you people need to show more respect for the political machinery that lost to donald trump twice

Boss: use this thing or you’re fired! Employee: it doesn’t apply to my job? B: don’t care! Use it! E: …sure, fine, whatever B: WAIT NOT LIKE THAT

Once they get over their horror that Dem voters actually voted for the candidates who said that perhaps the Dems should be ideologically distinct from Trump’s GOP are the centrists gonna try and Cuomo all last night’s failed candidates onto November’s ballot though

This is a fight between the volunteers of the Democratic Party and the consultant/billionaire class of the Democratic Party. That's what it is.

If you don’t want us to remake the Democratic party in the image of millions of Democratic voters instead of in the image of 12 billionaires who actually prefer the GOP, get out of our way

My brother, if we win the Democratic Party primaries then we ARE the Democratic Party

new anti-AI lobbying strategy just dropped

MY MAYOR MUSLIM MY CONGRESSMAN JEWISH

Alanis Morissette: Isn't it- Climate Resilience Alliance: Fuck's sake Alanis

“He’s not an incel, he just believes in the cornerstone of modern incel thought!

the thing that’s happened with social media — twitter, specifically — is that billionaires cooked their brains into thinking their pathologies represent the mainstream body politic, and they’re as wrong about that as every radical here who thinks there’s a communist uprising just around the corner

Chief Assistant has just joined me on my desk and shown me his butthole

Here’s one for the prediction markets: how many more heat wave summers until Europeans stop mocking Americans for drinking so much water all the time?

Man, Hillary told y'all ass that court was going to thrash the country and you all laughed and pretended she was worse than Trump while on MSNBC claiming you were in favor of Progressives. Thanks for screwing us and no apology.

Ah summer, the season of ED visits for “turned my back on the sea” and “tried to pet a wild animal”

I know this is serious and a genuine issue, but could we please have fewer problems that sound like a fantasy novel? "Our ancestors dug too deep and now we suffer for their sins".

If I ever get notified that Isaac Chotiner is on the line for me I will be shaving my head, changing my name, and disappearing into the trackless wilderness to meditate upon my own failures

this week on catfished

If other news was reported like climate change:

when will his vision be realized

I’m old enough to remember that Obama didn’t have to give Iran $330bn in unfrozen assets, lifted sanctions, and a wealth fund in order to get them to agree to nuclear inspectors.

Mother Nature enforcing her “you break it you bought it” policy ahead of the America 250 celebrations, I see

Sealant Team Six guarding our vulnerable shores against Algae-Qeada, Algaetifa. And Algae Sharpton.

You know, I've been on a tear lately about "men's weird private psychological shit destroying society" but let's give it up to Tulsi Gabbard for balancing out the gender scales a little.

This one killed me today.

antifa with a knife in the reflecting pool

Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords starting to look like a viable basis for system of government

no, the Devouring Machine God that We Must Vanquish or Appease isn’t a ghost, MOM

One the one hand, we should be nicer to people. On the other, Keir Starmer's government has banned me from public toilets.

Larry the Cat has been the only stable presence at No 10 and should automatically be PM.

Yeah, that’s the America I grew up in. When I say the anti-trans playbook now is the same playbook as they ran in the 90s against gay people, I mean the SAME

an ellipse without grass, a drained reflecting pool, the east wing in shambles, construction on the mall: shaping up for a can’t miss 4th of July metaphor

You should be embarrassed if you use AI in place of critical thinking and creativity, and I will never apologize for that outlook. We can talk all day about how it hurts the environment, but not enough people are addressing how it’s literally turning your brains to mush.

I am BEGGING that for people so invested in critical thinking , literacy, and context For yall to read for RETENTION. the critical theory Project 2025 worked so hard to ban … instead of just looking for new cult figures ON MY KNEES

The women have won four World Cups, but absolutely congratulations to the men for making it to the knockout round. Yes, this is a reminder that the USA has, in fact, won a World Cup — four of them. In case you heard otherwise.

Tfw your cat insists on holding intense eye contact while kneading on your lap

"The Americans can't get the slime out of their capital's monument pool and will arrest you for touching it," sounds like the sort of lie they'd tell us in the Soviet Union so we'd stop bitching about bread lines.

Do Democrats have a complicated relationship with the white working class or does the white working class have a complicated relationship with deprioritizing whiteness which causes them to constantly fail simple open book tests while the rest of us offer to let them cheat off our paper?

"Thank you for calling the Straight of Hormuz customer service line. Please listen closely because our options have recently changed. If you are calling regarding our hours of operation, please note that these may vary."

get in girls we're doing discourse

It occurs to me that Erika Kirk really is the nightmare scenario for white patriarchy. First Wife is supposed to be left divorced and penniless once she’s been traded in on the new model, not thriving and in possession of all your assets after she’s widowed

Multitudes of fart bubbles maybe

15. I stress "villains," because it gets at something important about the white working class. These voters – including in "districts in some pretty pro-Trump areas in rural North Carolina, central Pennsylvania, & Iowa farm country" -- have been primed to gobble up messaging that names the bad guy.

Do not, my friends, become addicted to water. It will take hold of you, and you will resent its absence!

Not to be all kids these days but kids these days never read a book a bit above their level with a notepad and a dictionary at their side and it fucking shows

Seattle Street Preacher just got sent off

If you haven’t been Butters at least once in your life have you even lived

If I wanted to encourage his murder, I'd say things like "trillionaires are a national security threat" or "guillotines are the moderate solution" or some such

The project of both sides-ism is to laboriously pretend you do not hear it when conservatives plainly state what they believe and want, and to read unspoken and fully invented intentions into everything progressives do and say