mbird.com/social-scien... Well, this lovely essay by @amymantravadi.bsky.social brought me to tears tonight.

I brought my young children some homemade pizza, and as I put the plates down in front of them, I prompted, as I always do, "What do you say?" And my two-year-old looked down at his food, cackled softly, and stage-whispered, "MINE."

I posted this same thread on Threads and so far the responses have included repeatedly calling *me* a liar and a scam artist and saying, "You are literally the reason I don't go to church" so if anyone's wondering why I'm not on Threads more-- 😂

Here's the thing about getting an education as a tired adult: yes it's good for your brain and future career prospects and blah blah but have we considered that it really sucks to be writing a paper on a rainy Sunday afternoon when you are SO sleepy and would rather be doing anything else

Women ruin the workplace. And women's rightful workplace is the home. Therefore women must get out of the house before they wreck that too

I wish there were less violence in sporting competitions. I'd watch bullfighting but I don't want to see a matador poking an animal with a sword. Destroy the bull with a well-turned Shakespearean insult and a few devastating rhymes about the downward trajectory of his career choices in this economy

A church near me set up a food and household item giveaway and advertised around the surrounding townships. The street leading to it was blocked up a mile in either direction today. One hour into the 4 allotted for the event, they ran out of groceries.

Have We Wronged The Once-ler? Perhaps the Thneed Is America's Future: An Op-Ed by a Sour Kangaroo for the New York Times

5yo is talking about a game he and his school friend played today. 5: AND THEN, me and AJ pretended we were ALIENS and we ATTACKED THE SLIDE with ALIEN SLIME! Me: Wow, sounds like you and AJ are two silly geese. 5: Now, Mom. You know we are not. Fink about it. Do we fly south for the winter? 🙄

Im sorry I wont stop telling everyone to get two kittens, but now Ive written a whole piece about how you should get two kittens open.substack.com/pub/thepom/p...

5yo, whose own amiability has been less than stellar this evening: WHY IS [2yo brother] FULL OF NOS THIS NIGHTTIME???? 😡😡😡

If you are in need (SNAP, WIC, furloughed, unemployed) please make an Amazon wish list with food items, hygiene products, & cleaning products. Share it using #MyNeedsList so others can send you something to help out during this difficult time. (The link to #MyNeedsList is in the comments.)

The existence of a vice president implies the existence of a virtue pres-- no, lol, I can't even put the words together hahahahahaha

Take your clothes off and put them in the dirty clothes hamper. No not on the floor; in the dirty clothes hamper. No not in the clean clothes basket. In the dirty clothes hamper. IN THE DIRTY CLOTHES HAMPER. Thank you. Put the dinosaur down and get in the tub. Put the monster truck down and get in

"You should just ignore what other people have to say! Who cares what they think!" Instructions unclear; to obey this advice I must ignore this advice, and am now stuck in an infinite loop that could have been avoided if we had all minded our own business.

I really hope our house never catches on fire, for obvious reasons, but one not so obvious reason is that I cannot imagine my 2yo being safely evacuated from a burning home in a timely fashion that does not involve painstaking independent preparation, solo door-opening, and screaming NO MEEEEEEEEEEE

In the history of the world there have been five typos that were rated most on-the-nose, most pure. This one left them all behind.

I am a wait-until-Advent girlie myself but that's because that's what brings ME joy, and if it brings you joy to start in November THEN DO THAT, this world is sad and burning and we all need a boost!

I was talking to my aunt today about how I thought I would lose my dad when I was much older and would be able to handle it better, and she, who lost her dad at twice the age I am now, said it doesn't get any easier just because you're older. It still is what it is. 💔 In this photo, he was 30 too.

*shines flashlight under chin* "AND THEN, from the top bunk, there came a faint whisper of a voice... and it said MOMMY I HAVE TO FROW UP"

“What do you say? What do you say? What do you say? What do you say? What do you say? What do you—oh good, great job. What do you say? What do you say? What do you say? What do you say? What do you say? What do you say? What do you say?”

One was a dragon. One was Dada. 🥺 (I got INSANELY lucky at the thrift store and found a UPS uniform in 2T)

Seeing a lot of local farm stands advertising mums for sale, and I just wanna make sure we all know how to spell the flower's full name! It is C-H-R-Y-S-A-N-T-H- 👀 E 👀 M-U-M

The art of Compromise means allowing your two-year-old to wear red basketball shorts to day care on Halloween, because they are an indispensable part of his firefighter costume, but mandating that he wear thigh-high socks underneath them to keep his legs somewhat warm.

