achieving peak Home for Christmas: reading a book about the history of longitude and eating almost nothing but bread and cheese

DVD is short for "Da ViDeo"

Shout out to my road dogg Pot Bear

slym jym

each option is funnier than the last

Jodie Foster: They should have sent a poet Poet: Aliens ahoy! A galactic sight. When you’re in space all day is night

"making up a guy to pander to," endemic in the pundit class

*indecisive zz top ordering at a bakery voice*: give me all your muffins all your scones and biscuits too

go ahead, get mad about men and "method" acting. I'm over here dedicated to "me thod" acting (school of acting developed by caveman named Thod)

Heres a simple trick even an idiot can do Make a pot of coffee, boil up a bunch of hot dogs in there. You got yourself a feed of jitter dogs. Simple

this is a list of the words that all three Beastie Boys shout on an unreleased song, which drove everyone who listened to it to madness

ME: I just feel like—like, you’re really on my back about this. GF: We’re trying to *save* money! ME: This was important! THE THEREMIN PLAYER I HIRED TO FOLLOW ME AROUND FOR THE DAY: vvzzzzzZZwweeeEEEEEEEEEooooooOOOOO ME: OK, really not helping, Eric.

Hath Milord any GAMES upon his PHONE?

Bobby Bolaño get your country ass in here this minute

honkin on bobo

[dune voice]: i must not fear. fear is a real bummer

what you hear while kirby is beating you senseless for taking his strawberry shortcake or whatever

my personal fav

Now That's What I Call Not A Pipe!

your Disney AI porn jokes disgust me. I for one am going to create a series of short films in which Mickey tricks Goofy into taking several devastating predatory loans. Goofy, destitute and hopeless, knows even death is not an escape, bc he lives forever in the prison of American memory.

Looking to spread some yuletide cheer with my new song “Big Nick Christmas”

reminded of this classic from the GOAT @bransonreese.bsky.social

Guards, seize him! ... Nah, I'm just kidding, let 'im go. Gotcha pretty good didn't I? You were all like, Oh shit! Haha. OK, SEIZE HIM—nah I'm just playin. You're good, you're good—GUARDS! Ok Ok Ok last one I promise. Phew, man *wipes tear*. OK yeah but for real, guards, you know what to do.

haha so.. I did some works! i guess u can look upon them? no worries if not!

One of my neighbors has been putting up these fish facts posters. All kinds of different fish, marine, freshwater, deep, shallow, all kinds. This is a good one. “Stg this real fish” took me out. Good work, neighbor.

Tis the season for Peach and Dennis fighting

Good Lunch; Mekla, Algeria https://www.google.com/maps/search/?api=1&query=36.68722349999999%2C4.266935699999999&query_place_id=ChIJsxq8xWKvjRIRnjfS76nyUpY

modern shirley jackson includes an email reminder

580 - Min-Max Baby

nobody understands me

This composition had eluded me for nearly a decade, but yesterday I was finally able to capture it. A train rolled through just as the Duquesne Incline was crossing over the tracks in #Pittsburgh, creating a picture perfect winter scene. It was worth the hours and hours I've waited over the years.

always reluctant to post about spotify wrapped (evil) but every year my "top songs" are all from the one album I listened to obsessively while I wrote / edited. this year it was Dialect's "Atlas of Green" (70+ listens)—just gorgeous stuff, esp for fans of The Books. www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIbQ...

The @alexshephard.bsky.social piece on her is so spot on, she wants to turn TV into homework newrepublic.com/article/2037...

the psychic torments of the grocery store soundtrack tell me it's that time of year again

I’m alive

Playing chess in a beautifully rendered park with an AI reconstruction of my deceased grandfather. I think of all the things I never got to say to him, and also review the DLC hat options

Alt text for those who need it. This is amazing.

Huzzah! I hope there's a chapter titled "Oh, Buck Up"

*pouring gallon after gallon of milk into a milk crate* man this thing doesn't hold shit

just put the finishing touches on my novel! Inspired by William Gibson, it's the story of a dystopian society where corporations trade cured pork through a vast, interconnected digital web — the titular HAM NET. And now I think I'll reward myself with a trip to the movies

one of the problems I have with Democrats (and other critics) labeling these "war crimes" is that it accepts the underlying claim that the people being murdered are enemy combatants. They're not! it's just murder!

"strong floor no ceiling" does, in fact, describe the Panera Sourdough Bread Bowl, available now

introducing Jorpoise: the porpoise with a job