oh the model is 5'9 and wearing a size xsmall? Perfect! Very helpful to know!

to clarify, I do OF for a living but I like to keep that job and this account separate. I do all my advertising stuff on another 18+ account. I rely on this account to socialize and it makes me uncomfortable if people think I’m marketing to them when I’m trying to socialize.

I offer sexting now if anyone wants to come say hi?? Genuinely nervous haha 😅

It turns out being super racist and cynically bringing up 9/11 at every turn wasn’t the best way to win the hearts of New York City voters

It would be funny if he just immediately stopped smiling

is there a Balls Cheney

“You attract what you fear” OH NOO 200 slightly chubby and really friendly guys walking at my local park 😱😱😱

me two drinks in

Socially anxious guy at strip club: Dude I think this stripper hates me

People who use Halloween as an excuse to dress slutty lack vision. Dress slutty for Thanksgiving. Dress slutty to go to the library. Dress slutty to mow the lawn. You are a child of God.

Feral game idea: Let’s see how many cream pies we can make in 24 hours

my spotify DJ just said “I have a beat for you that is chiller than a polar bear’s toenails” and then proceeded to play the cup song from pitch perfect

sending a “you up?” text at noon on a sunday cus like you really never know these days

What is the best alternative to D&D Beyond for character creation and campaign tracking and useful tools for TTRPG? What do you use it for?

has anyone ACTUALLY participated in 69 because aesthetically and functionally that sounds horrible and that’s been on my mind since i learned about it 15 years ago

Feral game idea: Let’s see how many cream pies we can make in 24 hours

What a privilege it is to have your bed taken up by a small creature who thinks it's the safest place in the world

why is sleeping with someone on the first date so controversial? 😭 I need to know what they’re packing before I catch feelings

exposed brick is a huge selling point in apartments because you can do standup comedy there

remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think “they’re eating right now”

Deleting the thirst trap because the thirst it trapped felt sinister and alarming

Hate it when I flip my pillow over to the cool side and accidentally knock over my nightstand spaghetti and meatballs

Streamers say “mods” the same way a medieval lord would say “guards”.

Sometimes the stripper really does like you

Real question for people with the giant skeleton: Where the fuck do you put it the other 11 months of the year? 💀

I don't think we need two-factor authorization to sign up for Jersey Mike's rewards program. I think we can play that one a little loose

real question for people with the giant skeleton: where tf do you put it the other 11 months of the year?

i like when mr krabs calls him spongeboymebob

doing OF full time is just going “no i won’t send you this video i just said was $20 for 3 bucks” over and over again all day long

Day 8 of 31 Days of Costumes 💕

Bruh you’re in your 20’s just eat the damn onions and tomatoes

before filming // after filming

Clown school bully shoving 14 kids in a locker

Nico Robin 💕

the employees at Total Wine aren’t ready for me to ask them which Rosé is the best for doing anal

Home Depot lighting aisle is one of the few joys we have left in this world

after 5 years of doing this I seriously think I have the sweetest and kindest subs ever ♥️

Sometimes you go to a city and it’s like. Okay yeah, I guess that yogurt company had to have a headquarters somewhere

Chun Li! • Day 4 of 31 Days of Cosplay

people been saying sexually transmitted CTE and it’s been sending me all night 😭😭

I’m ready for Halloween yall

Frieren • Day 3 of 31 Days of Cosplay 🖤

Happy Final Season of My Hero 🐸

i know you want to be tied down but my ikea headboard was only $45 so please don’t wiggle around too rough or it’ll snap and honestly i don’t have the money to replace it right now im kinda in the middle of a whole thing i hope you understand

hey man just wanted to reach out and say i loved how much you drank at the networking event last night

Cut my hand on a cheese grater last night which is insane because I'm not cheese

Ohhhhh it's called Droupout because they left College Humor

"why do lesbians suck strap" why look at the moon. why listen to your favourite music. why eat tiramisu. come on now