Given the state of the world right now this is not what I wanted to hear from my fortune cookie

apnews.com/article/wash... lol

May the December 25th be with you.

But not every circle is a square.

I don't remember Sting singing about this

I was happy to save this from being thrown out a few weeks back. Crazy issue

‼️

one question i have: who is milking the oats?

New England right now

Japan’s fearsome crime wave continues www.bbc.com/news/article...

If you’re eating chips and salsa and all you have left is the little chips at the bottom of the bag, you can put them in a bowl and dump the salsa on top of them and eat like cereal.

I just thought of the funniest thing ever and I have to tell everyone: Bat milk.

Humidifier Review xkcd.com/3044

Marilyn Manson: Congratulations, you’re the new drummer in my band. You’ll need to pick a stage name that combines an iconic female celebrity and a notorious killer Me: I’ll be called Betty Boop Drunk Driving Marilyn Manson: You’re fired

Them: Wow you cook every meal that's so healthy Me, making eight gallons of chili: Yeah it's really a form of self-care you know

IT IS 2027!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

just blurted out in class "yes, you have to cite where you got your info. in a world in which lying loudly is the only thing that seems to get rewarded, citing your sources is an act of resistance" and folks, I really believe that.

my dog does not give two shits when i do a biiig stretch

Trust the Fungus

me: professor x: yes, i can read minds me: professor x: yes, i suppose the name alvin and the chipmunks alludes to he himself not being one

The “discover” feed now thinks that I like chicken related content.

Arcade Random Posting

This restaurant is an echo chamber. Everyone in the kitchen is just cooking. It needs an evil chef that spits in the food

To be fair she does look like a chicken.

If the Monster Mash is a graveyard smash, that would mean there is an entire Graveyard Chart full of songs almost as good as the Monster Mash

Sargento thinks we can’t handle 11 slices of extra sharp. Fuck you sargento!!!!!

Jesus was at Walgreen’s again.

the only thing i know about Twisted Tea is that it is a drink made primarily for people who litter

Happy Circulatory System Walking Through The Kitchen Day to those who celebrate.

Saturday might finally give me a chance to use this with the proper context.

Always 💖 Don't make me tap the sign

My page on Bluesky is a safe space and you will always be welcome and safe here 🏳️‍⚧️ Please, be careful everyone 🙏

This isn’t the outcome that I wanted and all I can do right now is to focus on myself, my friends and my family being safe. That’s what bad government does, makes peoples goals and hopes restrict down to just friends and family. And make no mistake, we’re going to have a VERY bad government.

Even though elections are now times of stress and terror, I have to post this clip every time youtu.be/666OKm08fRA?... I didn’t always feel this way but I hope the serious party wins.

Akira Kurosawa & Toshiro Mifune in Venice, 1960

Every day we laugh in the face of God

I'm going to need this suit on Tuesday.

Nothing, and I mean nothing, will get you up out of a dead sleep faster than the sound of a dog starting to throw up

Five years ago.

日本語の練習でーす 先日カフェでおかしな会話があった 私:冷たい緑茶お願いします 店員：ブラック？ 私：？いえ、緑茶お願いします 店員:いえいえ、緑茶はブラックでいいですか？ 私:緑茶なのにブラック？どういうこと？ 店員:砂糖とか入りますか？ 私:そういうことか。はい、ブラックお願いします このような会話を体験した人がいますか？