banned from italy for "centi anni" for saying their pasta should be categorized as "line, tube, weird tube, and other"

ezra klein and ross douthat have found success by embodying powerful pundit archetypes: the Insufferable Nephew and Old Uncle Ogre

yeah lemme get uhhhhhhh cchinges ... and — ah damn is the shloske machine broken again

My god… this sandwich… it’s made of pure lunch

bart harley jarvis for sale on fb marketplace

ANUBIS: (presses button with paw) [guilty] OSIRIS: im sorry he does this when he's hungry ANUBIS: (button) [guilty] [bad] [food] OSIRIS: you already ate ANUBIS: (button) [bad] [bad] [bad] OSIRIS: he's right though we weighed your heart against the feather and its not looking good

The Amazing World Of Tomorrow

until the 90s, they couldn't render asses in video games. until a little guy named sonic changed everything

i don't think of it as a job—it's more of a hand vocation

happy halloween i am ready to confuse some trick-or-treaters

Political experts paint an increasingly dire picture. They expect that by 2035 the US will turn into a lawless wasteland called the Battlerealm. Their analysis predicts everyone will fight to obtain Skaxx, a street drug that makes you good at karate

legolas…what do your lived experiences tell you

(back at the ol’ ant colony) BREATHLESS ANT: Sir, I encountered the giant! She launched me into the grass and thought “vaya con Dios” at me. That’s why I’m 6–8 hours late

baseball fans the world over are describing tonight's contest as having an electric "going back for more olive" energy. "oh god," said one local fan. "i have a family. cmon like. like please don't do this."

the word "heist" derives from the old english phrase "HE IS T(aking that thing)". so now you know

All dogs go to heaven. That's why, right before I die, I'm going to graft a bunch of dogs to my body

thinking about this again, as I often do

they shouldn't put a baby in charge of a business — that's a ludicrous idea. unless... well, ok, hold on

excellent...

watching this felt like taking the lucy drug from the scarlett johannson movie "the woman who took the brain drug"

a lot of the electorate has questions about my gigantic back tattoo that says “it’s gay to be racist.” rest assured that I intend to answer most of them in due time.

these should all be mass-produced. every single one.

every time derek guy posts one of these, this site should play the halo announcer saying "DOUBLE KILL." "without your wife" is breathtaking

i mean for me a nazi tattoo is plainly disqualifying, but then again my pod did not save america, so

when you think about it, the names "chapman" and "buddy guy" mean the same thing. powerful

i am 39 years OLD. i post ONLINE. i have a stable job in a big CITY. i have a mild form of mental ILLNESS that can be treated with LITTLE to NO medication. i am going to kill myself because of postseason BASEBALL.

"tattletale to main justice" you say

silksong asks the question: what if some bugs hated you as much as you hate yourself?

ska rodan on stage: pickituppickituppickitup! godzilla in the pit:

You: It was nice to meet you, um, Mr Peepiss Mr. Pee Piss: It's Pee Piss, actually

this user has died from The Gate

children don't like the vehicle

In 2024, I wrote a story for Texas Monthly about Michelle Haas, whose complaints resulted in the removal of books about slavery from historic Texas slave plantations. Haas sued us, alleging defamation, and was represented by the preferred lawyer of billionaire J.P. Bryan. Today, we won on appeal.

your own personal frieza

there was a period where i took the dartmouth coach to and from new hampshire like six times in two months and every single time they played "turbo"

Charlie Browns mom: Waaah wah wah wah waaah waaah waaah wah Charlie Brown: oh, you mean pigpen Charlie browns mom: Wah way. Waaaah wahwahwah wah wah waaah waaaah wahwhawah wah wah Charlie Brown: yeah I get that. It’s pretty bad over there but I don’t think they hit him

these lumpy, thick-headed boys yearn for the forge. we must bring blacksmithing back or lose another generation of oafs to insidious right wing acculturation

now hold on, you're telling me there's protein in my lead powder? and it's vegan?! jesus christ

mr show ass country

Time to tune in to some analysis from Antifa expert…Chef Andrew…Gruel?…founder of…American Gravy Concepts?

Damn! Outwitted again... by tricky rats! — The Rat Dunce, 1986-2013

Restaurant Chez Mère SATE; QM9C+FJC, Bambari, Central African Republic https://www.google.com/maps/search/?api=1&query=5.769465899999999%2C20.6722428&query_place_id=ChIJ36JnQ3k5yRARymORoeL7dYY

Your man looks like he wears light armour. Lookin like your boy plays a dagger build. Call me if youre ever lookin for a real man

My reaction to literally everything happening (public health edition)

*southern lawyer voice* yo honor i find myself confounded and bamboozled by th' vexatious confection known as th' uncrustable

Well it’s not long sentence, but I did get to write this essay for @newrepublic.com! I strongly encourage you to join us. newrepublic.com/article/2015...