Raindrops on roses And noodles with schnitzel Mustard and onions And one quick acquittal

bobby thought he was dead, he was going to get the dry rub

Pretty sure the trophy involves paired puckers

I am literally two hops away from John Philip Sousa.

It’s nice to have a whole evening of watching returns without feeling like you are about to retch.

i can’t believe a good thing happened we should do this more often

Very unusual. Most of the time when MAGAs get together to celebrate a book they've never read, it's on a Sunday

We used to call this stupidity. There were smart people and stupid people and we let the smart people do the things they were good at and the stupid people were taken care of and didn't need to worry about what the smart people were doing. But now we let the stupid people think they're smart.

This adage in particular is hilarious because Jesus is recorded on multiple occasions just straight giving people fish. At no point does he teach them to fish. He does tell seasoned fishermen to let their nets back out & they are miraculously filled, but he doesn’t teach them HOW, he just provides.

Who wants to tell JD about his people www.livescience.com/archaeology/...

The homeland security twitter account exists as further evidence that fascists have piss poor media literacy.

Who has two thumbs and also an index finger with several holes in it after 30 min of the urgent care guy rooting around with a needle and then a scalpel in search of the 1/2” agave spine that’s still firmly ensconced in a knuckle anyway and now has a date with a hand surgeon? This asshole, it me 🤦‍♂️

a trans girl in vermont was kicked off her swimming team and committed suicide and at the very same time, the discourse in d.c. today is about whether the democratic party should’ve abandoned her sooner in order to win votes a day in an american life

Bread? Bring it Wine? Yes pls, why do you even need to ask Fish? Sure Uhhh drawing a blank on the other nine (olives are a non-negotiable ABSOLUTELY NOT) Please tell me tater tots are in the NT somewhere

This video from Portland is a metaphor for what is going on in America. ICE trying so hard to get Americans to cross a line and if they don't, dragging them across the line and violently attacking.

It is time again for spiritual renewal in the church of basketball

> @newyorker.com

U of A U of A U of A thank fuck, I did not want to have to burn like 25% of my wardrobe

Petty thing I’m yelling about as a lil treat in the face of The Current Horrors: You absolute dingdongs, you can either relish something or revel in it. You cannot fucking “relish in” ANYTHING and you need to stop saying that right now period the end. Jesus

If I had explain American history in one sentence, I could do worse than "John Brown was hung for treason, but Robert E. Lee was not."

This is why I am delighted to be a sustaining member of Spencer Pride, a beacon of light in one of the reddest counties in Indiana.

Thank you Bluesky for alerting me to the only version of this song I can stand to listen to (on repeat)

“the girlfriend of one of the founders of antifa”

Honey, do you need anything from the condiment sow?

this is, no exaggeration, some of the most loser shit i have ever seen in my life

Microscopic in the face of All This, but whyyyyy is my go-to radio station so committed to every track on that goddamn new Geese album. Sir if you could dial that soulful warbling vibrato down to maybe a half tone I would be considerably less stabby this morning

No matter what this meeting is about, Pete will always be a National Guardsman assigned to a Civil Affairs unit who got a bunch of crusader tattoos in his 40s because he wants you to think he's a cool, war-criming operator instead of an extremely online wife-beating loser

Write “anti-ICE” with a backwards B without writing “anti-ICE” with a backwards B challenge

In fairness, it appears to have started off as ANIT-ICE, who knows

Are we sure it’s not the Crapture because that would explain some things

Hoping Jesus is in the market for a pet and interested in Rapturing the goddamn rat that keeps eating my backyard succulents

I have a work meeting at 8:00 that morning but neither my project director nor I are likely to be on the list, so guess I will go over my notes after all

What Charlie Kirk and Jesus have in common is that American Christofascists absolutely hate it when you quote them directly.

Kansas City. Bbq. Trains. Stupid cool architecture. A bar with books. 👍

Seven hours in, I like Kansas City.

This is eliminationist, genocidal rhetoric. There’s nothing ambiguous about it. And it didn’t come from a random Bluesky account with 28 followers. It came from a sitting member of Congress. talkingpointsmemo.com/news/texas-c...

When you thought he was trans, it was proof all trans people were scum. Now that he’s cis, he gets to be the victim of the murder he committed.

The assassination of Charlie Kirk makes we worry we can no longer have peaceful discussions of whether gays should be stoned to death or civil and collegial debates about whether black people are inherently inferior. Our culture will suffer. New York Times tomorrow

Losing my goddamned mind. We can condemn political violence without valorizing a destructive, hateful bigot.

As a Storm fan I am pretty used to having several heart attacks right before bed, but sheeeeeeeesh thank you E Dubs

This looks like a wedding where they slapped a couple of tables in the four seasons total landscaping parking lot

If we cannot all be on the same page that the sitting president threatening to invade a US city is fascist dictator shit then truly I do not know what to do.

US Department of *theatrical pause for kerning* War

Picturing Steven Miller trying to beatbox to these dope bars and only managing some extremely half-assed raspberries

What an end to the half, don’t care that it’s setting lesser mortals up for heartbreak. I am impervious to your puny human attempts at inflicting pain; I’m a Storm fan ⛈️

The thing about living in a human society is you either decide that everyone (except those for whom it would be medically dangerous) has to take VACCINES into their bodies or everyone (with no exceptions at all) has to take VIRULENT PATHOGENS in from those around them and, look, the first is better.

Drop an old person you’re going to turn into in the future

When It Happens™, the entire city of Chicago will have a Malört toast at 9pm, agreed?

If you see this, quote post a spherical borb 🪶