I did the thing.

- 3 boxes of cereal - 2 boxes frozen waffles - 1 store brand bread - 2 Greek yogurts - 1 high protein milk - 2 boxes store brand children's allergy meds - sunscreen = $100

First evening of summer break got us like -

I am at the bar drinking my traditional alcoholic beverage to celebrate the end of the school year and the world cup is on tv and I'm sorry, watching soccer is just super boring. The field is too big, the ball is too small, the players run too much, the scoring is too low. I am so bored.

When someone asks what my favorite books are, I can never remember the title of any book I've ever read in my entire life.

Overheard students in the hall saying you could get AIDS from touching things and I whipped around and was like, WHAT?? and then had a five minute conversation/lecture on sex ed and it was an entertaining end to the last full day of school. (but seriously, WHAT? we knew better in 1995!)

i am a hot lady on the internet

Happy Pride!!!

I'm on the bathroom floor again, and breathing is hard, and eating's been hard, and sleeping, the world is a laden thing rolling around on my chest lately. Just being alive is heavy tonight, but we have enough dead friends. Come over. - LENA OLEANDERSON #Poetry 💙📚👀

I wonder what it says about me and/or bluesky people that my most popular posts have been around food, specifically carbohydrates -

The first secret of life is butter. The second secret of life is pasta. The third secret of life is buttered pasta. That is all.

My students: "the words create an image in the reader's head..." Me, internally screaming: YES. THAT IS THE POINT OF USING WORDS TO DESCRIBE THINGS. 🫠 Me, externally, calmly: okay, but why *this* simile in particular? What does ___ represent? Why is that important? Teaching is hard, yo.

Easiest/quickest ways to tell if a student used AI: 1. Read it back to them and watch them cringe in embarrassment and then try to cover it with bravado 2. Ask them to define the words they 'wrote' and they can't, because students have no vocabulary anymore. 3. Give it a zero, see if they fight it

woke up, decided it was a good day to scream into the void, it did not answer back, will keep you posted if it does -

my favorite thing about drinking coffee is that 3 minute period after first sip when it seems that everything is right and good and everything will be ok

I think about this poem all the time

My life became a lot simpler when I committed to being friendly but not friends with my coworkers.

Some people can write, and some people can WRITE. This is clearly the latter, whew. AI could never.

Eleven days of school left.

This political candidate volunteer just walked up the driveway where I'm sitting in the sunshine and smiled and said, "Is [husband's name] home?" and like??? Do I not look like a registered voter that you should be convincing to vote for your candidate??? Why was that your opening line??

I remember when the internet was a place for watching cat videos instead of observing the real-time collapse of western civilization.

what do teenagers have against paragraphs, I stg -

The faces and noises I make before 7am are none of your business.

So, @edzitron.com ate his Wheatties this morning

Never more a mother than when I'm picking up my children's dirty laundry off the floor, equal parts exasperation, irritation, and affection.

I am teaching Elie Wiesel's "Night," and I'm grading papers next to my 7yo daughter and she is the same age as Wiesel's sister Tzipora, who was immediately killed along with his mother at Auschwitz and I just had to stop and breathe hard for a minute.

The comparison I heard was data centers using the same amount of water as golf courses, and for that I was all, my brother in Christ, let me tell you what I think we should do with golf courses

Anytime someone asks me how I'm doing Whitney Houston just starts singing, "I Have Nothing," on repeat in my head.

What if we taxed vehicles according to size

I can't emphasize enough how amazing it is to feel full and just - stop eating. Like, even with only a few bites left on the plate. I can just - stop. My brain let's me do that now. I'm full, and I can *stop eating.* Miraculous.

Accidentally asked a question that wasn't in the assigned section of the text. Fascinating to see how students: 1. didn't ask after they couldn't find the info, 2. didn't just write down that it wasn't listed, and 3. how many of them used the internet to look it up anyway (I didn't want them to). 🫠

The Simone Biles, the Serena Williams, the Katie Ledecky, the Mia Hamm, the -

This is correct.

Some men have butts, some men have asses, and some lucky men have badonkadonks. I was fortunate enough to see one today, and said the appropriate prayers of gratitude. May we all be so blessed. 🙏😌

okay but this and "taco trucks on every corner" are why America is actually great. why does MAGA want to take us back to sad hamburgers and terrible sandwiches.

This is so good.

"coated to the max in spices" 🫠

QRP with the doctor you'd trust leading the hantavirus response instead of RFK, Jr.

😭

At no point during this academic year have I had all my pins in the air at the same time. I was also apparently given a unicycle for this personal year instead of the standard bicycle, and the results have also been less than stellar.

Coming off of Teacher Appreciation Week - yes, yes, absolutely yes.

I'm teaching a new course this year, and have struggled so much. My coworkers keep saying, "Ask for whatever you need! Happy to help!" and the problem with that is that I don't *know* what I need and therefore cannot ask for it. They are offering swim lessons when I don't even know I'm in a pool.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ALL OF US

no matter how much we intellectualize and dissect this performance, it's critical that we must never lose sight of what's most important about it (it's hot)

Good morning. Do you believe that suffering builds character or reveals it?

is food great? yes do i appreciate free food as thanks for doing an incredibly hard and generally thankless job? yes are there eighty million other ways to express appreciation for teachers beyond food? also yes

Whenever I am depressed and myself and my house are particularly slovenly, I deliberately invite someone over, because at that point only the spirit of my mother (who's still living) haunting and howling at me about cleaning will get me to do it. 11/10 coping strategy, can recommend.

get in loser we're getting Reconstruction right this time

People who walk with their arms just straight down at their sides with no movement at all are straight psychopaths and you can't convince me otherwise. Certifiable freaks that make me uncomfy. Move your arms!!!

Typed my work password wrong five times this morning, happy Tuesday.