaid skirt already, mom's regret-y

no, your honor, i did not file a formal motion to compel, the way i move should be compelling enough for anyone

hate it when something allegedly garlic flavored doesn't taste like garlic at all but leaves your breath smelling like it anyway

paying royalties to john cage every time i stop yapping for four and a half minutes

As Jim Cramer awoke one morning from uneasy dreams…

visible girlbulge is incredibly hot unless it's my own in which case it's disgusting

girl who just spent her tax refund on a set of brand spanking new goalie gear

for me it was the fact that the author is one of the main driving forces behind the global movement to kill my trans friends and erase their existence hope that helps

white baseball players are saying shit like "silence is a privilege and silence is complicit" it's a new day

this expert keeps talking about restrained shrinkage in the cold and yeag i feel that

lmaoooooo

god bless old people in zoom meetings who have the camera positioned such that their faces are completely out of frame and either don't notice, don't know how to fix it, and/or don't care

While i know its an annoying thing for many to have their skin referred to in food tones (mocha caramel etc) you all have my pre permission to refer to me as lunchable colored

can anyone direct me to the signal chats where cbs employees are talking shit about bari weiss? especially the ones with cbs news reporters