/normal person watching this "Haha, I love it. I understand all of it and also it's the kind of thing I'm into! These people are my friends."

How is toast so elite

You guys do yourself a favor and look at what Eric Adams wore to Rosh Hashanah services at the Sephardic Lebanese Congregation

👍👍👍 cool great

The spelling of “Nexstar” is kicking a lot of people’s asses lately

explaining why you already didn’t like Tylenol is a very weird instinct right now but ok

Personally I am not having a good time

would be funny if disney was like fine we’re yanking sports off your affiliates this weekend sorry

“It’s a lot to explain so I figured I’d just call you” activates my fight-or-flight response because I know I’m gonna end that phone call with absolutely no idea what specific actions I’m supposed to be taking.

Seeing a lot of talk about medical misinformation (which I get!) and not enough talk about how autistic people are wonderfully and fearfully made just like everybody else and there is no need to find ways to prevent our existence or “cure” our neurodivergence.

Cannot believe I’m expected to work six hours today when it’s cold and rainy. Don’t they know I’m a plant?

This makes every crappy severance package I’ve ever gotten look a lot crappier

I keep having dreams where I need to pack stuff — either for a move or for travel — and I never get close to packing everything as time runs out. Won’t be looking into this.

This is not gonna work for me. The dog will have to walk himself.

Love a good bowling celly, S/O to Tyleik Williams

LOL

This rapture thing answers the question: Hey, what if Black Superpower Day jokes included everyone and was magnitudes less funny?

Resisting the urge to make an unwise financial and nutritional decision even though I know a good DoorDash order would fix me

Autistic and neurodivergent people deserve far better than a government looking to prevent their existence, let alone one that will invent fictitious ways to do so that puts everyone in danger

New ‘Capital Gazette Five’ highway markers remind: ‘It’s still dangerous to tell the truth.’

Don't suppose anybody in the room took it upon themselves to ask anybody in this admin why they'd rather have dead kids than autistic ones?

If anyone’s in the market for a hyperactive pug who won’t stop pawing at you while you’re on deadline and then will exhibit the worst leash behavior you’ve ever seen when you take him for a walk, I can sell ya one real cheap. Priced to move.

I’m having what feels like the most annoying day in history. There have been worse days, for sure, but none more irritating than today.

Man, for how much writers seem to love their em dashes, they sure are bad at learning the difference between an em dash, an en dash, and a hyphen.

Godspeed to everyone working in the Tylenol PR department today

If you work for ABC/Disney and have any insight on how the Kimmel fallout is playing out inside the company, please contact me on Signal at juddlegum.47 I will maintain your anonymity.

What if not liking sushi or rock climbing is what’s holding me back from finding love on the apps

Feeling several different types of shitty but I’m trying hard to have a good attitude about it

Folks, i do not feel good

It’s increasingly clear that I’m gonna have to start putting myself to bed at like 10 if I want to break this pattern of falling asleep on the couch

Hey Twister is about to start on AMC

Crying laughing at Olamide Zaccheaus nearly killing himself celebrating the DJ Moore TD

Gonna start using LYLAS again

Feeling a little exposed walking home with a dispensary bag in one hand and a pizza box in the other

sorry if it’s a hot take but I would like men to stop putting their STI status, testing frequency, or the fact that they’ve had a vasectomy in their dating profiles. Why are you telling me about your junk before we’ve even matched

When men complain about being put in the “friend zone,” that’s misogyny. When I complain about being put in the “friend zone,” that’s feminism.

this game belongs on thursday night

Need to find a full-time job soon because I’m overdue for a haircut and it’s driving me up the wall

Probably should stop beating myself up for “wasting” three hours on the couch after work. It’s Sunday.

no, i didn't mean to tell you that. there's shrimp in the rice. don't be stupid. you're being stupid.

I can't believe they're calling it Crazy Bread ™️ in the year of our lord Caesar, 2025. Be kind. Change it to Unwell Bread ™️.

Not gonna lie I want funeral pyro. In lieu of flowers buy pyro

I just don’t feel like I’m quite ugly enough or unpleasant enough to be this unsuccessful in dating. It’s disproportionate.

I love not knowing or caring what the Denver Broncos are up to

Spruce off-leash: Friendly boi. Plays nice. Good recall. Sometimes a little shy. Spruce on-leash: Vicious animal. Lunges at dogs and humans alike. Wants to meet every canine in sight but then growls when they’re introduced.

Hey what if we just let trans kids, their parents, and their doctors work this out themselves instead of implying there’s some, like, movement advocating for every single trans kid to have surgery.

For whatever reason our emails are setup as Lastname, Firstname at the new gig, which means I get called “Kelly” every single day lol

Why does everyone have bad knees? What have you been doing to them?

Depends almost entirely on how I land and what surface I’m on, but I don’t recall ever taking a fall that caused me pain for more than a few minutes? What kinds of spills are you folks taking?

the funny thing about the constant misappropriation of MLK is that the guy left a massive body of writing specifically aimed at explaining his views of those of the movement he represented to the broad public. it is extremely easy to know what the guy thought on a variety of subjects and yet