blood yellow bile black bile phlegm

this clip from Shoresy of people rattling off Dutch names is the funniest and most impressive thing I’ve seen on tv in a long time

Kash Patel says he now has a lead that Savannah Guthrie's mom is being held at either the NCAA Final Four or the Masters golf tournament, plans to personally investigate.

I just wanna say that if somebody does buy the Post-Gazette from the Blocks I'll buy a subscription instantly. I spend money to support news providers all over the damn place and Pittsburgh needs a newspaper.

Excellent piece by @sulliview.bsky.social at www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...

Why the hell is "concomitant" not in the 🐝 word list, come on, NYT

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Les Wexner's attorney during the House Oversight Committee deposition on Epstein: "I will fucking kill you if you answer another question with more than five words."

Recent CBS News news: 1. Anderson Cooper leaves 60 Minutes after two decades 2. Stephen Colbert reveals network won’t let him air interview with Dem 3. Producer says politics dictating what airs 4. Owner’s bid for CNN parent back on the table. 5. Not firing Epstein pal.

We should never have allowed the birthdays of Washington and Lincoln to be submerged in a meaningless "Presidents Day."

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@kennethhite.bsky.social I'm sure you're aware but just in case

"When Musk & Hegseth argue that a racially diverse nation is inherently weak, they're not returning us to some long-established American tradition from which we've recently strayed. They are, instead, parroting the exact same propaganda that Nazi Germany promoted against America during WW II."

the dog's joy gives me joy

I'm convinced AI is our generation's radium - a discovery with genuinely useful applications in specific, controlled circumstances that we stupidly put in everything from kid's toys to toothpaste until we realised the harm far too late where future generations will ask if we were out of our minds.

THE HATERS SAID THE PATRIOTS COULDN'T DO IT. AND THEY WERE CORRECT. HONESTLY GREAT CALL FROM THE HATERS

“Mr. Beast Salesforce ad” - they’re calling it the least appealing phrase ever assembled in any language. They finally did it

My eighty-year-old mother speaks no Spanish, said she found the halftime show to be really fun. So, y'know, not all Boomers.

Your Ring camera can scam passing dogs and compare them to databases of missing dogs and that’s heartwarming and there are absolutely no sinister implications that’s why the guy in the button-down and Dockers is soothing

No Kings includes Draft Kings

i love european olympics opening ceremonies. the second the ioc names a european host city the prime minister calls the culture minister into their office and says "find me your strangest homosexuals. give each of them a period of our great nation's history, a kilo of cocaine, and Ten Million Euros"

[bursts into liquor store] oh no I’m remembering things, please help

Stephen King: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the dead zone King: it's about this all-american guy named johnny smith who's always telling corny jokes and just all round being a lovable goofball King: in fact you might say King: that he's in King: the DAD zone

No new pictures. Where are you at mentally?

I get my news from a reliable source.

When you kick a pirate in the crotch

OK, I know I'm an old man, but, yesterday I got a popup from Outlook saying 'welcome to the new Outlook, what do you think?' and I went 👎 and it said "oh, tell us about the problem you're having" and I went off at length, ending with "you thought Cory Doctorow's Enshittification was a wish list"

holy shit

DOCTOR: I told him he needed to get out to a show, that was how he would cure his depression. CHOTINER: So you learned this technique in school? DR: No, not— listen it was good advice. Pagliacci was in town. C: Right. Is it standard to give advice before learning a patient’s name? DR: Now look

My man should get his own Assassin's Creed spin-off.

Not so much in favor of Spurs as against City

I mean Darmok, sure, but the way I hear it Jalad just stopped at Tanagra for a chalupa.

I have no joke here, I just like saying "Judd Apatosaurus"

got forcibly "upgraded" to the newest Outlook client and somehow, impossibly, they made it worse

I know we're supposed to be all gloomy on this app but A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms is really good.

My most-viewed shared photo in Google Maps is a picture of the produce department at Giant Eagle. It has over 678,000 views. I don't get it either.

I should root for a team that is good at their sport.

Look I'm HAPPY that our little town's public works crew is so assiduous and I'm HAPPY that my street is so thoroughly plowed but oh god clearing out the (driveway width) x 3' high x 3' deep plow leavings at the foot of my driveway may have killed me.

I love going to the movies. I would go to the movies every week if I were confident that there would be no bullshit in the crowd. Theaters spend money on new seats, new sound systems, when I want them to spend money making sure that disruptive assholes aren't tolerated.

Last term I tried an experiment: I walked into my Tech and Design Ethics class, admitted that I had *no idea* what to do about ChatGPT - so I would let them figure it out. As in: their first project was to decide and write the ChatGPT policy for the class. Here's what happened:

what is your industry's characteristic personality problem?

In reference to episode 200 of NOMIA, @hitchdied.bsky.social, the reason that the Marines are on trial with naval JAGs is that the Marine Corps is part of the Department of the Navy.

Greenland to distract us from Minneapolis to distract us from Venezuela to distract us from the fact that the Epstein files still haven't been released.

The "Skycast" on ESPNEWS is the best way to watch the game. No blah blah, no replays. Just the game, from over the QB's shoulder.

There's an older gent getting day-drunk at this Applebee's and trying to chat up the young bartender and man what is the cross product of pathetic and cliche

Swear to God when that Everton goal just went in I said, "oh, no," which tells me that I have achieved true Everton Brain.

Barry seemed really unsure of what just happened. You scored, buddy. You did good.