Full thread

An answer to a question literally no one was asking: what would Jane Austen characters do on Halloween, if that holiday were marked by people of the gentry in Regency England? 🧵 (Please enjoy my truly terrible graphic design skills. Made with love tho 💕. In 2023. Yes this is a repost from Tw*tter)

In The Pom today talking about the balance between childhood and today's absurd expectations for youth athletes. www.the-pom.com/p/im-trying-...

As my 5yo is easing into the wide world of sports with preschool soccer this fall, I've been thinking a LOT about how I want to handle this commitment. Loved @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social's piece on The Pom today on healthy expectations for her daughter in gymnastics! www.the-pom.com/p/im-trying-...

I know the Law of Conservation of Mass says no new matter is created but has this been applied to sinuses. Because WHERE does all this snot come from. How. I don’t understand.

“The government doesn’t need to get involved in feeding hungry kids,” ... “That’s the business of churches. Neighbors. People like me who pay for the Starbucks order of the Range Rover in line behind me. We just need to let people be good to one another, heart hands emoji.” Go read the whole thing!

I wrote something about why handing out Ramen and Easy Mac on Halloween is performative at best and insidiously anti-welfare at worst. amycolleen.medium.com/no-kid-wants...

I am literally crying with laughter

Starting to suspect that the Ramen-in-the-Halloween-candy-bowl discourse may have just been a psyop to get people talking about thoughtful mutual aid and what kind of gestures are actually helpful 🧐

If every accusation is an admission, what does that say about the people who vehemently oppose politicians like Mamdani, Omar, or Tlaib based on their religion? If they think Zohran is going to force every New Yorker to eat halal, what do they think a Christian mayor should do?

Oh OK wow, unfollowing now. Was a big fan of the best of times. Was not aware it was also the worst of times.

"I promise you will get better leverage scooping the guts out of your pumpkin if you take off your giant firefighter helmet and your parka," is a sentence I just uttered in total sincerity.

If I had a nickel for every time Elizabeth Strout used "fat" as a pejorative, whether in dialogue or narrative, I wouldn't actually be able to buy very much because of inflation but dang, I'd still have a lot of nickels.

Having the fun experience this week of weighing how much to tell people about my lateness/absence/not showing up over the last few days. It feels... dramatic? Sorry, group project members! I didn't give you my notes on the Khmer Rouge because my dad died! No it's fine let's work on the PowerPoint.

"Why do they call them common CHILDHOOD viruses if my husband and I somehow keep catching them?" -me, as a toddler coughs directly into my ear canal

It figures that the show my sick, croupy 5yo is currently hyperfixating on is a CBBC program not available at our library or on most streaming services and which I am currently dubiously pirating (?) on DailyMotion 💀🙃 (If anyone knows where to watch Andy's Aquatic Adventures please lmk)

What faux pas did you commit in public at an age you should have known better? I was comparing regional restaurants at age 15 with an out of town friend. And I asked her if they had Hooters in Wyoming 💀

I'm going back to school for the first time today, one week since I got the call from my sister, and it feels weird. Last Friday I was taking a midterm and my dad was still alive. I could have texted him at anytime. Now his number is still in my phone and goes... nowhere.

5yo, opening a package from a kind friend: WOW! HOW DID MS. LUCY KNOW I LIKE DINOSAURS?!?! Me: I told her, bud. 5yo: WHAT?!?!?!? DO YOU TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT ME???? 😶

Every so often I ask you guys to tell me who you are following who is funny, and I feel like doing that again tonight.

I am known around these parts as Mom, Mommy, Amy (when my 2yo is feeling sassy), Mama, and apparently Sleeve, if the results of trying to teach my children how to cover their coughs are to be believed.

Folks I’m calling it now, the word of the year for 2025 is “lolsob”

“You have permission to do a lot less when kids are small, and they probably won’t notice. You can also do more when they get older, and it will still likely feel like you did it from birth.” Me today @thepom.bsky.social

Not to say the quiet part out loud but I have noticed that NO ONE is asking where Audrey Hepburn and Peter O'Toole were on October 19th 🙄

I wrote a Where Are They Now? about my wedding gifts, ten years after the wedding for @mcsweeneys.net. ZOODLES?? www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/our...

It is Her Season