Books books books books books books books books books books books books books books books

books should have good sentences in them, at least sometimes. Can't be arsed with books where the sentences aren't even good

I thought it was my children and stress, but nope, gong.

"No, you cannot just have a single avocado for dinner." A sentence I just said to my almost-9yo. 🤦🏻‍♀️

PSA: itchy allergy eyes and a crying jag will make you look like a puffy blotchy squirrel. 0/10, do not recommend.

Definitely posting through it in the group chat

Not driving the struggle bus, or a passenger, but a secret third thing - clinging to the back bumper by my fingernails.

people will scold you for joking around when things seem really scary and fucked up. brother, those are the times what we invented joking around for

God this poem is haunting me again.

2026 so far - Things broken: my daughter's arm, a section of fence, our HVAC, my car's brakes, headlights, and tires, multiple light fixtures, my husband's phone and tablet, the USA Things bent: my FIL's heart and body, my mental health, my work performance Things strong: my marriage, my family

Two days before she turns seven, this kid manages to break both radius and ulna falling off the monkey bars. Why. 😭

The horrors persist, but so do mushrooms

When your husband is working and says he's tired but you're on spring break so you help him out by taking a nap. 😌

I know that kosher wine is objectively terrible but somehow hiding it behind a column seems a little antisemitic. On Passover! 😂

They don't tell you that when you lose weight your knees become BONY and then you can't curl up on your side because your bony knees hurt when they're on top of one another. 😤

Wine THEN poetry THEN virtue and repeat as necessary

they are all just so Dumb i can't stand it

If I could go back in time and reapply to colleges, I would absolutely pick Purdue just because their Online Writing Lab is so iconic that I can't imagine being an English major there would not also be amazing.

Loving someone, and accepting being loved in return, is an acknowledgement that your life is not your own. "i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)" and so I must take care of my heart because it contains yours. I must love my body because it belongs to you, too.

Find your upright friends, the ones with steel in their backs. The managers, the organizers, the calm-in-a-crisis family members. The ones you whisper about, "I can't imagine dealing with everything they do." Sit them down. Take their hands. Look at them and say, "I'm sorry you have to be strong."

probably the easiest, simplest, most uncomplicated case ever of just Being Done with an author's work because they have demonstrated conclusively over and over that they are a piece of shit.

Please enjoy this set of gifs from Arrested Development that describe the last three weeks of my life:

My biggest neurodivergent trait is my inability to answer generic polite questions like, "how are you?" I'm completely stymied. I know that people don't actually want the truth, but I also can't lie and say I'm fine when I'm not. So it ends up awkward, I mumble something, and then flee. 🫠

Definitely forgot a few things that I told myself that I would remember 🫠

I have made more phone calls in the last three weeks than I have in at least two years. I hate this. I am an elder millennial. This is one of my nightmares.

P O S S I B L Y putting a half pound of cheese, bread, and butter into my empty stomach after barely eating today was not the smartest thing I have ever done, my stomach said to my brain.

Before going on a GLP1, I would overeat when stressed. Now, I have to remind myself to eat because otherwise I just forget. Basically, stress and eating well do not go together. 😂 (I usually don't have problems remembering to eat because I love food. Just not when my brain is Full of Stress.)

Haagen Dazs Matcha green tea ice cream snuggled in bed while watching Midsomer Murders (although these days I split the pint over two nights).

Get yourself friends like these.

Watching Forensic Files in the hospital while grading papers and sitting with my FIL and damn, this show will make you hate all men in about three episodes.

I'm at the hospital and they came to move my FIL upstairs and the nurse came in and said, "The transporter will be here in a minute," and my brain went Jason Statham?? And I looked that movie up and it came out in 2002, which was 24 years ago, please kill me now. ☠️

I've always loved this one.

family medical crisis = pancakes and hash browns

Last year I had four sections of Hon English 11 and therefore read "Their Eyes Were Watching God" four times a day. This year I'm reading it twice a day. This student just tried to tell me a "quote" from the book and I straight up told him that it didn't exist. Do not play me on that book.

The thing about asking for help is that society both tells you to ask for it when you need it but also acknowledges that people never actually do because they don't want to be a burden and SO if you are the only person in your circle that DOES ask for help you end up looking like an asshole.

Maybe I should take up drinking. Other people seem to like it.

I overheard someone say that I had an infectious laugh and I'll probably be living on that one for the next ten years.

Michael B. Jordan is the Michael Jordan of people named Michael Jordan who aren't Michael Jordan.

Today I ate: -Two pieces of apple cinnamon sourdough toast I got from TJs -A cheese stick -A Bloody Mary with spicy V8 and some terrible smirnoff from the freezer -homemade chicken noodle soup -Haagen Dazs matcha green tea ice cream I don't even know, man.

It's always time for Mary Oliver -

😌

I'm currently in the Before stage, trying to convince myself that the During Shower phase is real and I should pursue it.

i’ve come to believe that we will never solve the literacy crisis by talking about reading as “watering the garden of your mind” or whatever. books are, and have always been, the favored medium of God’s purest freaks and degenerates. Reading isn’t a salad. If you’re doing it right, it’s a vice.

Currently listening to: (New) Paris Paloma Daisy the Great Serena Ryder Rose Betts Stephen Sanchez The Sheepdogs (Old) Scissor Sisters Hozier AWOLNATION Cake

a love letter to chapter 6 of "Their Eyes Were Watching God" that is all

i’ve decided to be less stupid going forward

When you're having such a lousy time that you look at a beautiful sunrise and a great moon and your first thought is just, "Good try, friends. Solid effort. You'll get 'em next time."

you ever just stare at your name on things, like bills and work emails and prescription bottles, and go, that's a person right there. that name is a person and that person is me. what a thing that is, that I am a person, with a name.

A good barometer for my mental health is how often I have to rewash the same load of laundry because I can't manage to get it into the dryer before it starts to smell. I just restarted it for the fourth time.

I saw this and my brain read, "I like my men functional," instead. 🙃