The US has gone from "walk softly and carry a big stick" to "react to every perceived slight like the most insecure guy in the room"

and you think you have what it takes to be fucking Immortan Joe? Guys like Musk and Thiel would be the *very first* ones to be clubbed and cannibalized in an actual, no-shit civilizational collapse.

So far there have been zero trans women reported as having visited epsteins pedo island. But lots of people who want you to think trans women are threats to children seemed to have gone there at some point. Curious...

People demanding things of Harris or even Obama. Where are your demands of Bill, Hilary, or W. There are two other living presidents here and the other woman America rejected.

The ADL criticizes Mamdani for not meeting with "mainstream" Jewish groups, but they define "mainstream" in such a way such that if any Jewish groups meet with Mamdani, as many have, they no longer count as "mainstream." It is a game that cannot be won.

Having the kind of work day where instead of actually focusing on the insufficient number of accounts in my queue to fill the full 8 hours I said fuck it and solved 73% of Christmas

This meeting is in the dictionary under “could have been an email”

Morning walk

My conspiracy theory is that the violent people on the right were hired by ICE this year and that's why their recorded criminal violence has dropped.

Interior decorating dilemma: do I pick the wallpaper I like a lot, that was my first (chronological) choice, that will cost about $300 for the wall in question, or do I pick the wallpaper I found later that I LOVE but will cost about $850

CHOTINER: Just once I wanted someone to interview *me* DOCTOR: Oh I know just the person, the interviewer Issac Chotiner is in town, I have his phone number right here CHOTINER: (sobbing) but doctor, I *am* Chotiner

I’ve driven across the country twice and man does this explain why that whole middle section I felt like a bug on a plate

So you’re saying there are more ketchup stains on the White House walls

I’m really starting to be concerned about my coworkers Our IT department sends out periodic “phishing” test emails to try and get people to not click on every damn link that comes along And this most recent one INCLUDED THE FOLLOWING SENTENCE: “Before you take action: this is a phishing test.”

live your life so your wife doesn't have to talk about your sex life on television.

Stop doing Nazi shit and then we can talk, couch fucker

happy to contribute to the likes that gave us this perfect moment lol

Trump take Rapture

heh

I take that back: IF you are transferring your patient to HEALDSBURG HOSPITAL IN SONOMA COUNTY you MAY be able to click that transfer to CAH discharge type Literally ANYWHERE ELSE, it’s just an acute care hospital

Day what the fuck ever: if you are at literally any hospital in any of the Bay Area counties you are STILL NOT, in ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, transferring your patient to a Critical Access Hospital!

saying 'the shootings were anti-ice in nature' and when someone asks how you know that going 'well-' and pulling out bullet casings with 'anti-ice' hastily scribbled on them is honestly hilarious

You cannot trust information coming from Kash Patel's FBI. You cannot trust information coming from ICE. You cannot trust information coming the Trump administration. You cannot trust information coming from Republicans.

i challenge you to find cooler news today than “despite all odds against American scientific research rn, a CO researcher developed a temperature-stable, single dose rabies vaccine that works bc of particles coated in CANDY & SAPPHIRE, & it could help reduce rabies deaths in places w/o electricity”

The richest man in the world is a racist with the emotional development of a 12 year old, his friend who finances the right believes he’s fighting the Antichrist, and the President is a dimwitted sex criminal who thinks he’s a polymath. Curtailing their influence is literally the government’s job.

It occurred to me this evening, as I continued my one-woman quest to convince Taco Bell to bring back the 7-layer burrito for real, that if Taco Bell makes you shit that’s probably more of a commentary on your lack of fiber intake than a commentary on the food

If I ever get the call that Isaac Chotiner wants to interview me I’m changing my name, cutting my hair, quitting my job and walking into the wilderness forever

Lord I beseech you, when I ask for the confidence of a mediocre white man, please stop before hitting the 'thinks sitting down for a one-on-one profile by Isaac Chotiner is a good idea' level of confidence

lmao. see, people hate on "defund the police" because both political parties dragged it, but they still support what it actually means

FUCK EM UP POPE BOB

Pretty sure the UN did the right thing when they told the slumlord they didn’t need All Gold Everything tho

This is your annual reminder that if you aren't cool with fat people, you don't get to enjoy fat bears.

Shana tovah to my Jewish friends and good luck in tomorrow’s Rapture to my Christian ones

I'll continue to be "I do not regret to inform you that we are going to win"-posting, so figure I should address this point that seems to come up every so often Q: "is it still 'winning' if only *some* good things happen in the near term instead of total planetary eco socialist revolution?" A: yes

I need other white people to understand that for every single story like this? There's 10 more (minimum) incidents Just Like This no one hears about... I promise you, this happens way more than y'all think. Way more than I think, most likely. It's to our advantage, emotionally, to underestimate here

We keep to the old ways here

Too late, Batman. Once this Tylenol floods the city's water supply, my wiki won't run out of editors ever again

Ever since GWAR covered "I'm Just Ken," they have gone a bit soft www.youtube.com/watch?v=TE_j...

He would know

Just a reminder before the “big announcement” today. Autism was discovered in 1911 and the modern definition of Autism came in 1943. Tylenol wasn’t widely used until the 1950s. Anyone trying to tell you that Tylenol causes Autism isn’t someone that should be taken seriously.

Yes. This.

“they didn’t have all this autism in the past” because in the 19th century the autistic kid was just referred to as “Cletus over at the Johnsons’ place who don’t talk much but does a real good job of training the plow horses and spends his free time whittlin’”

It’s not gay if it’s on vacation, duh

All the super straight, Christian, MAGA warriors broke down Grindr, the gay dating/sex app, yet again. The last time it broke down...the RNC in Wisconsin.

As I understand history, the way FDR campaigned and governed was pretty consistently hammering the shit out of the opposition party. He didn’t build his coalition with olive branches to the money trusts. www.presidency.ucsb.edu/documents/ad...

There’s nothing wrong with John Roberts that woundn’t be fixed by giving him dozens and dozens of new colleagues

Not to put this person on blast but also fucking ABSOLUTELY to put this person on blast because WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE TEACHING THE CHILDREN

"Thoughtful conversations" is a way of saying "having our ass handed to us by our customers" I was hitherto unaware of.

Evergreen