I don't think the government should be allowed to murder people

more like new year's leave (me leaving a place on new year's eve)

Pluribus is one forever taking ass show

Donald Trump doo doo president

I love the idea that some meemaw shopping at Walmart is going to pick this movie up based on this recommendation

[Guy whose dick fell off because there's a girl in star wars] I would probably do well in a civil war

if I were a member of the executive branch, I would simply not commit war crimes. Don't want to be controversial, but that's just how I would do it.

they should invent christmas music that's Good

it is with a heavy heart that I must announce that trump kind of had that shit on

SHERLOCK HOLMES: Hello. I am Sherlock Holmes. ANYONE ELSE: What the fuck did you just say to me SHERLOCK HOLMES: I am Sherlock Holmes. ANYONE ELSE: What are the sounds you are making SHERLOCK HOLMES: Sherlock Holmes. ANYONE ELSE: And that's supposed to be a man's name SHERLOCK HOLMES: It is my name.

the bullet theoretical jesus christ

@dieworkwear.bsky.social can you talk about why RFK Jr has such thin ties. like what is he thinking

bamboo!

zelda is the boy, actually

Frog put the cookies in a box. “There,” he said. “Now we will not eat any more cookies.” “But we can open the box,” said Toad. “That is true,” said Frog.

one must imagine sisyphus jelqing

honored to have been elected the next mayor of new york city #thankyou #whoa #wow

is there a Balls Cheney

I'm the one who decided that christmas would start immediately after halloween. I told them "erase thanksgiving, it sucks." sorry everybody.

went to the Polish festival and got in trouble for asking "do you have any food that doesn't suck dick"

Peeped the other app to see all the racist Grok stuff and was rewarded with one of the heartiest chuckles I’ve had in a minute

they should invent a back that you don't need help to scratch

it's ya boy yung lesbian

good golly miss molly percocet

even if i decided the earth is flat i can't see it having an effect on me as a person. the earth's roundness doesn't play a major role in my day to day life. but you see these guys, they can't shut up about it. ok it's flat. i'll let the pilot know next time i fly. you just think that all day??

AI in the wild? This tray tissue I was given at a restaurant is full of errors and hallucinations…!

without downloading any new pics, describe your gender

WERNER HERZOG: clearly the monster is defined by our external animus made flesh. we see the monster as other and yet when we turn the page there is only one truth revealed to us: that internally we must accept our collective part in creating this beast even if it resides at the end of the book

I hope I don't have to die because of Iran

I hope I don't have to die because of Israel

do any women work for ICE

Sick of Events

RIP Mike Lindell I did not agree with your views but I don't think it's fair that they shot a bazooka into your butthole as punishment for your (as the court documents stated) "extremely fucked up and gross head"

I was going to protest today but my wife would not approve my sign that said "TRUMP IS GAY (INSULT)"

memento moron (remember that you are dumb as shit)

Striding confidently, and with perfect posture, towards Bethlehem

if I were in charge of the government I simply would not do fascist things. I would use the power to help people. maybe that's not popular but that's just how I would do it

i have many close friends and family who are religious in a variety of faiths and my official position is that i judge people by their actions not their beliefs however my unofficial position is that they all sound like fucken morons

if I was a cunty genderqueer, I would be like "my pronouns are he/quim"

Some of y'all can't handle 2 high agency males going at it and it really shows.

Trump is truly our first black president

buddy you came to the wrong ass to fuck

if you are the kind of person who likes doing bits, you have not lived until your partner has had a colonoscopy

they should invent a political party that's Good

the most universal loathsome human experience is Having to Know About a Guy. medieval villagers, the people of the steppe, Sumerian merchants, courtesans in the Han dynasty — they all had to Know about one particularly awful Guy or another. today, there are too many ways to Know and too many Guys

do birds get hot

you don't have to keep telling me that andor is good. I get it.