he keeps threatening to put my sunflowers outside and i don't want them to go out there, they are my silly little guys they are not ready 😭

he's not even left yet but i have somehow failed to cook a pizza in the oven properly and i do not think this bodes well

ngl lxds waiting to meet your new therapist is not an *ideal* time to have sex bomb in your head.

apparently i've decided that rather than eat or have coffee or do anything useful before this appointment i am just going to cry until it's time to get the bus.

I am once again begging, praying, weeping for lists of written instructions rather than videos. I do not want to watch your two minute video in the hope of catching the two seconds where you whizz past what goddamn menu the thing is under. Write. It. Down.

my housemate is away tues-fri this week actually so there are several girl dinners in my future, this could well be one 🙏

oh so now all of a sudden I'm not allowed to use AI-hallucinated citations or everybody will get mad at me??? I see how it is

taxi driver keeps making noises of distress/annoyance and i can't figure out what's setting him off but i am very uncomfortable 💀

i have nothing to promote or shill in these comments, but one of my friends has an active GFM - if you have some spare coin then it would be fantastic if you could help her, thank you x

unfortunately my partner's boss has let her go very suddenly (and without explanation), we're trying to raise some money for next month's rent while she looks for something new. please share or consider getting some delicious treats <3

japanese food was excellent, the bone temple was awful.

boycott the TV licence

i am about to eat too much japanese food and watch a bad film and enter a coma but thank you everybody for your wishes today i have known some of you a truly unhealthy amount of time and i appreciate most of you 🙏💚

“It’d be bad if Reform won another seat”. Yes I agree, take it up with the guy who created the vacancy.

Hey guys, I really hate asking but could I please get some help getting an uber to and from my asthma review please? 🙏 PayPal.me/ogsophiegee Tysm 🥺

she decided to wax them about half an hour before leaving the house and her face is very mad about it

sis is coming to pick me up to go for lunch, ended the phone call with "okay i'll see you soon, don't comment on my eyebrows, bye!" ???

Wes Streeting origin story

made it to another birthday without redacting myself, please clap.

Please do not try to clock “balanced list of threes” as an AI tell because that’s been classic rhetorical structure for going on three millennia and it’s baked into all our writing now, I‘m begging people to read more old things

I'm sorry, but I cannot accept the idea of having somebody called Wes as Prime Minister. Wes is not the name of a Prime Minister. Wes is the name of an estate agent who uses ChatGPT to write the best man's speech for his oldest friend's wedding.

I'm sorry to keep asking for help. But anything would be appreciated at this time 🥺

Battle of the Bottlers

Straight and bi women: "the ideal man looks like an exhausted dad with a little gut." Straight men: "I'm going to hit myself in the face with a hammer, then go to the gym for 14 hours a day to look like a jacked twink. Where are you going? Ladies?"

"No One Likes Torturing The Omelas Kid But The Anti-Torturing Activists Were Mean To Me Online Once So Who Is The Real Monster?" my latest for the Atlantic

IF YOU TOLERATE THIS, THEN YOUR CHILDREN WILL BE NEXT IS A SONG WRITTEN BY WELSH COMMUNISTS ABOUT THE SPANISH CIVIL WAR AND THE THREAT OF NATIONALIST FASCISM.

anticipating a birthday weekend full of crushing depressio, anxiety, and existential despair, so at least that will be normal

i got an email last week with an appointment for the nhs therapy i have been waiting years for and all i have been able to do since is wind myself up with all the ways it's probably going to suck/not work/do more harm than good/i will fuck it up.

Distant thunder rumble. Rumble hungry like the Beast. The Beast it cometh, cometh down

everything's coming up starmer

WHAT THE FUCK

she lived, bitch

I'm basically broke till Monday so anything helps

this is absurd

they don't even call you a tankie for noticing things anymore they just post gif and say "ur right" and cry

this is straight up DARVO

1. hilarious matchup lmao 2. instead of balkanizing za/um should have made a game where harry and kim have to solve layton puzzles to solve a murder and just get more and more annoyed

trying to remember a band from the early 00s with absolutely no recollection of any of the 2-3 songs i think are buried somewhere, just a sense that the name was one word and i vaguely remember reading about them saying some alt right shit a few years ago, pray for maz's brain.

Broke: stop the small boats Woke: put all the horrible pensioners back on the big boat

Alternative headline: Off-duty police officer commits assault Further alternative headline: Customer commits assault on other customer

Turns out all the kids who would sing "I'm not sick, but I'm not well" with their full pubescent soul were, in fact, neurodivergent as fuck

spent all day doing anxiety about taking my car for its mot only to get there and find they hadn't written my booking down and i have to go back tomorrow, cheers universe this is not what i meant when i said "i don't wanna take my car for its mot today".